Where do you go from here?

[Ashley-Kate]

I spoke to my dad on the phone the other day and we had an interesting chat about well the problem the anorexia. it hurt me cause i came to realize with him that ever since the age of 5 years old i was selfconscious about my weight! i was not the typical girl that would go and play in the snow i was the one that would not go because i had to wear this huge snow suit that made me look even fatter than i already was !! pretty pathetic. Then i spoke to my brother and he confirmed that as well. my mom told me i used to come see her before i left the house to ask her if what i was wearing made me look fat! at the age of 7. Is this disease in me since i was a child was i basically meant to be this way!!! cause if you take away the events that happened to me that were traumatic i would have probably developed an e-d at some point cause i hated every part of myself

yours truly
ashley

 

[Little_Girl_Blue]

Hi,

Sometimes it feels like this disease defines you, especially in those moments you described when you didn't consider yourself to be anorexic but you still presented some symptoms. I think it's helpful to think that that's what they are - just symptoms...they are little pieces of behaviour that sometimes stick to you, but they are not who you are (even though it may feel like that, I know how that feels).

I get angry when I'm at a healthy weight and think I'm eating normally and then some person I barely know tells me "you don't look like you like food" or something to that effect...makes me feel like even when I think I'm fine, this thing is still there...
But it doesn't have to be. The feelings and behaviours you presented when you were young don't have to be defining, and neither do the traumas you experienced. If you have the power to control your eating, you can pretty much do anything if you learn how to harness that incredible power.

I hope you find your way and start feeling better...

 

[labyssum]

I'm sorry you suffered with this E.D. from such a young age.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 2 years ago, and I remember showing symptoms at 4 years old.