What's the point?

[Ashley-Kate]

I was recently told by the new treatment program that they are putting me on the waiting list for the day hospital. That is great i should be thrilled except the waiting list is long and between now and then i have an appointment every month to assess the situation..

The whole thing was really wrongly planned. My previous psychologist was supposed to continue seeing me but finally won't be able to cause well i am not well enough and the treatment the program offers while i wait is only on a monthly basis. So... great. Everything is great. I am freaking out. I haven't stopped crying since I heard the news first from my psychologist on Thursday and then from the program yesterday. I feel pathetic but not only pathetic I feel huge. I associated the whole monthly thing with the fact that had I been smaller I would be helped faster and so I am a failure.

I am just so very tired of everything of trying and not getting anywhere of losing my mind. I just don't want to try anymore . I am just tired of it all.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: whats the point

tired yes i understand this extreme tiredness I am happy that your psychologist found a treatment plan for you and hope you get in soon hun. The o ne t hing you can do for you is just just keep taking one day at a time and get through it. Sometimes hun that is all we can do is take each moment and get through it ok REST eat what you can or have meal replacement but keep trying hugs

 

[MHealthJo]

So sorry for this really hard situation Ashley...

Please post to us for support to get through this waiting time.... Or use whatever supports you can find to help you get through....

Hugs. xx

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

I associated the whole monthly thing with the fact that had I been smaller I would be helped faster and so I am a failure.

That`s an assumption, isn't it, that you aren't worth being helped because you aren't this "smaller size" you imagine you "should be." Also to label yourself a failure for an assumption you made is self-defeating. Ashley, you are not a failure. You are just too hard on yourself and think to little of yourself. That, in itself, is a setback, and something that hinders your progress, but does NOT mean you are a failure. ♥ And don't be too hard on yourself, I don't know any honest people who haven't had moments like these! Including me!!

The whole thing was really wrongly planned.

Who was it wrongly planned by? Forgive me, I am not sure how things were supposed to go. It doesn't sound like this change in plans is anything you can control and that it is just an unfortunate set of events/circumstances that you didn't have any power over. That's frustrating and annoying, heck ya! But if you can't change it, maybe you can change your expectations. Sometimes our expectations can keep us from moving forward, too. Life changes. We have to expect that, maybe! And then if something changes what we expected, we have to adapt. Some folks have a really hard time adapting. Others have been adapting all their lives and are burnt out from it. Some people don't know how to adapt to these changes. It might not seem so bad if you look at it later on. Sometimes time is all you need to get perspective on something.

Can you talk to anyone (therapist or otherwise) about how you are feeling about these changes? Can you ask them how you can regain some of that power/control over what's going on? Maybe there is nothing you can do, or maybe you can just say, "I'm very upset that all these changes are happening because it was a surprise to me. I want to get the help I need! Will these changes you have told me about cause my progress to be slowed down ? Are there advantages to it being set up this way instead of the original plan?" This would be more assertive on your part and at least make you feel like you tried to get clarification. Maybe you already asked these questions though?