Am I a repressed guy?

[aneuryzma]

I'm 24 years old. I felt in depression 2 years ago and with the help of very good psychologist I succeeded and now I live better. However.. I still have some anomaly.
I live in a wonderful city, and I say to everybody I like it, but when they ask me if I?m happy to live here? I suddenly become very sad. I?m a cool guy, I have low self-esteem because I had a bad past. When I go out in the evenings many girls look at me but I don?t have the motivation to pick-up them. (I have to force myself). When I have sex, I don?t enjoy it.. rather I prefer to masturbate myself. (why ???). I study hard, but I really don?t care about what I study? everything is a job in my life. I don?t think i fully enjoy life.. Rather I live because I have to live. Suggestions ?

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

When I go out in the evenings many girls look at me but I don’t have the motivation to pick-up them. (I have to force myself). When I have sex, I don’t enjoy it.. rather I prefer to masturbate myself. (why ???).

Depression can certainly lower both libido and the desire to socialize (and desire in general).

… everything is a job in my life. I don’t think i fully enjoy life..

and such loss of interest and anhedonia is, of course, another symptom of depression.

Certainly, for treating depression, I would suggest going back to therapy, adding medication, and, regarding self-care, socializing more with friends/family and exercising more (if you aren't already).

 

[suewatters1]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

everything is a job in my life. I don?t think i fully enjoy life.. Rather I live because I have to live. Suggestions ?

I hear you I feel the same way. I live because I have to live. I don't fully enjoy life.

 

[ladylore]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

Welcome to Psychlinks.

 

[aneuryzma]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

Thanks

So, basically, after the big depression of 2 years I still have a "residual layer of depression" and what I have to do now is to build motivation, and trust in myself, right ?

If I work hard to build motivation, my depression will slowly disappear.. am I correct ?

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

So, basically, after the big depression of 2 years I still have a "residual layer of depression"

I agree that you are likely experiencing depression, though it may not have been as severe as it used to be. I wouldn't, however, necessarily call it residual, and only a psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist could determine that. And even with residual depression, relapse (or worsening of symptoms) can occur sooner than later.

and what I have to do now is to build motivation, and trust in myself, right ?

That sounds like self-help, which isn't nearly as effective as professional treatment, e.g. cognitive behavior therapy and antidepressants

Even if you weren't experiencing systems, going back to therapy would still be warranted as maintenance therapy to help prevent relapse.

And:

Residual Depression Symptoms Respond to Short-Term CBT

 

[Into The Light]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

welcome :wave4:

i agree with daniel, it may still be depression right now, although not as bad as it was before. seeing a therapist to treat it again would probably be a good idea.

 

[aneuryzma]

Re: Am I a repressed guy ?

Hi,

thanks for your reply.
I forgot to say that I'm shy person and I'm fighting my shy.. so that's why sometimes I don't enjoy to go out.

I notice my life is getting better month after month (I'm less shy, I grow up, and I'm more motivated).

Do you really think I should contact a therapist ? I feel like I should/can improve my life by myself now.

What can a therapist do for me now ?

Thanks,

 

[Daniel E.]

I feel like I should/can improve my life by myself now.

I wouldn't pose it that way. Even the stoics of ancient Greece and ancient Rome tried to help each other. I see therapy as accelerating change where you are doing most of the work. Also, I would see it as you taking control of the situation rather than let an internalized stigma against mental health treatment get in your way. (And even in the macho world of sports, psychologists are helping athletes become more focused and effective.) There's also the positive psychology approach that sees mental health improvements as being a way to be happier, not just curtailing negative feelings.

Do you really think I should contact a therapist ?

Yes, I certainly think you would benefit from at least a short course of therapy (and possibly medication) as what you are dealing with seems like a chronic issue given your previous diagnosis of depression. Though self-help methods are better than nothing (and a good book mentioned often in this forum is The Feeling Good Handbook), therapy can greatly accelerate your progress. Additionally, getting therapy sooner than later would be beneficial when it comes to predictable stressors like deadlines/midterms that can test anyone's motivation, not to mention worsen symptoms of depression.

What can a therapist do for me now ?

It depends on your individual situation, but here is some info about CBT, which is the most popular type of therapy:

CBT is NOT simply symptom management. Individuals suffering from disorders such as depression and the various manifestations of anxiety DO exhibit faulty and distorted patterns of thinking and self-talk and there is no longer any doubt that this contributes greatly to these disorders. Thus, addressing and altering those negative self-talk patterns should be an integral part of any treatment plan for most patients with these disorders.

In a total treatment plan, CBT is an excellent way of helping the patient acquire symptom or crisis management strategies. However, it is often the case that once that goal is reached, it may be necessary to use interpersonal therapies or other treatment approaches to address the underlying and more chronic issues.

2006 November | PsychLinks Blog

Some cognitive distortions that are common in depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues -- even shyness -- are mentioned in the thread below, which includes the following excerpt that I like:

"Hamlet is, essentially, a portrayal of a tortured, depressed young man who loses his way in the labyrinth of his negative thoughts."

Cognitive Distortions: Ten forms of twisted thinking

And an example of the cognitive distortion called catastrophizing is from an old video by one of the founders of CBT, Albert Ellis, as he treats a woman who is shy among men:

ALBERT ELLIS:

My hypothesis is...what you are afraid of is not just failing with this individual man...but that you will miss this one [guy] and therefore you will miss every other [guy] and therefore you will never be up to getting what you want, and wouldn't that be awful? You are bringing in these catastrophes.

...If you would really accept yourself as you are, and force yourself to open your big mouth and be you for awhile even though it may hurt...after a while, you would start swinging in the groove and would be focusing on "what I nice individual this [guy] is and how can I enjoy him..."

...If you are always trying to please him, you never have a self, and you never are yourself.

You can't spy on yourself and be yourself at the same time.

...instead, think: There must be some human beings who like me as I am. Let's see if this is one of those human beings.

paraphrased from: 3_approaches_to_psychotherapy_3_of_3_Albert_Ellis.mpg