quirkycanuck
Member
Hi Everyone. I've been having some problems lately and I have decided it's time that I look into how to do something about them before they spiral out of control.
Basically, I'm tense and angry a lot... and when I get there I have a hard time releasing that anger. Very small things will get me upset, and I can see in the eyes of my wife and children that they notice this too. This might have been going on for a long time and may just have to do with my inability to find ways to deal with stress... but it has to get better.
One of the big stressors for me is changes to my plans. Allow me to explain. I'm a person who gets confused very easily if I don't make a plan and do things in order. In the past 3 years, I've gone from being single to having 3 children (two are step-children) and a wife, buying a house and having a lot of social relationships I didn't have before. I think that was shell-shock I imposed on my own system and it might be part of the problem. Having children is an amazing thing and I love them all so much... but there are constant wrenches thrown in when I'm trying to get things done. For example, I'll be in the middle of making supper and someone wants a drive somewhere... two things that don't reconcile at all. Then I'll have someone wanting something else, the baby will start crying and here we go again.
This is normal in a family of 5... but for some reason it seems way too hard on me. All of these things, which I call inputs... are just taking a toll on me. I am constantly saying "Too many inputs here... everyone go play in the living room" and my 12-year old just looks at me like "What's an input?" But seriously... it seems like I can handle a lot less than everyone else around me... definitely less than my wife. She's been a mother many more years than I've been a father but she seems to have twice the patience I have.
I need to get out of this mentality and to get calmer. I find myself snapping a lot verbally at the kids. When I get really mad, I'll do a little door slamming routine and leave the house for awhile. The other day I even threw something (A plastic cooking utensil) across the room and broke it. All the kids were there in the room then... and that was just an eye opener for me. They don't need to see me act like that. I need to find a different way of reacting, and I need to get calmer somehow.
The problem really is lack of good psycho-therapists in my area and the financial aspect of going to see one. We live in a fairly small town. My insurance covers some minimal amount of psychotherapy but it's not a lot of money.
It really looks like I'm relegated to self-help and using online forums and resources to learn the things I need to learn.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me on resources, online or offline, which might be useful in getting the help I need.
Regards,
The Quirky Canuck
Basically, I'm tense and angry a lot... and when I get there I have a hard time releasing that anger. Very small things will get me upset, and I can see in the eyes of my wife and children that they notice this too. This might have been going on for a long time and may just have to do with my inability to find ways to deal with stress... but it has to get better.
One of the big stressors for me is changes to my plans. Allow me to explain. I'm a person who gets confused very easily if I don't make a plan and do things in order. In the past 3 years, I've gone from being single to having 3 children (two are step-children) and a wife, buying a house and having a lot of social relationships I didn't have before. I think that was shell-shock I imposed on my own system and it might be part of the problem. Having children is an amazing thing and I love them all so much... but there are constant wrenches thrown in when I'm trying to get things done. For example, I'll be in the middle of making supper and someone wants a drive somewhere... two things that don't reconcile at all. Then I'll have someone wanting something else, the baby will start crying and here we go again.
This is normal in a family of 5... but for some reason it seems way too hard on me. All of these things, which I call inputs... are just taking a toll on me. I am constantly saying "Too many inputs here... everyone go play in the living room" and my 12-year old just looks at me like "What's an input?" But seriously... it seems like I can handle a lot less than everyone else around me... definitely less than my wife. She's been a mother many more years than I've been a father but she seems to have twice the patience I have.
I need to get out of this mentality and to get calmer. I find myself snapping a lot verbally at the kids. When I get really mad, I'll do a little door slamming routine and leave the house for awhile. The other day I even threw something (A plastic cooking utensil) across the room and broke it. All the kids were there in the room then... and that was just an eye opener for me. They don't need to see me act like that. I need to find a different way of reacting, and I need to get calmer somehow.
The problem really is lack of good psycho-therapists in my area and the financial aspect of going to see one. We live in a fairly small town. My insurance covers some minimal amount of psychotherapy but it's not a lot of money.
It really looks like I'm relegated to self-help and using online forums and resources to learn the things I need to learn.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me on resources, online or offline, which might be useful in getting the help I need.
Regards,
The Quirky Canuck