When will it end?

[Eye Stigmata]

Ok,
So I used to be really self concious....ok I still am. But over the last few years I've started to value myself more and more within my work.
And now I'm at the point where I want to just move on to bigger and better things.
I'm sick of being taken advantage of, I'm sick of not being appreciated, I'm sick of being told one thing to my face and having a million other things said behind my back. I'm sick of not being good enough, I'm sick of being stuck in the same rut day in and day out. I can't take it anymore.
I've made up my mind, I'm leaving, I'm going to move to Ontario within the next 6 months and move on with my job and my life. I've had enough with living for other people and being here only to make others happy, and getting no credit back.......I'm fed up with it.
I don't even know what to do, I want to move on, and then the other part of me just wishes I would die. Well....I guess it's a 50/50 here......

 

[Cat Dancer]

That sounds optimistic, except for the part about part of you wishing you would die. I hope you can make a good life for yourself. You deserve happiness and peace. I hope you can find it. Sometimes it takes a lot of work I think, but it's definitely something that can happen. I think it would definitely be better not to be around people who are taking advantage of you.

Take good care of you.

 

[Into The Light]

i'm sorry you're feeling so badly.

you've just started therapy. i would try to talk about what you're going through there. wanting to die is not a good place to be, and therapy can help you find solutions you may not have thought of that will help remove that hopelessness you are feeling.