BOO!!!

[moomoo]

My littlest girl has just started a new 'game'

She either sneaks up behind people or she hides somewhere and waits for the 'victim' to come past so she can frighten them with a loud explosive "BOO!!!"

I've had just about enough of this 'game' - for me I think it is quite an aggressive and antisocial thing to start doing.

I've told her off about it now, but I wonder where on earth she gets these behaviours from?

Possibly school... so many naughty kids go to her school.

But I would be interested to know if you guys had similar behaviours from your kids and if you find it to be a problem.

Trying to frighten people is antisocial isn't it???

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Not for a young child. Games (or movies, etc.) that are frightening either to her or perhaps especially to another person help her to deal with her own fears.

How old is she?

 

[moomoo]

She has just turned 7.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I think that's pretty normal for a 7 year old.

 

[moomoo]

Oh, now I feel guilty for telling her it's mean to try and scare people

 

[braveheart]

Well, I told a 8 year old off at work [she's a regular there, I work in a library] the other day for doing the exact same thing. She was doing it to staff. She hadn't done it to me, but just having someone around in there doing that was setting my anxiety off. I have an acute startle response as a result of PTSD, and any more of her behaviour like that and you'd have had to scrape me off the ceiling!
I wouldn't feel guilty. Although it's pretty normal behaviour for a child, as I see it there is a point where they need to see that what they do can have an effect on others. Maybe you also have a sensitive startle response. I also know that for me, the bullying I've been through can make things like that feel more mean and nasty than it might to others who might experience it as playful.
Maybe explain to her that what she's doing isn't wrong as such, but can upset people, and she needs to know when to stop.

 

[Into The Light]

i think it's perfectly alright to tell her that it scares people and really isn't very pleasant. it might be a different story with other children if they enjoy that game, but i don't think there are many adults who like it.

you may want to go back to her and tell her you didn't mean to say that she was being mean, because after all it was just a game to her. but you can explain that it really bothered you and that it's not something adults like very much. i think that will take away you feeling badly about it but also to let her know that even though you didn't like it it doesn't mean that she's a mean kid.