Hi All;
I've been die'n to put a few words out there, and have some feedback.
Here are some examples from my childhood/adolescent/adult life.
My mother used to yell at me,first, before consol when I would physically get hurt. ie: I burned both my hands,second degree at around grade 1 or 2, picked up a rock that had melted plastic on it, during a field burning on our farm. Ripped all my finger nails 1/2 way down at school falling off a swing, the chain handle kind ( I interlaced all my fingers into the chain) fell backwards.
My mother told me not to tell my father that we had shopping bags in the trunk of the car, when we used to come back from shopping in town.
When I was pregnant with our first child, I asked my husband to tell my mother. When I went into labour, we dropped off our dog in the middle of the night at my parents house, without telling them.
My mother said to me once, "You'll never leave me, will you?" ....years later, when she was trying to take credit for the success of my life after we had moved away from her. I said, actually, do you remember asking me never to leave you? ...and she replied with, "I never said that, I must have been drunk."
When my husband and I were moving away from my parents(years earlier) for his work purposes, I asked my Dad to tell my mom. (She was sick in bed for a couple of days after that.)
I didn't tell anyone for seven years, that my husband cheated on me. When I finally did tell my mom, her reply was "OMG! who else have you told".
On her last visit to our home, she asked my son, "Is your mother always this difficult?"
That was my last straw, and ever since I have been reading literature on enmeshment, invalidation,narcissism etc.
Where do I fit in?
I have two sons, and the thought of my childhood, today, is unacceptable. I would never allow someone to treat my children that way, what happened to me?
any words out there?
I've been die'n to put a few words out there, and have some feedback.
Here are some examples from my childhood/adolescent/adult life.
My mother used to yell at me,first, before consol when I would physically get hurt. ie: I burned both my hands,second degree at around grade 1 or 2, picked up a rock that had melted plastic on it, during a field burning on our farm. Ripped all my finger nails 1/2 way down at school falling off a swing, the chain handle kind ( I interlaced all my fingers into the chain) fell backwards.
My mother told me not to tell my father that we had shopping bags in the trunk of the car, when we used to come back from shopping in town.
When I was pregnant with our first child, I asked my husband to tell my mother. When I went into labour, we dropped off our dog in the middle of the night at my parents house, without telling them.
My mother said to me once, "You'll never leave me, will you?" ....years later, when she was trying to take credit for the success of my life after we had moved away from her. I said, actually, do you remember asking me never to leave you? ...and she replied with, "I never said that, I must have been drunk."
When my husband and I were moving away from my parents(years earlier) for his work purposes, I asked my Dad to tell my mom. (She was sick in bed for a couple of days after that.)
I didn't tell anyone for seven years, that my husband cheated on me. When I finally did tell my mom, her reply was "OMG! who else have you told".
On her last visit to our home, she asked my son, "Is your mother always this difficult?"
That was my last straw, and ever since I have been reading literature on enmeshment, invalidation,narcissism etc.
Where do I fit in?
I have two sons, and the thought of my childhood, today, is unacceptable. I would never allow someone to treat my children that way, what happened to me?
any words out there?
