its only just recently ocured to me that the reason i have lots of friends but no close friends is because i subconsciously planned it that way!!? ill be mid conversation and something inside makes me end the conversation quickly and get away! like im afraid that if we get too close then it will be painfull like it was when i head to leave all my friends over and over again when i was younger. or that we might end up having the sort of relationship that my family has, which is not good! I think these two posible options of how a relationship will work out at perminently in the back of my mind and it makes me avoid getting to close to anyone. am i destin to always have lots of distant friends?