Well. Isn't THIS a kick in the pants.

[Fiver]

I'd be deceiving if I didn't admit to my preoccupation with suicide and an actual plan (considerate though I try to keep it) in my back pocket. Today, while trying to not say the words that would find my butt thrown back into the psych lockup, Pat the Wondertherapist intuitively read between the lines, once again proving that she's not only smarter than me, but that I'm more transparent than I thought.

After an hour of back-and-forth which actually left me feeling somewhat in a better place, I said to her, "but if I did, you do have the insight to understand, right?"

"No!" she emphatically replied, "and let me tell you something. In thirty years of this, not one of my clients has ever committed suicide. I told myself many years ago that if that ever happened, that would be the day that I would retire from this business. So if you are sincere when you say that I'm very good at what I do and that I've probably helped more people than I know, consider that you'd effectively remove me from ever helping anyone ever again, because that would be the day that I could no longer do what I do."

Hyperbole? Doubtful. But she was making a point that she knew would trump me in every way. The very last thing I ever want to do with such a final act is screw up somebody's life, and this would screw up the lives of clients that she would and could effectively lead to healthiness. Let's just say that this was a kick in the butt that brought a bit of reality into my head where little reality has resided of late.

Damn, she's good. And I honestly love her tactics, because she knows me well enough to know what works. Plus, she got me to laugh after that. Nobody has succeeded there until today.

I swear there's a giant, dust-covered manual titled Manual of Magic Therapist Tricks she resorts to when dealing with me. She also said I'm too smart for my own good. I think I'll just take that as a compliment instead of trying to analyze it.

 

[ladylore]

Your therapist sounds like a VERY smart gal. :2thumbs:

Glad she got you to look at things in another perspective. And you left in a better place.

 

[Fiver]

Smarter than me, that's for sure, and I've never thought of myself as much of a slouch. The key is that she knows what will work with me. I'm not sure we all get so lucky as to have therapists with such insight.

And she eventually got me to laugh. I'll admit that I was annoyed at first because I wasn't in the mood, but dammit, it worked. Regaining my sense of humour might be a step in the right direction.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Manual of Magic Therapist Tricks

Note to self: Order copy from Amazon.

 

[Fiver]

It's out of print. I made sure of it.

 

[NicNak]

You definately have a great sense of humor Fiver. I really enjoy reading your posts and when wit strikes me throw a few laughs back at ya

I think my Psychiatrist must have that book too. I am sure there must be How to read minds Editions too. I think he must have the entire volumn :teehee:

I have always been told my sense of humor has been my saving grace. Keep trying to laugh trough your tears, sometimes laughter is indeed one of the best medicines :2thumbs:

 

[Into The Light]

fiver, your post really made me smile. what a cool therapist you have! thanks for sharing

 

[Fiver]

ITL, I'd tell her you said that but her head is probably big enough already today.

 

[Jazzey]

What if you're really good at hiding your real thoughts? You want to share but the words just don't come out of you because you want the decision to be yours, and/or your scared of intervention or judgment? What do you do then?

Sorry Fiver, don't mean to hijack this thread on you. Just a thought. I have a psychologist who keeps telling me that I'm vibrant and intelligent. I think we may have a different definition of "vibrancy". But because she says this, I just go with it. I do cry, the tears flowed recently. But the reason for those tears where misunderstood and I didn't correct.

 

[Into The Light]

i struggled with some of that too at times. i worked on letting my therapist know that some of that was going on. a lot of it i did through writing and giving the writing to her and it really did help.

sometimes i would go back and say, "last time when we talked about this, i thought such and such but didn't say so". you can always bring it up at the follow up session.