Ok I'm new to this so it's kinda weird for me but someone I know told me to try this out...umm I have had so many issues lately and in the past two if thn being indigenous depression and also insomnia ...my house wasn't great growing up...I ha a very disfunstional loving family....my parents care abou me and my brothers but my mom thinks in out to get her (her words) and all I want to ever do is make her mad or disappionted....
my father is cold hard calculating never told me he so much as liked me he tells me he loves me but I never see or sense any conviction just frustration and anytime he and I have ever had a long conversation it's was him telling me how disappionted I am To him and how imma end up doing drugs and being a drunk....my mom has taken me and shoved me on the stairs and screamed in my face because she though I stole money from her purse but that fact was I had just woken up...well that some of the past now fast foward to 2012 Im in school and I wanted my girlfriend to come to school with me and she wanted to as well and this cause such an issue with my parents they hated it told me I would cut off and they wouldn't help me at all and how I'm going to ruin my life...
well it got to the point where my girlfriend almost didn't come and I fell into a huge depression because my parents wouldn't talk to me....they called her a whore, a slut, said she is going to get pregnant and I'm going drop out of school and ruin our lives, and they took the money for my college away from me and also the money in my bank account left over from working summer jobs....
I didn't know what to do so I told my gf not to come to stay and just stay away from me cuz it wasn't going to work like this...she didn't listen (thank god) and she came and has been helping me out...there has been many things that they have done to me that have just been all most too much....I do see from there side though...I see how I hurt them and I apologize and try to make it work but they just seem to want to continue to fight...the stress depression and anxiety this has caused has been effecting my school work to the point that I am in danger if losing my financial aid and that was the only thing keeping me in school right now I don't have a car or a license I really have nothing...my parents wanted to give me a monthly allowance for the summer and when I said 100$ a month is what I would need from them (knowing I won't get any more) my dad said that my prepossessing was rediculious and never gave me money...
I'm on campus during the summer and they dont have the caffateria open so I need to buy my own food but I has no money and just started a job and won't get paid for another week...if my girlfriend hadn't come I wouldn't be eating right now...she had money for food and have been making dinner for us everynignt since the semester ended.....
I've been told by a therapist that u have an IQ of 192 And that my mind is extremely creative and I can process multiple thing at one time and that I could do whatever I wanted because of these things....but lately I feel like he lied or got my tests mixed up with someone else because I needed to get a 2.0 and I couldn't even do that dispite I tried as hard as I could to do so....people have told me I am extremely intelligent but again I think someone got something wrong because if I was everything people have said I would be able to deal with all this and vice things with my parents...
I have two younger brother one is 8 and the boy will swear to you up and down, and will fight you if say he is wrong, that I am a superhero and I can do anything.....I use to feel like that...I use to feel like I was the superhero he thought me to be...that I was "Iron Man" as he says....but with everything going on i don't feel that way....I don't know if I ever will....
I don't feel I will be able to make anyone proud anymore becaus do might get kicked outta schoo with no money and no where to go....I have a choice to go to georgia and live there with my gf but if I do I have to sign up as a new freshmen and start over...also it's near her family and my parents hate them a lot and if I go they won't let me see my brothers and the worst parts happen all over again....and even my other brother will hate me he grew up with all the same problems I did but my parents treat him like he is the savior of our family name...because to them I have soiled it.... I love him he is smart funny fast strong and an amazing soccer player....he is kind and everything I never turned out to be which is great....but not being around has made him hate me...
my parents call him by my name when they get mad or he does something bad and say things like " you want to end up failin like ur brother?"....my brother thinks I'm a drug addict, drunk, and a sex fiend but the fact is Im not....things are getting better but if I leave to go to Georgia I will lose him again and if I go home idk what will happen to me being in that house hold....
and if they don't take me in and I don't go bak imma be in the street with no where to go....
.idk what to do school in georgia is cheaper but my brothers mean to much to me to lose....
please if someone can help tell me sorry for the long post it's just a long story if you have any questions tell me and I can answer and if I didn't explain anything I can and will but uh yeh thanks for reading
my father is cold hard calculating never told me he so much as liked me he tells me he loves me but I never see or sense any conviction just frustration and anytime he and I have ever had a long conversation it's was him telling me how disappionted I am To him and how imma end up doing drugs and being a drunk....my mom has taken me and shoved me on the stairs and screamed in my face because she though I stole money from her purse but that fact was I had just woken up...well that some of the past now fast foward to 2012 Im in school and I wanted my girlfriend to come to school with me and she wanted to as well and this cause such an issue with my parents they hated it told me I would cut off and they wouldn't help me at all and how I'm going to ruin my life...
well it got to the point where my girlfriend almost didn't come and I fell into a huge depression because my parents wouldn't talk to me....they called her a whore, a slut, said she is going to get pregnant and I'm going drop out of school and ruin our lives, and they took the money for my college away from me and also the money in my bank account left over from working summer jobs....
I didn't know what to do so I told my gf not to come to stay and just stay away from me cuz it wasn't going to work like this...she didn't listen (thank god) and she came and has been helping me out...there has been many things that they have done to me that have just been all most too much....I do see from there side though...I see how I hurt them and I apologize and try to make it work but they just seem to want to continue to fight...the stress depression and anxiety this has caused has been effecting my school work to the point that I am in danger if losing my financial aid and that was the only thing keeping me in school right now I don't have a car or a license I really have nothing...my parents wanted to give me a monthly allowance for the summer and when I said 100$ a month is what I would need from them (knowing I won't get any more) my dad said that my prepossessing was rediculious and never gave me money...
I'm on campus during the summer and they dont have the caffateria open so I need to buy my own food but I has no money and just started a job and won't get paid for another week...if my girlfriend hadn't come I wouldn't be eating right now...she had money for food and have been making dinner for us everynignt since the semester ended.....
I've been told by a therapist that u have an IQ of 192 And that my mind is extremely creative and I can process multiple thing at one time and that I could do whatever I wanted because of these things....but lately I feel like he lied or got my tests mixed up with someone else because I needed to get a 2.0 and I couldn't even do that dispite I tried as hard as I could to do so....people have told me I am extremely intelligent but again I think someone got something wrong because if I was everything people have said I would be able to deal with all this and vice things with my parents...
I have two younger brother one is 8 and the boy will swear to you up and down, and will fight you if say he is wrong, that I am a superhero and I can do anything.....I use to feel like that...I use to feel like I was the superhero he thought me to be...that I was "Iron Man" as he says....but with everything going on i don't feel that way....I don't know if I ever will....
I don't feel I will be able to make anyone proud anymore becaus do might get kicked outta schoo with no money and no where to go....I have a choice to go to georgia and live there with my gf but if I do I have to sign up as a new freshmen and start over...also it's near her family and my parents hate them a lot and if I go they won't let me see my brothers and the worst parts happen all over again....and even my other brother will hate me he grew up with all the same problems I did but my parents treat him like he is the savior of our family name...because to them I have soiled it.... I love him he is smart funny fast strong and an amazing soccer player....he is kind and everything I never turned out to be which is great....but not being around has made him hate me...
my parents call him by my name when they get mad or he does something bad and say things like " you want to end up failin like ur brother?"....my brother thinks I'm a drug addict, drunk, and a sex fiend but the fact is Im not....things are getting better but if I leave to go to Georgia I will lose him again and if I go home idk what will happen to me being in that house hold....
and if they don't take me in and I don't go bak imma be in the street with no where to go....
.idk what to do school in georgia is cheaper but my brothers mean to much to me to lose....
please if someone can help tell me sorry for the long post it's just a long story if you have any questions tell me and I can answer and if I didn't explain anything I can and will but uh yeh thanks for reading
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