• Quote of the Day
    "You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness by
    giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged."
    Dale Carnegie, posted by Cat Dancer

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
I've have always had a lot of trouble talking about what happened to me, especially the specifics. I've found that when I talk about it to other people it is like someone else is talking about it, not me. Even when I think about the conversations I've had with some people about it I feel like it was all a big dream. I was wondering if this is normal?
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,390
Points
63
I suspect that it is more common than you might think -- it's a defense against the anxiety and pain of remembering and thinking about and talking about what happened to you -- sort of like dissociation.
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
Yep. In my experience, that's perfectly normal. As Dr. Baxter said, it's a form of self-protection. The fact that you're getting these memories and feelings outside yourself, and getting a new perspective on them, is worth it, in my opinion. :eek:)
 

awthedude

Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
41
Points
6
thanks for the input I really do appreciate it. Also, at night I will have these flashbacks that I can feel coming and i really dread them. When I have them it isn't specific memories though, its just the feeling of being invaded and hurt. It really isn't much fun. I used to only have them every once and while but they seem to be reoccuring more often now, I wonder if that's a sign that I am starting to confront it more or if the pressure is just making it all worse for me and im not really getting anywhere. I was wondering what you guys thought?
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
Sometimes, when you do begin to confront a problem you've been avoiding dealing with, the memories do become more insistent and painful. After all, it's something you've been stuffing down inside for a long time. Once you start to become ready to deal with it, it's going to want out. That's when it's really useful to have a therapist aware of exactly what's going on and how you're feeling when trying to cope with the returning memories.

Something that might help you when these old bugaboo memories surface at night is to have some form of comfort available to you. Music sometimes works, or a favorite sweater, or blanket, or food...just something that you can take comfort from. A friend of mine, who was having trouble dealing with returning memories of her father's violent death, found that blowing bubbles with bubblegum helped her through some of the hard times when she couldn't contact her therapist for guidance.
 
Top Bottom