David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Probably not, if that's the only symptom match.
- Thread starter David Baxter PhD
- Start date
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Probably not, if that's the only symptom match.
stargazer
Member
I used to do that a lot myself. I made sense to me, but to no one else around me. I was constantly being told that I made no sense, and I couldn't understand why. Nowadays, at least I make some sense, some of the time. It gets better.
stargazer
Member
I used to do that a lot myself. I made sense to me, but to no one else around me. I was constantly being told that I made no sense, and I couldn't understand why. Nowadays, at least I make some sense, some of the time. It gets better.
I'm aware when people aren't following me, it's mostly due to my quick thinking, and also due to my crazy 'tangential' (is that a word?!?!) thought processes! and a lot of the time even though I know I'm not necessarily being understood I need to talk my thoughts aloud in order to finish developing them and see where they take me...
I have to find some time to look schiz. up now to see what the other symptoms are. any quick links anyone could show me?
I have to find some time to look schiz. up now to see what the other symptoms are. any quick links anyone could show me?
I'm aware when people aren't following me, it's mostly due to my quick thinking, and also due to my crazy 'tangential' (is that a word?!?!) thought processes! and a lot of the time even though I know I'm not necessarily being understood I need to talk my thoughts aloud in order to finish developing them and see where they take me...
I have to find some time to look schiz. up now to see what the other symptoms are. any quick links anyone could show me?
I have to find some time to look schiz. up now to see what the other symptoms are. any quick links anyone could show me?
stargazer
Member
Although I'm only a lay person, it sounds more "manic" than "schiz" to me, and I think Dr. Baxter might agree & elaborate.
I can relate to both of these experiences:
(1) talking so fast that it is hard for others to follow, despite the coherence of the thoughts being expressed verbally;
& (2) having such a large amount of complex thoughts in such a short period of time that an unusual number of "tangents" emerge while trying to articulate the thoughts, in an effort to ensure that no thought goes unexpressed. (This effort often fails, and one comes across as incoherent.)
On another level, I think we need to be aware that our "need" to express these thoughts might be a personal need that conflicts with the needs those who are listening. At worst, it seems as though we think our thoughts are more important than the thoughts of the listener. Sometimes, in fact, we simply don't listen. (Or, at least I don't.)
Perhaps we ought to express these elaborate thoughts into a portable tape recorder and thus elude the judgment of the besieged listener?? We might also then discover how it is that we are coming across to the unsuspecting ear.
(Just a thought.) ;-)
I can relate to both of these experiences:
(1) talking so fast that it is hard for others to follow, despite the coherence of the thoughts being expressed verbally;
& (2) having such a large amount of complex thoughts in such a short period of time that an unusual number of "tangents" emerge while trying to articulate the thoughts, in an effort to ensure that no thought goes unexpressed. (This effort often fails, and one comes across as incoherent.)
On another level, I think we need to be aware that our "need" to express these thoughts might be a personal need that conflicts with the needs those who are listening. At worst, it seems as though we think our thoughts are more important than the thoughts of the listener. Sometimes, in fact, we simply don't listen. (Or, at least I don't.)
Perhaps we ought to express these elaborate thoughts into a portable tape recorder and thus elude the judgment of the besieged listener?? We might also then discover how it is that we are coming across to the unsuspecting ear.
(Just a thought.) ;-)
stargazer
Member
Although I'm only a lay person, it sounds more "manic" than "schiz" to me, and I think Dr. Baxter might agree & elaborate.
I can relate to both of these experiences:
(1) talking so fast that it is hard for others to follow, despite the coherence of the thoughts being expressed verbally;
& (2) having such a large amount of complex thoughts in such a short period of time that an unusual number of "tangents" emerge while trying to articulate the thoughts, in an effort to ensure that no thought goes unexpressed. (This effort often fails, and one comes across as incoherent.)
On another level, I think we need to be aware that our "need" to express these thoughts might be a personal need that conflicts with the needs those who are listening. At worst, it seems as though we think our thoughts are more important than the thoughts of the listener. Sometimes, in fact, we simply don't listen. (Or, at least I don't.)
Perhaps we ought to express these elaborate thoughts into a portable tape recorder and thus elude the judgment of the besieged listener?? We might also then discover how it is that we are coming across to the unsuspecting ear.
(Just a thought.) ;-)
I can relate to both of these experiences:
(1) talking so fast that it is hard for others to follow, despite the coherence of the thoughts being expressed verbally;
& (2) having such a large amount of complex thoughts in such a short period of time that an unusual number of "tangents" emerge while trying to articulate the thoughts, in an effort to ensure that no thought goes unexpressed. (This effort often fails, and one comes across as incoherent.)
On another level, I think we need to be aware that our "need" to express these thoughts might be a personal need that conflicts with the needs those who are listening. At worst, it seems as though we think our thoughts are more important than the thoughts of the listener. Sometimes, in fact, we simply don't listen. (Or, at least I don't.)
Perhaps we ought to express these elaborate thoughts into a portable tape recorder and thus elude the judgment of the besieged listener?? We might also then discover how it is that we are coming across to the unsuspecting ear.
(Just a thought.) ;-)
no. 2 is definitely me.
I very often judge every angle of every possibility with every possible consequence and it normally happens that all the thoughts are in my head but are totally overwhelming me until I can express them... (and even when I've expressed them, I suffer from clinical indecision -they should make that another mental illness!- and am left with myriad options and possible results in front of me, and clueless as to which way to turn...so it still overwhelms me.) (I know writing things down would be the best thing to do but it somehow never happens.)
But I put on a good enough act to the world as the happy carefree easy-going type and I don't talk like that to most people. Only to my good friends whom I can be completely open with. And no matter how much I'm bursting with uncertainty and confusion, I'm normally extremely perceptive of my listener and can judge when I can be tolerated and when not! Unless my close friends have been lying to me and find me a complete bore. Which I hope is not the case. No. I think I'm confident enough that it's not, coz I also make a good listener and I know when they enjoy our conversations. I also make them laugh a lot during my monologues...so they stay entertained. most of the time. whatever... enough thinking aloud...
And I like the term "besieged listener"! lol!!!
And having thought over your post again, no.1 is probably me too. occasionally.
I very often judge every angle of every possibility with every possible consequence and it normally happens that all the thoughts are in my head but are totally overwhelming me until I can express them... (and even when I've expressed them, I suffer from clinical indecision -they should make that another mental illness!- and am left with myriad options and possible results in front of me, and clueless as to which way to turn...so it still overwhelms me.) (I know writing things down would be the best thing to do but it somehow never happens.)
But I put on a good enough act to the world as the happy carefree easy-going type and I don't talk like that to most people. Only to my good friends whom I can be completely open with. And no matter how much I'm bursting with uncertainty and confusion, I'm normally extremely perceptive of my listener and can judge when I can be tolerated and when not! Unless my close friends have been lying to me and find me a complete bore. Which I hope is not the case. No. I think I'm confident enough that it's not, coz I also make a good listener and I know when they enjoy our conversations. I also make them laugh a lot during my monologues...so they stay entertained. most of the time. whatever... enough thinking aloud...
And I like the term "besieged listener"! lol!!!
And having thought over your post again, no.1 is probably me too. occasionally.
no. 2 is definitely me.
I very often judge every angle of every possibility with every possible consequence and it normally happens that all the thoughts are in my head but are totally overwhelming me until I can express them... (and even when I've expressed them, I suffer from clinical indecision -they should make that another mental illness!- and am left with myriad options and possible results in front of me, and clueless as to which way to turn...so it still overwhelms me.) (I know writing things down would be the best thing to do but it somehow never happens.)
But I put on a good enough act to the world as the happy carefree easy-going type and I don't talk like that to most people. Only to my good friends whom I can be completely open with. And no matter how much I'm bursting with uncertainty and confusion, I'm normally extremely perceptive of my listener and can judge when I can be tolerated and when not! Unless my close friends have been lying to me and find me a complete bore. Which I hope is not the case. No. I think I'm confident enough that it's not, coz I also make a good listener and I know when they enjoy our conversations. I also make them laugh a lot during my monologues...so they stay entertained. most of the time. whatever... enough thinking aloud...
And I like the term "besieged listener"! lol!!!
And having thought over your post again, no.1 is probably me too. occasionally.
I very often judge every angle of every possibility with every possible consequence and it normally happens that all the thoughts are in my head but are totally overwhelming me until I can express them... (and even when I've expressed them, I suffer from clinical indecision -they should make that another mental illness!- and am left with myriad options and possible results in front of me, and clueless as to which way to turn...so it still overwhelms me.) (I know writing things down would be the best thing to do but it somehow never happens.)
But I put on a good enough act to the world as the happy carefree easy-going type and I don't talk like that to most people. Only to my good friends whom I can be completely open with. And no matter how much I'm bursting with uncertainty and confusion, I'm normally extremely perceptive of my listener and can judge when I can be tolerated and when not! Unless my close friends have been lying to me and find me a complete bore. Which I hope is not the case. No. I think I'm confident enough that it's not, coz I also make a good listener and I know when they enjoy our conversations. I also make them laugh a lot during my monologues...so they stay entertained. most of the time. whatever... enough thinking aloud...
And I like the term "besieged listener"! lol!!!
And having thought over your post again, no.1 is probably me too. occasionally.
stargazer
Member
I also can relate to talking in more detailed and elaborate way when among my close friends, with whom I can be completely open. Because I can't be open with everyone, I "use" my friends in order to express things usually left unexpressed, and gain feedback from them accordingly. Like you, I put on a fairly good act when in the company of those whom I don't know as well. So most of my "mania" goes unnoticed. (Unless, of course, I am having an episode. In that event, my good friends will advise me of the evidence of the episode, which otherwise might go unnoticed and untreated. Such is the nature of mania.)
I speak only for myself, of course.
I speak only for myself, of course.
stargazer
Member
I also can relate to talking in more detailed and elaborate way when among my close friends, with whom I can be completely open. Because I can't be open with everyone, I "use" my friends in order to express things usually left unexpressed, and gain feedback from them accordingly. Like you, I put on a fairly good act when in the company of those whom I don't know as well. So most of my "mania" goes unnoticed. (Unless, of course, I am having an episode. In that event, my good friends will advise me of the evidence of the episode, which otherwise might go unnoticed and untreated. Such is the nature of mania.)
I speak only for myself, of course.
I speak only for myself, of course.
I'm a bit scared now to look into "manias" now.
But Stargazer, it sounds like we have a lot in common.
Although one thing about me is that I'm very very controlled, and no matter how I'm feeling I very often just switch modes when the situation demands it (which is very often the situation) and I totally forget from one minute to the next how I was.
eg and this is a really typical example, I have major argument with my spouse, I think for the thousandth time that I'm wasting my life with him, I should be getting divorced, I feel complete despair at anything possibly improving, and then someone phones to do with, say, an urgent business matter. I'll completely switch modes, and deal with them, joke if necessary and very often completely forget how depressed I was feeling just a minute ago. And I think I've become that way coz of my horrible teenage years where I constantly switched instantly from being sullen, bitter, repressed and plain miserable at home, to bright, bubbly, confident, and happy when with my friends in school.
Anyway, the point here was that I control myself completely, so I'm not really given to 'episodes'.
and I should I confess my control is only there for other people, so that they shouldn't think badly of me. if it's just me at home with my spouse, and he's done s/th that infuriates me, my control goes completely out the window. also more recently with crying, sometimes I just can't stop the tears. altho I think it's healthy for me to cry these days since I didn't cry for so long when I really should have done and I had everything to cry for...
whatever... that's probably enough tangential thinking for now!
But Stargazer, it sounds like we have a lot in common.
Although one thing about me is that I'm very very controlled, and no matter how I'm feeling I very often just switch modes when the situation demands it (which is very often the situation) and I totally forget from one minute to the next how I was.
eg and this is a really typical example, I have major argument with my spouse, I think for the thousandth time that I'm wasting my life with him, I should be getting divorced, I feel complete despair at anything possibly improving, and then someone phones to do with, say, an urgent business matter. I'll completely switch modes, and deal with them, joke if necessary and very often completely forget how depressed I was feeling just a minute ago. And I think I've become that way coz of my horrible teenage years where I constantly switched instantly from being sullen, bitter, repressed and plain miserable at home, to bright, bubbly, confident, and happy when with my friends in school.
Anyway, the point here was that I control myself completely, so I'm not really given to 'episodes'.
and I should I confess my control is only there for other people, so that they shouldn't think badly of me. if it's just me at home with my spouse, and he's done s/th that infuriates me, my control goes completely out the window. also more recently with crying, sometimes I just can't stop the tears. altho I think it's healthy for me to cry these days since I didn't cry for so long when I really should have done and I had everything to cry for...
whatever... that's probably enough tangential thinking for now!
I'm a bit scared now to look into "manias" now.
But Stargazer, it sounds like we have a lot in common.
Although one thing about me is that I'm very very controlled, and no matter how I'm feeling I very often just switch modes when the situation demands it (which is very often the situation) and I totally forget from one minute to the next how I was.
eg and this is a really typical example, I have major argument with my spouse, I think for the thousandth time that I'm wasting my life with him, I should be getting divorced, I feel complete despair at anything possibly improving, and then someone phones to do with, say, an urgent business matter. I'll completely switch modes, and deal with them, joke if necessary and very often completely forget how depressed I was feeling just a minute ago. And I think I've become that way coz of my horrible teenage years where I constantly switched instantly from being sullen, bitter, repressed and plain miserable at home, to bright, bubbly, confident, and happy when with my friends in school.
Anyway, the point here was that I control myself completely, so I'm not really given to 'episodes'.
and I should I confess my control is only there for other people, so that they shouldn't think badly of me. if it's just me at home with my spouse, and he's done s/th that infuriates me, my control goes completely out the window. also more recently with crying, sometimes I just can't stop the tears. altho I think it's healthy for me to cry these days since I didn't cry for so long when I really should have done and I had everything to cry for...
whatever... that's probably enough tangential thinking for now!
But Stargazer, it sounds like we have a lot in common.
Although one thing about me is that I'm very very controlled, and no matter how I'm feeling I very often just switch modes when the situation demands it (which is very often the situation) and I totally forget from one minute to the next how I was.
eg and this is a really typical example, I have major argument with my spouse, I think for the thousandth time that I'm wasting my life with him, I should be getting divorced, I feel complete despair at anything possibly improving, and then someone phones to do with, say, an urgent business matter. I'll completely switch modes, and deal with them, joke if necessary and very often completely forget how depressed I was feeling just a minute ago. And I think I've become that way coz of my horrible teenage years where I constantly switched instantly from being sullen, bitter, repressed and plain miserable at home, to bright, bubbly, confident, and happy when with my friends in school.
Anyway, the point here was that I control myself completely, so I'm not really given to 'episodes'.
and I should I confess my control is only there for other people, so that they shouldn't think badly of me. if it's just me at home with my spouse, and he's done s/th that infuriates me, my control goes completely out the window. also more recently with crying, sometimes I just can't stop the tears. altho I think it's healthy for me to cry these days since I didn't cry for so long when I really should have done and I had everything to cry for...
whatever... that's probably enough tangential thinking for now!
another difference though I've noticed is, there are a lot of people whom I know, and who know me. or who think they know me. I really have a definitive split with all my relationships. There are 2 types of people.
1. Those where I'm happy, confident and never talking about any of my real issues, altho sometimes they disclose their issues to me. They're the ones I don't trust enough to open up to, or I just think they're not complex enough to understand me so why bother... And that applies to most of my friends. And they don't really know how tormented a person I really am. They see my happy side, which normally starts out as an act, but very often ends up putting me in a better mood.
2. The very select few whom I am real with. and I can list them on one hand. only with them, can I just be myself and stop with the acting. so it's always a relief to speak to them.
and the truth is there is a third category where the people are the particularly discerning type, but for some reason or another I can't trust them enough to be me and reveal my deep dark secrets to them, so with them I'm wary and occasionally nervous and uncomfortable talking to them. thankfully they are few and far between.
1. Those where I'm happy, confident and never talking about any of my real issues, altho sometimes they disclose their issues to me. They're the ones I don't trust enough to open up to, or I just think they're not complex enough to understand me so why bother... And that applies to most of my friends. And they don't really know how tormented a person I really am. They see my happy side, which normally starts out as an act, but very often ends up putting me in a better mood.
2. The very select few whom I am real with. and I can list them on one hand. only with them, can I just be myself and stop with the acting. so it's always a relief to speak to them.
and the truth is there is a third category where the people are the particularly discerning type, but for some reason or another I can't trust them enough to be me and reveal my deep dark secrets to them, so with them I'm wary and occasionally nervous and uncomfortable talking to them. thankfully they are few and far between.
another difference though I've noticed is, there are a lot of people whom I know, and who know me. or who think they know me. I really have a definitive split with all my relationships. There are 2 types of people.
1. Those where I'm happy, confident and never talking about any of my real issues, altho sometimes they disclose their issues to me. They're the ones I don't trust enough to open up to, or I just think they're not complex enough to understand me so why bother... And that applies to most of my friends. And they don't really know how tormented a person I really am. They see my happy side, which normally starts out as an act, but very often ends up putting me in a better mood.
2. The very select few whom I am real with. and I can list them on one hand. only with them, can I just be myself and stop with the acting. so it's always a relief to speak to them.
and the truth is there is a third category where the people are the particularly discerning type, but for some reason or another I can't trust them enough to be me and reveal my deep dark secrets to them, so with them I'm wary and occasionally nervous and uncomfortable talking to them. thankfully they are few and far between.
1. Those where I'm happy, confident and never talking about any of my real issues, altho sometimes they disclose their issues to me. They're the ones I don't trust enough to open up to, or I just think they're not complex enough to understand me so why bother... And that applies to most of my friends. And they don't really know how tormented a person I really am. They see my happy side, which normally starts out as an act, but very often ends up putting me in a better mood.
2. The very select few whom I am real with. and I can list them on one hand. only with them, can I just be myself and stop with the acting. so it's always a relief to speak to them.
and the truth is there is a third category where the people are the particularly discerning type, but for some reason or another I can't trust them enough to be me and reveal my deep dark secrets to them, so with them I'm wary and occasionally nervous and uncomfortable talking to them. thankfully they are few and far between.
stargazer
Member
That third type of person is the type that scares me a little bit, because I never know what there going to do with the information they've discerned so unusually well. I know the type you mean, and I also feel uncomfortable around them.
I also identify with the "mode-switching." I'm the same way, and I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in fact. It somewhat concerns me, because it suggests that I don't know my real center, my real feeling, or my real position. It's odd that I can switch modes, or even moods, so rapidly, and so well.
But in another way, that mode-switching can be a good thing, in that one does not carry the effect of a certain event to the next event, so as to relate in a fresh and new way to the new event. I think this is a healthy kind of "compartmentalizing." Also, it is akin to the teachings of certain Eastern philosophies, in that it involves "being in the moment," and not reacting according to a past to which one has not yet let go, nor to an expectation of an unknown future.
I've only had a single manic episode in my entire life. It was about a year and a half ago, but it lasted a good six weeks or more. I'm not sure what to make of it myself. Dr. Baxter and others on this board are aware of this, and I've composed many posts concerning it. Part of why I'm here is to try and figure it all out, or at least come to terms with it.
Despite my alleged mania, I will probably always be a highly charged and driven person. That's just my nature. It seems best for me to accept it, and then try to channel it wisely.
I also identify with the "mode-switching." I'm the same way, and I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in fact. It somewhat concerns me, because it suggests that I don't know my real center, my real feeling, or my real position. It's odd that I can switch modes, or even moods, so rapidly, and so well.
But in another way, that mode-switching can be a good thing, in that one does not carry the effect of a certain event to the next event, so as to relate in a fresh and new way to the new event. I think this is a healthy kind of "compartmentalizing." Also, it is akin to the teachings of certain Eastern philosophies, in that it involves "being in the moment," and not reacting according to a past to which one has not yet let go, nor to an expectation of an unknown future.
I've only had a single manic episode in my entire life. It was about a year and a half ago, but it lasted a good six weeks or more. I'm not sure what to make of it myself. Dr. Baxter and others on this board are aware of this, and I've composed many posts concerning it. Part of why I'm here is to try and figure it all out, or at least come to terms with it.
Despite my alleged mania, I will probably always be a highly charged and driven person. That's just my nature. It seems best for me to accept it, and then try to channel it wisely.
stargazer
Member
That third type of person is the type that scares me a little bit, because I never know what there going to do with the information they've discerned so unusually well. I know the type you mean, and I also feel uncomfortable around them.
I also identify with the "mode-switching." I'm the same way, and I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in fact. It somewhat concerns me, because it suggests that I don't know my real center, my real feeling, or my real position. It's odd that I can switch modes, or even moods, so rapidly, and so well.
But in another way, that mode-switching can be a good thing, in that one does not carry the effect of a certain event to the next event, so as to relate in a fresh and new way to the new event. I think this is a healthy kind of "compartmentalizing." Also, it is akin to the teachings of certain Eastern philosophies, in that it involves "being in the moment," and not reacting according to a past to which one has not yet let go, nor to an expectation of an unknown future.
I've only had a single manic episode in my entire life. It was about a year and a half ago, but it lasted a good six weeks or more. I'm not sure what to make of it myself. Dr. Baxter and others on this board are aware of this, and I've composed many posts concerning it. Part of why I'm here is to try and figure it all out, or at least come to terms with it.
Despite my alleged mania, I will probably always be a highly charged and driven person. That's just my nature. It seems best for me to accept it, and then try to channel it wisely.
I also identify with the "mode-switching." I'm the same way, and I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in fact. It somewhat concerns me, because it suggests that I don't know my real center, my real feeling, or my real position. It's odd that I can switch modes, or even moods, so rapidly, and so well.
But in another way, that mode-switching can be a good thing, in that one does not carry the effect of a certain event to the next event, so as to relate in a fresh and new way to the new event. I think this is a healthy kind of "compartmentalizing." Also, it is akin to the teachings of certain Eastern philosophies, in that it involves "being in the moment," and not reacting according to a past to which one has not yet let go, nor to an expectation of an unknown future.
I've only had a single manic episode in my entire life. It was about a year and a half ago, but it lasted a good six weeks or more. I'm not sure what to make of it myself. Dr. Baxter and others on this board are aware of this, and I've composed many posts concerning it. Part of why I'm here is to try and figure it all out, or at least come to terms with it.
Despite my alleged mania, I will probably always be a highly charged and driven person. That's just my nature. It seems best for me to accept it, and then try to channel it wisely.
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