ADHD and Wanting a Disorder?

[Dragonfall]

I know I posted a thread early this month about my boyfriend thinking he has ASPD, and I'm not looking for another e-diagnosis. Yesterday night, he was looking through other different mental health disorders. I finally told him that I'm not going to change my feelings for him if he thinks he has something. Self diagnosing is extremely dangerous, and I have told him this. I can't stop him from researching, nor can I change his mind. He is still underage (not for much longer) but he doesn't want to seek help.

At the end of our conversation, he told me that he wants to be identified as having a mental health problem. He definitely has ADHD and has been tested positive for it. This leads me to believe that he only wants to think that he's different because he wants attention. Is this weird, or possible with ADHD?

He is extremely shy and likes to be alone, but it's definitely not debilitating. He dislikes social events where lots of people are around, especially people he doesn't know. He has close friends and only really feels comfortable around them. That doesn't seem too far out of the ordinary. Many people are shy and find social situations uncomfortable.

Thanks guys!

 

[Retired]

Self diagnosing is extremely dangerous

You are correct, and the reason it's dangerous is because reaching a competent diagnosis is not just reading from a list of symptoms and seeing what matches, but requires clinical experience and an understanding of how to make a diagnosis.

There are often confounding factors that affect what a final diagnosis might be which may require diagnostic tests to rule out various possibilities.

You mentioned he is underage but not for long, which suggests he's in his late teens. Responsible thinking does not come automatically at a certain age, and to some extent may be a reflection of attitudes he learned at home.

Your best course of action would be to persuade him to think like a responsible adult, take the steps to learn exactly what is his diagnosis and deal with the treatments recommended by his physician.

As for yourself, you may want to re-evaluate what draws you to this boy, and if the values and attitudes he possesses are those consistent with your own.

You cannot change his behaviour, and he needs to understand the consequences of his irresponsible behaviour toward his health care in order to change.

You may be able to help him make that realization by providing him with facts, but in the end, the choice is his.

Do you want to be involved with someone who shows irresponsible behaviour toward his own healthcare?

 

[Dragonfall]

You are correct, and the reason it's dangerous is because reaching a competent diagnosis is not just reading from a list of symptoms and seeing what matches, but requires clinical experience and an understanding of how to make a diagnosis.

There are often confounding factors that affect what a final diagnosis might be which may require diagnostic tests to rule out various possibilities.

You mentioned he is underage but not for long, which suggests he's in his late teens. Responsible thinking does not come automatically at a certain age, and to some extent may be a reflection of attitudes he learned at home.

Your best course of action would be to persuade him to think like a responsible adult, take the steps to learn exactly what is his diagnosis and deal with the treatments recommended by his physician.

As for yourself, you may want to re-evaluate what draws you to this boy, and if the values and attitudes he possesses are those consistent with your own.

You cannot change his behaviour, and he needs to understand the consequences of his irresponsible behaviour toward his health care in order to change.

You may be able to help him make that realization by providing him with facts, but in the end, the choice is his.

Do you want to be involved with someone who shows irresponsible behaviour toward his own healthcare?

This is what I've been telling him! Being shy or not liking social situations doesn't mean that he has to have a disorder. But after I said that, he said he knows... but he wants to have a disorder. If I ask him to explain why he thinks he has something, he'll argue back with a very normal trait. For example, breaking down after too much stress or being annoyed that he has to stay late for work. The reason I brought the topic up on an ADHD board was because I don't think he thinks he has a problem-- he just wants a problem to be different from everyone else. Which is very attention seeking.

I'm not going to leave him over this. Our relationship is near perfect. But I do want to help him realize that he can't just decide that he has something.

Do you have any resources on the dangers of self-diagnosing?

 

[Jazzey]

See:

• http://forum.psychlinks.ca/health-i...ia-the-perils-of-internet-self-diagnosis.html
• http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/25/technology/internet/25symptoms.html
• Cyberchondria and the Internet on MedicineNet.com
• Cyberchondria: The perils of internet self-diagnosis - Features, Health & Families - The Independent

 

[David Baxter PhD]

See:

• Hypochondria - MayoClinic.com
  
• Munchausen syndrome - MayoClinic.com
  
• Malingering - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  
• Factitious disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Retired]

This Psychlinks Post may also be of interest: Pitfalls of Self Diagnosis

 

[Dragonfall]

Great guys! Thank you!