Are You “Terminally Unique”?
December 11, 2018I hope not.
Let me explain.
I believe we are all unique in our own way, whether it’s our interests and hobbies, the music we listen to, the way we dress and style our hair, etc., and I fully support individuality - it’s the spice to life that often keeps things interesting. Often times, when someone is described as being unique it can be a compliment. But being terminally unique is very different - it is not a compliment whatsoever.
Terminal uniqueness is a phrase that originates from the 12-Step arena (Alcoholics Anonymous, etc). It is the belief that someone’s situation/illness is unlike anything faced by anyone else…ever - in this way, an individual believes that his/her situation is so unique to the point that he/she cannot be “lumped in” with everyone else with the same diagnosable condition. Unfortunately, sometimes this includes believing that treatment won’t work for you. The word “terminal” is used, because in the world of substance abuse/dependency/addictions, this type of thinking often gets people killed. In the world of mental illness, this could be actual death (hopelessness and ultimately suicide), or at the very least, an existence with significantly more pain and suffering than is actually necessary.
I wish this was a rare phenomenon; however, over the years, I have met many people who felt that their OCD, depression, etc. was so different or so much more severe than anyone else, that they felt treatment was not going to work for them - spending time and energy trying to convince others around them (myself included) that their condition was unique beyond help…If they were to funnel that same time and energy into treatment itself, very often, success and progress can be the result.
Not only is someone who deems themselves terminally unique less likely to seek treatment or actively engage in it even if they are actually in treatment, but they are also less likely to seek the support of those around them (family, friends, etc.), including others with the same condition, because even people with the same diagnosis “are nothing like me”.
If you think you might possibly be terminally unique, remember this:
- You are NOT so different that no one could possibly understand the pain and difficulties that you live with; you might have a relatively unique set of life circumstances, but your issues are more common than you could imagine.
- You are NOT beyond help. However, if you isolate, you avoid help, and you don’t engage, then you will likely ensure a negative outcome. That’s not proof that you were correct to begin with - that’s just the end result of you successfully orchestrating your own failure.
