hi im a 35 yrs young gentlman from england who is a nurse i married a woman two years ago who on the outside seemed perfect but at some point changed she became violent and aggressive towards me and then it came out she had been diagnosed with cyclothimic mood disorder we have an eight month old boy and im concerned for his safty because of her mood swings (they are very focused) firstly on her parents then i came along and it was me she also drinks on medication i believe people with this ddisorder have various addictions ive now decided tro end the relationship and im seeking custody of our son i dont wish to take are son away from his mum i just want her to be well enough to able to be a proper mum should i have concerns she is very good at masking her illness i need help in not only coping with my divorce and the reasons behind it also i need to educate myself on this illness
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:welcome2: Jonny ,
I am sorry life is so difficult for you at the moment , I hope you find the information and support you need in this forum,
best wishes WP
I am sorry life is so difficult for you at the moment , I hope you find the information and support you need in this forum,
best wishes WP
ladylore
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Welcome Jonny. 
Cat Dancer
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Welcome to Psychlinks.
Sparrow
Member
Hi Jonny,
Welcome to Psychlinks!
Welcome to Psychlinks!
I think it all depends on the individual. For example, some people with more severe bipolar disorder may be more prone to child abuse while others with bipolar disorder may spank their children less than "normal" parents. Unfortunately, in my extended family, the former has been the case rather than the latter, but I am talking about relatively severe bipolar disorder rather than cyclothymia, which is not something I have seen in my family.
Regarding medication, it can be very effective and is usually the the most effective treatment for bipolar-like disorders. But, as your post suggests, often the problem is compliance in taking the medication.
Many patients with mental illness do not seek help. Many members here can tell you why. While prejudism and discrimination seem to have been done away with in some areas, in the area of mental health they remain rampant. In addition to skewed thinking during a episode, there is a lot of guilt, shame, and helplessness that accomodate them. Often, refusal to seek help or refusal to take medication is a way of saying "I'm ok and I'm in control." It's actually quite a normal reaction and it takes a while to accept that to be OK and to be in control, a person must see a professional on regular basis and (if required) take medication prescribed to them for the condition. It takes time to get to that....sometimes, some never do get to that and live their lives in an on-again-off-again cycle.
Please understand that I'm not saying that your wife not seeing a doctor is a good thing, I'm just trying to give you an empathetic view of her prespective...how it looks/seems to her. Sometimes, exploring that gives room for understanding and view of other, previously not seen, options.
Please understand that I'm not saying that your wife not seeing a doctor is a good thing, I'm just trying to give you an empathetic view of her prespective...how it looks/seems to her. Sometimes, exploring that gives room for understanding and view of other, previously not seen, options.
taking her medication was not the problem she alwys compliied with that it just didnt seem to work her outburst of anger became more frequent she became isolated didnt want to do anything with anyone more withdrawn it seemed like she just wanted are little famil buble and nothing else in it could she have a personality disorder ???
It could be a number of things, Jonny. We don't diagnose people here at Psychlinks. Our primary goal is to offer support, information, and compassion.
Having said that, I can imagine how difficult it must be to live with someone that suffers from mental illness. When I had my breakdown, I saw that frustration and pain in my husbands eyes when he tried his best to do something...anything. Sometimes he was angry...not at me per se, but more frustrated that he couldn't fix things.
I could be wrong, but I sense a similar kind of frustration from you. It's perfectly understandable. The one thing that comes to mind when I read your posts is a wonder if it would help if you saw a thearpist yourself to help you cope with the stress of caring for someone with a mental illness. A therapist would also teach you how to deal with your wife whenever she is having an episode, and teach you to recognize signs when and if she needs intervention. Have you considered that option? Your son would also benefit so that he too understands that mommy is sick and sometimes can't do what other mommies can.
P.s. I forgot to say that often, medications need tweaking. Each person reacts differently to different meds. Sometimes the dozage needs to be adjusted and other times, some drugs seem ineffective and a different one can be prescribed. Again, this is something you could discuss with your wife's doctor and see if it can be examined.
Having said that, I can imagine how difficult it must be to live with someone that suffers from mental illness. When I had my breakdown, I saw that frustration and pain in my husbands eyes when he tried his best to do something...anything. Sometimes he was angry...not at me per se, but more frustrated that he couldn't fix things.
I could be wrong, but I sense a similar kind of frustration from you. It's perfectly understandable. The one thing that comes to mind when I read your posts is a wonder if it would help if you saw a thearpist yourself to help you cope with the stress of caring for someone with a mental illness. A therapist would also teach you how to deal with your wife whenever she is having an episode, and teach you to recognize signs when and if she needs intervention. Have you considered that option? Your son would also benefit so that he too understands that mommy is sick and sometimes can't do what other mommies can.
P.s. I forgot to say that often, medications need tweaking. Each person reacts differently to different meds. Sometimes the dozage needs to be adjusted and other times, some drugs seem ineffective and a different one can be prescribed. Again, this is something you could discuss with your wife's doctor and see if it can be examined.
amastie
Member
Hi Jonny and welcome.
Since your wife was diagnosed with Cyclothymic Disorder, I take it that she has seen someone who would be able to help her, but maybe she doesn't want the help. If you try for custody of your son, that in itself might get her to seek help. Seems drastic but if you are truly worried by her behaviour you owe to your son to ensure that he is safe and well supported.
I wish you very well at this difficult time,
amastie
Since your wife was diagnosed with Cyclothymic Disorder, I take it that she has seen someone who would be able to help her, but maybe she doesn't want the help. If you try for custody of your son, that in itself might get her to seek help. Seems drastic but if you are truly worried by her behaviour you owe to your son to ensure that he is safe and well supported.
I wish you very well at this difficult time,
amastie
the diagnosis of cyclothimia was at least two years ago however they seem to think it could be a mis diagnosis and are sending her for re assesment she has also been diagnosed with ocd ? meds wise originally on prozac as much as 60mg daily that made her tired they reduced it back to twenty then she became violent again changed to prozac and lamotrogine still no changes she becam preganant so was changed to certraline and lamotrogine still no changes they have now increased her meds and sent her for re assesment ive recently learned she has been suffering from this illness for over ten years now so should she not have a working diagnosis and should they not have found whats right and wrong for her she refused lithium not sure why but she refused it
I may have worded my post incorrectly. When I suggested thearpy for your and your son, and different meds for your wife, it doesn't mean you have to be married to her. I made an assumption that you're interested in options that would help her improve or help you cope since married or not, she is the woman that will be in your and your son's life for years to come.
Actually, I'm surprised that courts dealing with divorce are not recommending the same. In any event, I do wish you the best in finding a resolve that'll work for all of you.
sorry just wanted to make it clear im still hoping to be able to support my wife a son needs a mum who is well not unwell but i need one stable household for my son at least,, and also a mum who is thinking clearly are the doses of medication she is on big ? 100 mg sertraline 200mg lamotrogine both one daily
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