When Is It Time To Quit?

[GDPR]

I have been working at the same place for the past 5 years. I'm proud to say that because it's the first job I have been able to hold on to. I have had many jobs through the years, some have lasted an hour, or a day, some a week, some 2 weeks or a month, and one even lasted a year. I have never been fired though, I have quit all of them.

My husband encouraged me to start the one I'm currently working, after pulling myself out of a completely non-functioning state that lasted a year and a half. He thought it would help if I had something to get up for every day and if I had a daily routine. He was right, it did help in a lot of different ways. I believe that's definitely what I needed at the time.

It has really been a struggle though,even though it's just part time. When I'm going through rough times, I cut back on the amount of days/hours I work, and add more as I'm feeling up to it(I guess I am fortunate to be able to do that). Right now, I have added more because I thought I was up to it. But, it's just too much. It's too stressful. So I will have to cut back again. I know my work probably gets frustrated with me because I do this so often, which means they have to find a replacement for me, adjust the scheduling,etc. I worry that they will eventually get tired of this and fire me.

My husband wants me to quit and apply for disability. He doesn't understand why I put myself through all of this stress. I,on the other hand, want to hold on to this job as long as I possibly can. I feel like I have to prove to myself that I can do it. I don't consider myself 'disabled' and I am a little offended that my husband obviously thinks I am.

I really don't know what to do. I worry that if I quit, I will have too much time on my hands and end up non-functioning again.Yet, I worry that the stress of trying to hold onto this job will eventually lead me there anyway. I know nobody can tell me what I should or shouldn't do, but I'm curious, how do you know when it's time to give up?

 

[forgetmenot]

I think talking to your therapist maybe would help you decide what is best for YOU hun. I find a job helps as it does give a purpose to me I hope you can talk to your boss and make some arrangements that when you are feeling too stressed you can take some leave for awhile hugs

 

[Been there Done that]

If you have to cut back on how many hours you are working and frustrating your manager then you should file for disability. I

enjoy the security of the monthly check and the amount of money is based on what you have been making at your previous job.

I hope you worked enough for you to get disability benefits. I got disability b/c I am OCD and have PTSD and have worked at

least 35 jobs in a lifetime.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

There are some places that offer jobs specifically for people who need flexibility. Perhaps you can find an advocate for yourself. Maybe you can even find something you can work out of the home.

If you quit and go on disability, you don't have to become stagnant... Why not consider doing volunteer work at an animal shelter or in a hospital or something else that you feel comfortable doing. A paying job can give you some purpose and routine but so can volunteer work.

If you feel up to it, maybe you can even join some kind of advocacy group that educates people about mental health issues.

Here are a few things (maybe you can find something similar in your area):
MHALA
https://mhanys.org/publications/mhupdate/update070709.htm
Cornwall Council - Advocacy
http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/uploaded_files/tuc_guidance_mentalhealth.pdf

 

[GDPR]

Thanks for the replies.

Yesterday was actually a really good day at work, so this is such a hard decision to make. I wish that I had more good days there than bad,then I wouldn't even be pondering whether I should quit or not. My work doesn't know I have PTSD or anything, and I don't want them to know.

Most of my co-workers are pretty understanding with my ever changing moods and know when to just leave me alone and stay out of my way. They can tell by the way I look when I clock in. When I'm having a good day, it's a really good day,for everyone there. But when I'm having a bad day, they're all 'the enemy', and I can't even stand to be around myself on those days.

My biggest fear is to become completely non-functioning again. It's kind of like when you have a panic attack in a store, and you're afraid to go back to that same store because it might happen again.Only I'm afraid to not work, thinking it will cause me to become non-functioning. And maybe it has nothing to do with the job at all and I ave just associated it with that(?).

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

And maybe it has nothing to do with the job at all and I ave just associated it with that(?).

Have you a therapist you can bounce this question off of (sorry, my brain is rather slow lately, I think you mentioned in another post you do have a therapist)? My husband was sick at home from an injury and he was starting to climb the walls, and I've been on stress leave for several months before, so I can sort of understand why a person could start getting out of sorts. Winters are the worst. At least if it's summer a person can try gardening, tanning, walking, barbecuing, reading outside, doing outside chores, or do outdoor hobbies...

I do know I've been in jobs that I've stuck with that, for my own mental health, would have been better to have left a heck of a lot sooner! lol But part of my issue was because I repeatedly selected relationships (men, friends, jobs, etc) that needed "fixing" and I didn't listen to my own feelings or worry about myself. Instead I burnt myself out or stayed in relationships that were unhealthy. It did turn out that the reason I stayed when I shoulda/coulda/woulda left was because that's how I was raised. It's not too surprising that if one is raised in dysfunction it can sometimes cause one to be "comfortable" in dysfunction, because the dysfunction seems so normal! lol

When your only normal is abnormal, somehow actual normalness seems abnormal.... Ya know what I mean? lol 8P

 

[GDPR]

I actually like my 'job', meaning the work that I do. It's fairly easy work. And I also like most of my co-workers. So it isn't that it's not the right kind of work for me, or that I should go out and find a different job. I really don't think I would be better off finding something different.

Working is so mentally exhausting, which makes me feel so physically exhausted when the day is done. Just being there, being around other people,and having to interact with them,and focus on my work is stressful. Some days I go in, and it's like I don't even really know how to do my job, and I have to ask others how to do it. I'm just so zoned out and I'm not even really there. Like walking in a fog. Then there's other days where I'm on high alert, and every little sound is amplified, and any sudden movement startles me and makes me jump and scream. I think I hate those days the most,because it's embarrassing. Other days I can't control my emotions and I'm either in a rage or depressed and crying. So, by the time I leave, I'm exhausted.

Those are the reasons I have quit every job that I have had. And it feels good to know that I have kept this one for so long, and that I can tough it out when I force myself. But I really am forcing myself. Not for the money, my husband and I can make due just fine without my paycheck. But because I'm afraid of what may happen if I don't keep going. I can't see myself gardening and stuff like that. And especially in the winter, what the heck would I do with myself then?

Maybe I should just keep going to work,and if the day should come that I wake up and can't force myself to go, I'll know it's time to give up. Cause I don't know what else to do, and this decision is too hard to make.

BTW, my T thinks I should keep working as long as I possibly can.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Well, you may like your job, that is you get something out of it... But is it the right fit?

Forcing yourself to be in an environment that works against you might be therapeutic and force you to get out there and interact with people, but on the other hand if this whole thing is against your very nature, why don't you look for something where you can be around less people and deal with people less directly? Why not find something that goes with your grain rather than against it?

Just being there, being around other people,and having to interact with them,and focus on my work is stressful.

I think I am a bit like you. Being around people all the time can be quite draining. I work around people so when I get home I like to "hole up" in the house and don't really want to go out. Having several days in a row working and only one day off sucks, too. I can handle it better if I have two days in a row off.

I'm not saying completely quit working (or volunteering can keep you plenty busy)...

I'm just suggesting you try something else. Kudos to you though, if you want to just keep going. Especially if your therapist suggests you stick to it. He probably knows more about what you can handle than I can.... lol 8)

Work At Home Jobs | Indeed.com
Work at Home Jobs - Finding Work From Home Jobs
What kind of Jobs Can I do from home? | Jobs For Stay At Home Moms

Stuff people might do from home:
Data Entry
Customer Service
Salesperson
Online Teacher/Instructor
Medical Transcription
Accounting/bookkeeping
Web design
Programming
Graphic design
Editing

Some things you could do during weekends or evenings might include teaching a course to a small group of people (an age group you are comfortable with)... If you like cooking and baking, for example, or have computer skills, maybe you could find out if your community center has a class offered and if they don't you could find out what you could contribute... People of all ages like to cook. A LOT of seniors these days are trying to familiarize themselves with laptops, internet, and email, and troubleshooting connection issues.

Doesn't have to be these specific things, but I am sure if sat down with your therapist or husband you could put your heads together and come up with a list of useful skills that you could utilize in a less stressful environment. You could even do the same thing you're doing now, but in a smaller company, with less pressure, and less customers.

Just throwing that out there, but you probably already thought of that! 8P