More threads by David Baxter PhD

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Types of Unresolved/Complicated Grief
Counselling Connection
Monday, December 14th, 2009

Historically, researchers have argued that complicated grief is an expression of a major depressive disorder or an anxiety-based disorder that has been triggered by a specific loss.

More recently, researchers have concluded that grief symptoms only partially overlap with symptoms of depression and other DSM-IV-TR categories, such as anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder, and that although there may be some expected shared variance, complicated grief reactions do display sufficiently unique variance to warrant separate consideration (Kristjanson, Lobb, Aoun & Monterosso, 2006).

Absent grief is characterised by the bereaved acting as though nothing has happened. The bereaved show no feelings of grief or mourning and become detached from reality as if the death never occurred. Emotional numbness is common with this form of grief. Maladaptive behaviour is also common but often the bereaved is unable to associate such maladaptive behaviours with the loss experienced.

Delayed grief may result from pressing responsibilities (e.g. funeral arrangements) that the mourner needs to attend to, resulting in postponed grief that may last for years. An experience of grief may eventually be triggered by another loss or an event related to the original loss.

Inhibited grief involves inhibition of the normal behaviours that are associated with grief. Those who do not allow themselves to experience the pain of grief directly may develop some kind of somatic complaints or illness. It is common in this form of grief for the mourner to choose mourning some aspect of the deceased and not the other, for example, the positive aspects and not the negative ones. Like absent grief, this form of grief also encompasses maladaptive behaviour that the bereaved will usually be unaware of or not attribute it to their grief response.

Conflicted grief involves an exaggeration of one or more behaviours commonly displayed in normal grief while other aspects of the grief is suppressed. This form of grief is often characterized by extreme anger and guilt. Exaggerated anxiety manifested in panic attacks is also common. Substance abuse problems may also arise or existing problems may be exacerbated. The conflicted grief pattern can become quite prolonged and is normally associated with dependent or ambivalent attachment to the deceased.

Chronic grief involves the mourner exhibiting intense grief reactions that are common in the early stages of grief but continue long after the loss has occurred. There is little or no progress and mourning fails to come to any conclusion. The bereaved seems to keep the deceased alive with their mourning. This form of grief is maintained by feelings of insecurity and insecure attachment to the deceased.

The bereaved feels that they have sustained a loss of an irreplaceable relationship. With regard to this type of grief, the therapist needs to identify those aspects of grief that are not resolved and intervention would then need to focus on the resolution of this (Williamson & Shneidman, 1995; Freeman, 2005; Worden 2005).

Unanticipated grief, as the name suggests, is grief that results from unexpected sudden death. This form of grief is said to be disruptive to the bereaved and will often involve a complicated recovery. This form of grief entails great difficulty in accepting the loss that is accompanied by overwhelming feelings.

The adaptive capabilities of the bereaved can be seriously damaged in the context of an unexpected and sudden death, resulting in their inability to function normally in any area of their life. Although the grieving person can intellectually recognize the death, they will often have great difficulty in accepting the loss due to it being so sudden and so unexpected. In this situation grief symptoms will tend to continue on much longer than normal grief reactions.

Abbreviated grief is typically a short lived but normal form of grief. This is often mistaken for unresolved grief. The grief process is shortened or abbreviated commonly because the attachment figure or lost person is immediately replaced (e.g., remarrying immediately after the spouse dies) or there has been little or no attachment to the deceased.

At times abbreviated grief occurs due to anticipatory grief whereby an individual embarks on the grieving process prior to the actual loss occurring. This results in a much shorter grief after the actual death.

The problem with abbreviated grief is that the bereaved may show very little sense of discomfort as negative feelings can be blocked away by denying themselves the opportunity to experience normal grieving process at the time of loss. This type of grief can manifest in the future.

In every form of complicated grief, the bereaved tries to deny or avoid aspects of the loss and the full realisation of what the loss means to them. The tendency to hold on to and avoid giving up the loved one is also a common factor in complicated grief.
 
Where my dad's concerned, I'd say I deal with the chronic grief there because I don't like that 'letting the deceased go'. It's so final and permanent.

I don't EVER want to say good-bye to my dad. It implies he's gone somewhere other than just dead. Like waving good-bye to someone on a cruise ship. I'm never, ever going to say 'good-bye Dad'. Although it's irrational and cannot be proven, a small part of me likes to think he's around at times and/or 'aware' of me. I know that's bonky and is more about me than him. But I also know my dad would understand and not hold it against me, as much as I know he would not want me to be miserable.
 

amastie

Member
I found that I grieved the loss of my mother more when a plaque was finally put into place at ther cremation site. Seeing the plaque spelled out the loss for me.

Apart from that, I am well aware of onging grief at not being able to study (and it's me who, at one level, won't allow myself to do that!) It was always my first love.

And in recent years especially, I find that I become sad at Xmas time because I grieve not having had a partner or children of my own. I ask people not to send me Xmas cards. I don't want any sign of Xmas around me at all, though I'm happy to join extended family for Xmas lunch. My sister kindly remarked that I did appear more sad this Xmas and I explained that I expect always to miss having a partner of my own at that time. I also said that it would make it a happier time if I were to visit an isolated person at Xmas, someone who also misses that connection at that time and have set in motion through a charitable group to do fill in for another volunteer who cannot make it at Xmas time.

Works well for me. It's just a matter of meeting the person first to see if we hit it off. Hope so :)

Sending best wishes to all tonight.

amastie
 
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