glittermoonshine
Member
I am a highly sensitive person who is affected greatly by anxiety. I am very high functioning as a result and get drained frequently, resulting in feeling run down and emotional. I come from a background of emotional neglect and have been in several abusive relationships. It is only now that I am realising the gifts I have as a result of being an HSP and I have been using psychic protection to help me. It has yet to work effectively as so far I have only meditated in this way once.
I believe my partner has traits of an HSP making us soul mates.I know that because I have been hurt so badly in the past and because I am so highly sensitive that I over react but something concerned me greatly yesterday and I don?t know what to think/whether to trust him. And this worries me; I don?t want to be hurt.
Yesterday, after meditation, we had such a lovely day. I felt such compassion and love and showed it to him. It was an amazing day; we were so close and so loving...really loved up. He expressed how he felt back to me very much; sometimes (well quite a lot) this came across as sexual. My daughter was with us so this couldn?t be acted upon, but he regularly had an erection.
So I thought (perhaps wrongly) that after such a beautiful day, he would want to cement it (for want of a better phase) by making love; to further that love and to perhaps relieve the sexual tension that had built up during the day. All day he had been showing me how he felt and had no trouble in doing so and then when it approached bed time (and this is when I get confused) suddenly it almost seemed as if he was more ambivalent about the prospect of making love. He suggested going to bed because I was so tired, but no mention of making love, no more overt hints at how he felt. Instead we ended up watching a movie with my daughter. I then said to him, by the time we got to bed, it would be too late for making love...and he said about doing it tomorrow after work!
Being an HSP, I eventually reacted. I felt hurt and confused. How could someone demonstrate so much love in the day time only to subdue it by the evening? It felt like he?d been playing some kind of game. Were his feelings even genuine? I told him how I felt, I was upset. How could he become so aroused during the day only to be able to ?control? it or not feel it so much by the evening? He told me he was expressing his love for me during the day and that of course he wanted me. Yet he just hadn?t shown it...I assumed wrongly he?d be eager to tumble into bed early. There was talk of going to bed early (even my daughter suggested it because I was so tired) but no hints. Not even subtle ones from my partner. Eventually I became quite angry really. He said he wasn?t playing a game. That it was a misunderstanding. Yet this isn?t the first time he has ?teased? me during the day. He said that I shouldn?t doubt at all how he feels about me; that he loves me very much and that he doesn?t want to hurt me. He said all his feelings were genuine and I asked how he could not want to make love as a result; as a way of further expressing that love. He said that he did...yet his behaviour spoke to me otherwise. In the day time, it had been so obvious how he felt.
I believe he is an HSP too and because I was so loving to him during the day, he responded. Perhaps it had reached a plateau by the evening and my daughter?s presence had made it difficult. I think I worry so much. Other non HSP people would have just not paid so much attention to what had happened. He manages to convince me in the end of his love for me and I am then thinking it is simply me, over reacting and worrying needlessly. It isn?t that he doesn?t want me at all...
I want to be the way I was with him, so close and connected all the time. I don?t want sex all the time either; just love.
I think I can be the calm and loving way with him, as long as I am able to stop worrying.
Yesterday, there was no doubt in my mind that I was with my soul mate.
Am I able to trust and stop worrying?
I believe my partner has traits of an HSP making us soul mates.I know that because I have been hurt so badly in the past and because I am so highly sensitive that I over react but something concerned me greatly yesterday and I don?t know what to think/whether to trust him. And this worries me; I don?t want to be hurt.
Yesterday, after meditation, we had such a lovely day. I felt such compassion and love and showed it to him. It was an amazing day; we were so close and so loving...really loved up. He expressed how he felt back to me very much; sometimes (well quite a lot) this came across as sexual. My daughter was with us so this couldn?t be acted upon, but he regularly had an erection.
So I thought (perhaps wrongly) that after such a beautiful day, he would want to cement it (for want of a better phase) by making love; to further that love and to perhaps relieve the sexual tension that had built up during the day. All day he had been showing me how he felt and had no trouble in doing so and then when it approached bed time (and this is when I get confused) suddenly it almost seemed as if he was more ambivalent about the prospect of making love. He suggested going to bed because I was so tired, but no mention of making love, no more overt hints at how he felt. Instead we ended up watching a movie with my daughter. I then said to him, by the time we got to bed, it would be too late for making love...and he said about doing it tomorrow after work!
Being an HSP, I eventually reacted. I felt hurt and confused. How could someone demonstrate so much love in the day time only to subdue it by the evening? It felt like he?d been playing some kind of game. Were his feelings even genuine? I told him how I felt, I was upset. How could he become so aroused during the day only to be able to ?control? it or not feel it so much by the evening? He told me he was expressing his love for me during the day and that of course he wanted me. Yet he just hadn?t shown it...I assumed wrongly he?d be eager to tumble into bed early. There was talk of going to bed early (even my daughter suggested it because I was so tired) but no hints. Not even subtle ones from my partner. Eventually I became quite angry really. He said he wasn?t playing a game. That it was a misunderstanding. Yet this isn?t the first time he has ?teased? me during the day. He said that I shouldn?t doubt at all how he feels about me; that he loves me very much and that he doesn?t want to hurt me. He said all his feelings were genuine and I asked how he could not want to make love as a result; as a way of further expressing that love. He said that he did...yet his behaviour spoke to me otherwise. In the day time, it had been so obvious how he felt.
I believe he is an HSP too and because I was so loving to him during the day, he responded. Perhaps it had reached a plateau by the evening and my daughter?s presence had made it difficult. I think I worry so much. Other non HSP people would have just not paid so much attention to what had happened. He manages to convince me in the end of his love for me and I am then thinking it is simply me, over reacting and worrying needlessly. It isn?t that he doesn?t want me at all...
I want to be the way I was with him, so close and connected all the time. I don?t want sex all the time either; just love.
I think I can be the calm and loving way with him, as long as I am able to stop worrying.
Yesterday, there was no doubt in my mind that I was with my soul mate.
Am I able to trust and stop worrying?
