An excerpt from the new book Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
...In a nutshell, I’ll help you harness the power of your brain and your partner’s brain for love instead of war, in a scientifically supported way. In this book, I present ten key principles that show you how to avoid common pitfalls that deter or undermine so many relationships. These principles are:
These principles are based on the latest science, but let me stress again: you don’t have to grasp the technicalities of the science to understand these principles. I have done that for you. In fact, I’ve done my best to make them fun and enjoyable...
More excerpts:
The Introduction
and Chapter One
...In a nutshell, I’ll help you harness the power of your brain and your partner’s brain for love instead of war, in a scientifically supported way. In this book, I present ten key principles that show you how to avoid common pitfalls that deter or undermine so many relationships. These principles are:
- Creating a couple bubble allows partners to keep each other safe and secure.
- Partners can make love and avoid war when the security-seeking parts of the brain are put at ease.
- Partners relate to one another primarily as anchors (securely attached), islands (insecurely avoidant), or waves (insecurely ambivalent).
- Partners who are experts on one another know how to please and soothe each other.
- Partners with busy lives should create and use bedtime and morning rituals, as well as reunion rituals, to stay connected.
- Partners should serve as the primary go-to people for one another.
- Partners should prevent each other from being a third wheel when relating to outsiders.
- Partners who want to stay together must learn to fight well.
- Partners can rekindle their love at any time through eye contact.
- Partners can minimize each other’s stress and optimize each other’s health.
These principles are based on the latest science, but let me stress again: you don’t have to grasp the technicalities of the science to understand these principles. I have done that for you. In fact, I’ve done my best to make them fun and enjoyable...
More excerpts:
The Introduction
and Chapter One 
