Adult bullying

[threegrayanimals]

I am a single mother of a 15 year old girl. Although she has some learning issues , she has managed to be in all honors classes, on the A-B honor roll, in ROTC, on the soccer team and the color guard. She does her chores, helps out around the home, etc. She still can be a bit mouthy at times and is impossible to get out of bed before noon on the weekends so I will admit she is not perfect. I am now having an issue that I am totally confused about.

This week, my dear girl was skate boarding with a neighborhood friend when his mother pulled up and screeched to a halt, told her son to get in the car and then screamed at my daughter to stay away from her son, that she had a bad reputation! My daughter was devastated. She then received an email from another neighbor who said that she had been to one to tell this mother about DD and that she also would not let her son play with her because she did not want her son getting a bad rep. She also said that she had overheard on several occasions, unknown people talking about my DD and that she had been seen walking on the road with boys, smoking pot, and had a terrible temper and was aggressive.

I am furious to the point that I am afraid my anger is clouding my judgment. I teach special education in high school and deal with this sort of bullying everyday among children. My daughter has had similar issues at school and we discuss how to handle negativity from others. I believe that at school she is capable of working things out so I discuss them with her but don't intervene unless it is something that she can't handle on her own. This is different. I have taught her to respect adults and respect authority but how can I help her defend herself when the bullies are adults?

None of the accusations are true and my gut wants to me to confront whoever is saying this. I want to do the right thing and I want to be a good role model for my daughter. BTW, the neighbor who told her about the pool gossip is one that I had to tell to back off from DD earlier for sending her texts saying that she had bad behavior, she was mean, she was immature, etc. etc.

I'm not saying she hasn't been any of these things but I need to be in the loop and she needs to be more specific about what she is referencing.

I am asking for suggestions on how to approach this?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

How about this?

1. Contact the first mother, the one who dragged her son away and yelled at your daughter. Let her know first that you fully understand that she is a concerned parent who believes she is looking out for the best interests of her son, and then tell her that what she has heard are vindictive lies from a person who has a grudge against you. Suggest to her that she (a) consider the source and (b) evaluate the evidence before accusing anyone, especially vulnerable young people. Let her know that you know your daughter is not perfect but that what she has heard about her is simply untrue and malicious.

2. Contact the woman who is spreading false rumors about your daughter and let her know that you know what she has been saying and that there are laws about slander and libel. Let her know in no uncertain terms that if her behavior continues and she continues to spread these malicious rumors, you will take any and all legal action available to you against her. If she does continue in this vein, contact a lawyer and request that the lawyer issue a final formal warning.

 

[forgetmenot]

I agree with Dr Baxter hun You should call authorities and let them know what is happening and see if an officer can go talk to this parent who is spreading rumors
Your daughter cannot fight this alone Let us know how it works out ok hugs