The psychology of compulsive shopping

[David Baxter PhD]

The psychology of shopping: For most, spending is OK, but for some it becomes a compulsion
By ANN WEBER, Toledo Blade
Sunday, January 11, 2009

It?s on sale.

I deserve it.

It?ll cheer me up.

It?s my patriotic duty.

Life is short.

Sound familiar? Maybe you?ve said such things to yourself to justify buying something you don?t need, from your eighth black sweater to a plasma TV set. But what?s the harm ? if you can afford it, if you engage in recreational shopping only occasionally, if it?s not affecting your life negatively in any way, and if you?re not binge buying because of a psychological disorder?

Probably none, but if you?re swimming in a clutter or bills, or if you have resolved to cut back on your spending in the new year, it?s a habit that should be tamed ? and it might be more difficult than it would seem.

As New York City psychologist April Lane Benson, Ph.D., declared via e-mail, ??You can never get enough of what you don?t need.??

Ms. Benson specializes in the treatment of compulsive buying ? spending that leads to financial hardship and family problems. Apparently there?s a lot of that going around. A 2006 study by the Stanford University School of Medicine in Stanford, Calif., concluded that more than one in 20 adults in the United States is an overshopper ? millions of us ? and that it afflicts as many men as women.

??You?ve got a shopping problem if you spend so much time, energy, or money on shopping ? even if you don?t actually acquire stuff ? that it?s impacting your life in a negative way,?? Ms. Benson says in her latest book, To Buy or Not to Buy; Why We Overshop and How to Stop (Trumpeter Books, $16.95).

Even if you can afford to spend lavishly, she writes, overshopping can be a sign that ??you?ve lost sight of what really matters in life or you feel that your life lacks meaning.??

Her Web site, stoppingovershopping.com, asks, ??Are you one of America?s 15 million shopaholics??? and offers these clues to self-diagnosis:

• Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues?
• Do you spend more than you can afford?
• Are some of your purchases unused or hidden?
• Do you feel guilty or ashamed about this behavior?
• Would your life be richer if you were shopping less?
• Have your attempts to change been unsuccessful?

In the extreme, wild spending with no regard for its consequences can be a sign of mental illness, explained local psychologist Christopher Layne, Ph.D., who noted that such behavior is one of the symptoms of the manic phase of manic depression, now called bipolar disorder. ??People will go out and buy two cars in one day, for instance,?? he said. Excessive shopping does have a resemblance to gambling, Mr. Layne added, because both have addictive qualities and both involve money.

But don?t worry that your love of recreational shopping fits into the category of an addiction or mental illness ? like a lot of pleasurable activities, he said, it?s not a problem unless it?s done to excess.

Cutting back on spending would be a fairly simple matter if we shopped only to satisfy a material need. Once that need was filled, we wouldn?t go into a store. It?s more complicated than that for overshoppers, according to Ms. Benson, pointing out that many people shop for emotional reasons: to feel better about themselves, to avoid dealing with a problem, to repair a mood such as sadness or loneliness, to express anger, to project an image of wealth or power, to feel more in control.

For Marcia O?Connor ? who as division manager of Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Northwest Ohio now helps people work their way out of debt ? buying clothes used to be a way to banish the blues. ??I had a shopping problem,?? she admitted. ??If I was down, I went shopping.??

It was a painful period in her life, Ms. O?Connor said. Her excessive spending caused financial and personal problems that eventually led her to therapy. ??It helped me to realize I?m not alone,?? she said. And it helped her come up with other ways to turn a bad day around ? such as going out for a run, taking a hot bath, calling a friend. ?I?m always probably going to want to shop, but I know the signs,?? Ms. O?Connor said. ??I don?t think you ever get over it.??

She shares her experience with clients as she offers them other advice for getting spending under control:

• Don?t delay. Make a plan now.
• Establish a budget. Write down all your expenditures
• Have just one credit card, and use it only for emergencies.
• Set short term and long-term financial goals. Write them on a card and put it in your wallet for a reminder when you?re tempted to buy something frivolous.
• When you go to a store or the mall, decide in advance what you?re there to buy. Get it and then leave.

Don?t be too hard on yourself, Ms. O?Connor added. Rein in your spending, but give yourself permission for a treat that?s particularly important to you. "When I was having problems, I kept getting my nails done," she said.

Be aware that we?re fighting the marketing industry in trying to get overspending under control. We?re bombarded by advertising that plants the seeds of yearning for products and implores us to ACT NOW AND SAVE!!

?It?s crazy to think those things don?t affect us,? said Montana Miller, Ph.D., assistant professor of popular culture at Bowling Green State University.

Curiously, our national anxiety about the economy may incline us to spend rather than save, she pointed out ? that is, we may feel the need to snap up a deeply discounted item, fearing the deal may not be offered again.

Shopping also has taken on the weight of tradition, Ms. Miller continued, using the retail frenzy of the day after Thanksgiving as an example. Most of her students told her they went shopping on Black Friday, she said, ?and when I asked why, all they could say is, ?It?s a tradition.??

If, despite your good intentions, you find yourself in a store, gazing longing at the merchandise and itching to buy, Ms. Benson suggested via e-mail that you ask yourself these questions before reaching for your wallet:

• Why am I here?
• How do I feel?
• Do I need this?
• What if I wait?
• How will I pay?
• Where will I put it?

Depending on the answers, you might well go home empty-handed ? and feel good about it.

 

[Lana]

In Canada, our shopping day is after, Christmas -- Boxing Day. On that day, malls and stores are insane!! Most have to hire extra security to control crowds. The sad part is that that sale is the same one all stores will have for the next month. The worst part, is that because most people are broke after the holidays, those same items will be even cheaper once Feb rolls around.

Last Boxing Day (because I consider it a sin to stay out of some stores) I went into my favorite store, looked around and was leaving...yes, empty handed. Store manager, who knows me, says, "Oh don't leave. Get something. I'm sure there's something you need." My reply was, "Actually, I need nothing....but if you ask me what I want...well, that's a different story....which is closely followed by what I can afford." Women around us laughed that bitter-sweet laugh and nodded.

I am proud to say I did walk out empty handed, but it is hard to change a habits. I like the questions at the end of the article. My fave is: "Do I really need this?" The answer, almost always, is NO.

 

[Halo]

Great article I like the question of asking yourself "How do I feel?" before buying something. Normally I am buying to try and make myself feel better so for me that one applies most.