More threads by Laurie

Laurie

Member
Charles Gibson said on Good Morning America the other day that he asked Charles Schulz if Charlie Brown was ever going to kick the ball. Charles Schulz said no, we wouldn’t know what to do next.
This really explains my view on my life right now. Charlie Brown keeps doing all the things that should afford him the right to kick the ball. Even though he knows Lucy has moved it every single time, he thinks, maybe this time…..and she does it again. So, who/what is ‘Lucy’ in my life and how do we change ‘Lucy’? I think Charlie Brown should keep trying to kick the ball. If he stops, then he is the one to blame for not getting what he wants. Am I wrong here? I also get frustrated at him too because he keeps believing Lucy and trusting someone who keeps lying to him so I do wish he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. But isn’t this just the childish side of me? And the important point is for Charlie Brown to keep trying? Because this is about his character and mental health. But when is it time to quit?
As for the “we wouldn’t know what to do next” part, is this the same thing as being afraid of success or accepting good things?? Because if I get the ‘good thing’ then what do I do with it? With myself? Striving for it keeps me busy and focused and going, but maybe I am focused on the wrong thing.
I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this.
Thanks :)
 

jubjub

Member
Maybe it is time to find an additional friend who let's you kick the ball sometimes! Lucy will always be around......:)
 

Shaymus

Member
I think i heard someone once say something to the effect of "Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". I think what Charlie Brown should do is find someone who can help ol Charlie and hold the ball steady for him instead of sabotaging him.
 

Laurie

Member
GREAT, GREAT comments! Thanks! to both of you. I'll have to really reply later, but this is great - thank you!
 
I'm wondering if Lucy is part of you? Because for me, I would totally be Lucy AND Charlie Brown and then I would probably go on to kick myself when I'm already down.

The good thing I think is that if "Lucy" is part of you then she could be under your control. Might be tough to do, but she could be changed.

If she's not part of you then I would definitely find a new "friend" or new goal even. Maybe.

I love the analogy. :)
 
What's Your Choice?

Hi Laurie,

I was raised in a household where I was taught very early, "No hope, No disappointment." Having hope of better anything left me open and vulnerable to more pain. Seems that for me personally, I've kept myself in same situations. I have learned though that my happiness can't depend on the deeds or misdeeds of another. I'm happy by choice. Because of who I choose to be, If I were Charlie Brown, I'd be unwise to advertise myself as "longest Distance Kicker" knowing Lucy would again pull the ball. But I think you'll agree, if kicking the ball is Charlie Browns top priority, when Lucy sees him interviewing applicants to replace her, she will have to consider the reasoning. Satisfaction and contentment is a platform within each of us. As we interact with others, the good is bonus.
Just a thought.
Best wishes
 

Laurie

Member
Wow...just so many thoughts that I don't know where to begin.

Sheila –I like how you connected this to identity – “who I choose to be” that is exactly what I’m trying to do – make better choices.

Janet, I believe you are catching my wave length here. I have read and reread your post and I finally connected what I was searching for that I hadn’t seen before. I think Lucy MUST be a part of me. I know that I am much more comfortable striving for something than I am ‘getting’ something. I really don’t know how to accept credit for a job well done, or presents from anyone – even birthday presents. I am very uncomfortable with it and I feel awkward and I don’t know why. But I think I must be subconsciously stopping good things from happening to me by running from good opportunities instead of chasing them. But on the other hand, my life has another Lucy in it that I can’t put my finger on.

Shaymus, what you said really hit me between the eyes! I was so shocked but also so grateful for what you said. It made me totally look at what I have been doing in a different way. I’ll explain more in a minute.

Jubjub, yes. There will always be Lucy’s but I hadn’t given much thought to someone else being within my reach. I’ve been consumed with combating Lucy and she has had all my focus and attention.

I hope I can explain myself clearly here. It’s kind of fuzzy in my own mind, so tell me if I’m crazy –k?

While this applies to many things in my life, I’ll try this example as it may be the easiest way to explain what I’m trying to figure out.

I have been working at the same job for 5 years. But I was done with it (mentally) after the first year. I kind of dabbled in some job searching for about a year, then stopped and started again, and then things got more difficult for me to handle at work and I became more serious with my job searching. I get along with everyone. Especially with people no one else likes. And while I don’t always enjoy their company, I can be around them and help them without it bringing me down. Until this job.

At first, I felt like this was just a new challenge that I needed to rise above, then I thought I was crazy to keep working under these conditions and life was telling me I needed to move on. I did some rigorous job searching for about 1&1/2 years straight, had some wonderful interviews and got really, really close to some awesome opportunities. But I didn’t get any of them. On the outside, I have remained upbeat and strong and 'didn't let it get me down' but I'm realizing I'm very discouraged on the inside. I am the Administrative Assistant for Career Services at a private college and so I am skilled at job searching. I applied online, via fax, email, in person, from newspaper ads, from people I knew, from various job postings, from researching businesses I thought would be interesting to work at, from anywhere I found something I thought would work. I used up all my vacation hours with interviews.

One example was an interview process for a local city that took 6 weeks to complete. I was one of 97 applicants who went through a series of testing and panel interviews and was down to the very last day between me and 4 others and I didn’t get the job. So, on the positive side, I actually like interviewing because I’m interested in businesses and learning about them, and I made it that far out of that many people. I thought I must not be so bad afterall. But after these type of things happening over and over for such a long time, and nothing ever coming through for me, I have to rethink. I haven’t searched for jobs for about 8 months now and have had a couple of random interviews that I stumbled on.

I am very religious and have prayed and prayed about what I should do. Part of me feels like God is telling me I’m not done with my current job yet and I need to stick it out because He has a job for me to do here that I haven’t done yet. And there have been many HUGE things that have happened because I was still here and they were priceless lessons for many people. But I am bored stiff with my job (even though they keep giving me more and more to do), I have much higher standards than all the people around me, and I work at a much faster pace. I could go on but that’s not the point. The point is that I still don’t like my job. It is very draining and I usually have tons of energy but I’m always tired now. I hate that.

I don’t know what I should do. I get to take a small vacation in a couple of weeks since I haven’t used it all up with interviews lately– that’s a much better balance in life. I have received two significant raises which have helped my finances, but I’m still working two jobs to make ends meet. This is another reason I want a different job. I want just one well-paid job I can sink my teeth into and not two mediocre ones. But I won’t find another job if I stop applying and yet all that I did for so long didn’t work either.

That’s my Charlie Brown analogy. If I keep doing the same things, and getting the same results, I should do something different. But what have I NOT done?? And before you say it, I have tried accepting this job and dealing with it, but I haven’t been able to really believe that that is what is best for me in the long run.

So, who/what is my Lucy? Is it me? Do I not know how to be happy?? I don’t know. What I think would make me sleep better seems like too much for me to receive. Like I don’t deserve it or ‘who do I think I am’. But I see other people get it all the time and I don’t feel that way about them. I’m just glad they got it. Part of me thinks, some day it will be my turn. But it hasn’t happened in 22 years. What do I do next? How much longer do I hope? I have lost most of it (hope) and in a way, it’s easier to not hope cause then I’m not disappointed. But then, what do I do next? I’m blank.
 
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