David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
3 Things Your Self-Help Guru Won’t Tell You
by Cory Chu-Keenan, Mindful Construct
July 28, 2010
You’ve played follow the leader when you were young.
It’s fun when you’re a kid with no concept of self. But when you play this game as an adult — follow the guru — it’s called demagogy.
It’s tempting to want to align yourself with someone who claims to have figured out this whole life thing. Maybe they’ll slip you the secret. Maybe you’ll attain their level of financial freedom. Maybe enlightenment is found in an e-book for blah blah blah dollars plus bonus DVD’s and an audio program.
You don’t need it.
Your guru doesn’t want you to be totally free because then you wouldn’t need his next product. Here are three things your self-help guru won’t tell you.
1. Self-help is an oxymoron — autonomy is where it’s at
If you’re thinking of lending a helping hand to someone in need, then by all means go for it. You just might make someone’s day, or bring a little sunshine into the world.
Help means that you’re helping — someone else.
Helping yourself is scooping your own macaroni salad. There’s no warrant for congratulations here.
Okay, sometimes it’s necessary to help yourself by, say, learning about the symptoms of codependency so that you can stop relating to your partner in unhealthy ways. But that kind of self-help should only be temporary.
The point of self-help is not to stay in a perpetual state of needing help. Get the help and then move on with your life.
Don’t let self-help become an oxymoron for you. Remember that any type of help you take is meant to get you on your feet. Self-help needs to be a tool for attaining autonomy.
Autonomy means taking care of your own needs and wants, and not having to continually rely on someone else’s worldview to live a great life.
If you want a guru try Socrates or Soren Kierkegaard or Harriet Tubman or Anne Frank or Sun Yat-sen or Nelson Mandela or someone else who understands autonomy and freedom.
These are people who already have legacies. Why throw your money at personalities who don’t really want to liberate you?
2. Fear and stress are good for you
People want to eliminate fear from their lives because they think it causes too much stress. Yeah, let’s all go live in a shoebox!
Fear and stress are good for you.
I’m not talking about irrational fear and hypertension which are topics for your medical professional. I’m talking about the fear you feel from taking risks, and the stress you feel from the uncertainty of life.
Imagine a squirrel in the wilderness. See how he has eyes on both sides of his head so he has 180 degree peripheral vision? Notice the jerky movements exhibiting his paranoia? This guy has so much fear and stress that he has to shove food into the corners of his mouth, dig his claws into bark, and eat his lunch on the high end of a branch!
A guru would recognize the behavior of our squirrel friend as being sadly unenlightened.
When does he take the time to clear his mind? When will he watch the sunset and marvel at the mysteries of creation?
We may be the most dominant species on Earth, but do we have to be the most pompous?
If the squirrel slowed down or let his guard down for a minute, he’d be lunch. Or road-kill. Or fall out of the tree.
As a modern human, the stakes aren’t as high, but if you want to achieve what you’re going after, it may not hurt to follow the lead of Mahatma Bushytail. Because he knows the nut he’s going for and he wastes no time getting it even with the threat of swooping falcons.
You can’t predict what’s coming down the pipe. You can only stay focused and aware so that you can deal with obstacles as they arise.
In the moment, you won’t be able to conjure up the lessons that your guru taught you at that $3,000.00 workshop. You’re going to have to use skills that you don’t currently have and make it work as you go along.
Just like the rest of the “unenlightened” masses.
If you don’t feel fear, then you won’t know how to take risks, which is a good deal of what makes a good life.
And if you don’t feel stress, you won’t grow.
So why not use that money for skydiving instead?
3. Happiness isn’t the goal
Too few people say to themselves, “It’s gonna feel really great when I finish this project!”
Instead, we’re celebrating every time we successfully put away the groceries after a rough day at work. This is misplaced self-affirmation. You should already be finishing tasks, eating vegetables, doing pushups, and all the habits necessary to lay the groundwork for the pursuit of your passion.
Instead of celebrating every little thing, celebrate the big stuff. Finish a chapter of your novel and then see how happy you are. I’ll bet you’ll celebrate without even forcing it.
Speaking of novels, 19th C. novelist Charles Kingsley said:
Most gurus will tell you that you have to begin with peace and happiness in order to do good work. Peace and happiness come last, not first.
Work is supposed to suck. Especially when it’s something that you’re passionate about, because your passion should make you even more of a stickler for excellence.
After you’ve finished something, gone through the pain of overcoming obstacles along the way, then you’ll find that self-congratulation is in fine order.
You were meant to make your own way
If you really want to liberate yourself, then why go into credit card debt to get there?
70’s rocker Frank Zappa said:
Be like Mr. Zappa. He sure seemed to live a pretty fantastic life. And so should you. But don’t do it because I told you to.
Now go buy my e-book.
About the Author: Cory Chu-Keenan wants you to have an incredible work ethic that constantly brings you joy, pride and surprises. Get inspired with his self-motivating philosophy at Sacred Sheath.
by Cory Chu-Keenan, Mindful Construct
July 28, 2010
You’ve played follow the leader when you were young.
It’s fun when you’re a kid with no concept of self. But when you play this game as an adult — follow the guru — it’s called demagogy.
It’s tempting to want to align yourself with someone who claims to have figured out this whole life thing. Maybe they’ll slip you the secret. Maybe you’ll attain their level of financial freedom. Maybe enlightenment is found in an e-book for blah blah blah dollars plus bonus DVD’s and an audio program.
You don’t need it.
Your guru doesn’t want you to be totally free because then you wouldn’t need his next product. Here are three things your self-help guru won’t tell you.
1. Self-help is an oxymoron — autonomy is where it’s at
If you’re thinking of lending a helping hand to someone in need, then by all means go for it. You just might make someone’s day, or bring a little sunshine into the world.
Help means that you’re helping — someone else.
Helping yourself is scooping your own macaroni salad. There’s no warrant for congratulations here.
Okay, sometimes it’s necessary to help yourself by, say, learning about the symptoms of codependency so that you can stop relating to your partner in unhealthy ways. But that kind of self-help should only be temporary.
The point of self-help is not to stay in a perpetual state of needing help. Get the help and then move on with your life.
Don’t let self-help become an oxymoron for you. Remember that any type of help you take is meant to get you on your feet. Self-help needs to be a tool for attaining autonomy.
Autonomy means taking care of your own needs and wants, and not having to continually rely on someone else’s worldview to live a great life.
If you want a guru try Socrates or Soren Kierkegaard or Harriet Tubman or Anne Frank or Sun Yat-sen or Nelson Mandela or someone else who understands autonomy and freedom.
These are people who already have legacies. Why throw your money at personalities who don’t really want to liberate you?
2. Fear and stress are good for you
People want to eliminate fear from their lives because they think it causes too much stress. Yeah, let’s all go live in a shoebox!
Fear and stress are good for you.
I’m not talking about irrational fear and hypertension which are topics for your medical professional. I’m talking about the fear you feel from taking risks, and the stress you feel from the uncertainty of life.
Imagine a squirrel in the wilderness. See how he has eyes on both sides of his head so he has 180 degree peripheral vision? Notice the jerky movements exhibiting his paranoia? This guy has so much fear and stress that he has to shove food into the corners of his mouth, dig his claws into bark, and eat his lunch on the high end of a branch!
A guru would recognize the behavior of our squirrel friend as being sadly unenlightened.
When does he take the time to clear his mind? When will he watch the sunset and marvel at the mysteries of creation?
We may be the most dominant species on Earth, but do we have to be the most pompous?
If the squirrel slowed down or let his guard down for a minute, he’d be lunch. Or road-kill. Or fall out of the tree.
As a modern human, the stakes aren’t as high, but if you want to achieve what you’re going after, it may not hurt to follow the lead of Mahatma Bushytail. Because he knows the nut he’s going for and he wastes no time getting it even with the threat of swooping falcons.
You can’t predict what’s coming down the pipe. You can only stay focused and aware so that you can deal with obstacles as they arise.
In the moment, you won’t be able to conjure up the lessons that your guru taught you at that $3,000.00 workshop. You’re going to have to use skills that you don’t currently have and make it work as you go along.
Just like the rest of the “unenlightened” masses.
If you don’t feel fear, then you won’t know how to take risks, which is a good deal of what makes a good life.
And if you don’t feel stress, you won’t grow.
So why not use that money for skydiving instead?
3. Happiness isn’t the goal
Too few people say to themselves, “It’s gonna feel really great when I finish this project!”
Instead, we’re celebrating every time we successfully put away the groceries after a rough day at work. This is misplaced self-affirmation. You should already be finishing tasks, eating vegetables, doing pushups, and all the habits necessary to lay the groundwork for the pursuit of your passion.
Instead of celebrating every little thing, celebrate the big stuff. Finish a chapter of your novel and then see how happy you are. I’ll bet you’ll celebrate without even forcing it.
Speaking of novels, 19th C. novelist Charles Kingsley said:
“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.”
I say procrastinate. Procrastinate from buying groceries and washing your car and feeding the livestock. Okay, go feed the livestock. After that, do the thing that you’re really pumped about.
Most gurus will tell you that you have to begin with peace and happiness in order to do good work. Peace and happiness come last, not first.
Work is supposed to suck. Especially when it’s something that you’re passionate about, because your passion should make you even more of a stickler for excellence.
After you’ve finished something, gone through the pain of overcoming obstacles along the way, then you’ll find that self-congratulation is in fine order.
You were meant to make your own way
If you really want to liberate yourself, then why go into credit card debt to get there?
70’s rocker Frank Zappa said:
“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teachers, your priest, or some guy on TV telling you how to do your ****, then YOU DESERVE IT.”
And ditto for your guru.
Be like Mr. Zappa. He sure seemed to live a pretty fantastic life. And so should you. But don’t do it because I told you to.
Now go buy my e-book.
About the Author: Cory Chu-Keenan wants you to have an incredible work ethic that constantly brings you joy, pride and surprises. Get inspired with his self-motivating philosophy at Sacred Sheath.
