When one can't disconnect

[forgetmenot]

it never leaves this pain inside it never leaves fear always there when one cannot disconnect from past when all the dam fears come back one knows nothing is going to change not for a long while

I can't disconnect and i don't know how to move forward the fear where is she where is she

the thoughts the pain i can't disconnect i cant call crisis line i know no one can help me

I'm tired of fighting this im tired disconnect the only way to disconnect from all of this is one way

I'm tired i wish i could pick up the phone call crisis line but i cant do that.

i call my t left msg but it is Saturday I'm so tired i am to take care of me but i can't sorry i just wish i could disconnect

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: when one can't disconnect

Some reminders:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/depression/24660-challenging-your-hopelessness.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/coping-strategies/24733-challenging-your-rumination.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...-deal-with-difficult-emotions.html#post196402

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/dialecti...-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-skills.html

 

[Budoaiki]

Re: when one can't disconnect

Hi Eclipse,

If I may, perhaps disconnecting isn't the right path maybe you need to connect those things and accept that in spite of them you are still trying to move forward and although you may not have the means at this time you are looking for them and that is not something to be undervalued.

I've tried to escape the pain in my past but I found I was running from myself and in spite of what I have been through I like who I am and I am trying to better my life.

It seems to me like most people you are trying to better your life in spite of the pain inflicted upon you, so maybe you should re-think how you want to do that and what that really means to you.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: when one can't disconnect

thanks Daniel and Budoaiki

i don't know how to separate i've tried and still am trying

I will talk to T again

Better today everyone safe now i can breath again

I just don't want to do something stupid that will take me away when i am in that state as i grow too tired really to fight the issues to attack the problems

I can just be grateful that this time i was able to hold on yet again until the situation was resolved.

Each time it just gets harder and my will to continue gets less.

 

[Yuray]

I can't say anything that will alleviate your present pain, but I can offer this: You have not yet recovered from, or processed your brothers suicide. If you take the same course, others may feel the same way you do now, and for the same reasons. If nothing else, put your present momentary impulses aside, and consider those who love you. Do you think you can do that? You have displayed great resilience in the past, call on it now and listen to the responses to this post, as we are not burdened with your pain, and we have clarity.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I wish I had the right words to help. Thinking of you.

 

[forgetmenot]

i wish i had the freedom to chose i really do but in the core of me i know i cannot harm others with my action i just have to hold on for them.
i know i have to keep that thought always don't harm them by leaving it has kept me here it has been the only thing that has kept me here.
I am just taking o ne day at a time and praying i get through it without too much pain or triggers
thanks for all your responses i willl continue to try to fight each day as it comes.

 

[JennyS]

It is fortunate that you can express your self on this forum.
Keep it coming.
It will make a difference for you and for others in this situation.

Seems like you are a caring person and I am sorry you have to be in this emotional place.

 

[forgetmenot]

thanks iwill be okay somehow.

 

[forgetmenot]

Noone can get me to understand how people in power harm so much with their words why can't they see the damage they cause why why i hate me partially because of them i do i hate them all

 

[AmZ]

Did you meet with your therapist this week yet?

Please look after yourself.

Feel good.

 

[forgetmenot]

i phoned my therapist i have appt tomorrow sorry

 

[AmZ]

Don't be sorry.

Good luck for your appointment. I hope that you can get some stuff sorted out with your therapist.

Take care.

 

[forgetmenot]

Take care AmZ

 

[AmZ]

Good luck for your appointment. Thanks.

 

[forgetmenot]

i do not want to stay i should not have uh gone back to all that pain My T is gone now for a month and with each trigger i seem to have less energy less control i am heading for a major breakdown i know that now i have had one melt down i just don't want to be here i don't want people remembering me like that like that nothing i can't even call anyone now there is no one that would understand as i am not able to tell them hell not able to even understand it all myself i just know i cry to dam easily for no dam reason and i just want a way out and there is no door opened nor will there ever be.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Did your therapist give you a number of someone to call in her place?

 

[forgetmenot]

no there is noone to call but that okay i know they cannot do anything it has to be me i wish i could keep me together

 

[Cat Dancer]

Well, we are here for you. I am here.

 

[forgetmenot]

Thanks Cat Dancer for your care and understanding hugs to you