Hi,
I'm on here posting to seek advice. I'm open to anything/anyone/any ideas - as long as they're intended to help.
For the past 5 years, I've experimented with a myriad of drugs (psychoactive substances excluding caffeine & nicotine). I started drinking at age 18 (late bloomer according to my peers). I always thought 10 beers a night was average. Then, I got high off marijuana for the first time at 19. I thought, "Wow! Such a little amount of something can affect something so big (the human body) so much! What does other stuff do?" I got interested in other drugs like shrooms. Then over the years I tried cocaine and acid. I liked pills too - painkillers, muscle relaxers. I tried a bunch of legal alternatives.
I was very interested in drugs - not just getting messed up. I like reading about their chemical makeup and how they affected the mind and also the spiritual uses of certain drugs. However, this interest turned into some sort of addiction for me. My problem is - when I get bored, my mind immediately turns to drugs. No drug in specific, but when I get bored I just think of what I have access to... If there is something around, I typically won't wait till the "right" time to take it is. I will just down it. Before, say if shrooms were around, I could wait till the weekend. Now, Ill eat them at night before class/work. This isn't me. I always used to believe in willpower. It's gone...
I guess my post is asking how I can get it back... I've gone to 2 AA meetings (once I start drinking, I can't stop) and I'm seeing a psychologist. I'm looking to go to some NA meetings. Currently, I have a prescription to Lorazepam - so I take it in place of any other drugs. But, this is just a crutch.
Are there legal alternatives that can ween me off my "drug addiction" and "drug thoughts" for when I get bored? Something that's okay to take every day in place of narcotics that will get my mind off them? I'm on Prozac 10mg- maybe I should up the dose but will that get my mind off drugs during boredom (my #1 enemy)? I know I should find more things to do but when Im tired (say from a long run) theres not much hope in me getting around to a bunch of paperwork I have to do (maybe Im lazy?) Any and all helpful responses or comments are welcomed and appreciated. If any further clarification is needed, please let me know and I'll do my best.
I'm on here posting to seek advice. I'm open to anything/anyone/any ideas - as long as they're intended to help.
For the past 5 years, I've experimented with a myriad of drugs (psychoactive substances excluding caffeine & nicotine). I started drinking at age 18 (late bloomer according to my peers). I always thought 10 beers a night was average. Then, I got high off marijuana for the first time at 19. I thought, "Wow! Such a little amount of something can affect something so big (the human body) so much! What does other stuff do?" I got interested in other drugs like shrooms. Then over the years I tried cocaine and acid. I liked pills too - painkillers, muscle relaxers. I tried a bunch of legal alternatives.
I was very interested in drugs - not just getting messed up. I like reading about their chemical makeup and how they affected the mind and also the spiritual uses of certain drugs. However, this interest turned into some sort of addiction for me. My problem is - when I get bored, my mind immediately turns to drugs. No drug in specific, but when I get bored I just think of what I have access to... If there is something around, I typically won't wait till the "right" time to take it is. I will just down it. Before, say if shrooms were around, I could wait till the weekend. Now, Ill eat them at night before class/work. This isn't me. I always used to believe in willpower. It's gone...
I guess my post is asking how I can get it back... I've gone to 2 AA meetings (once I start drinking, I can't stop) and I'm seeing a psychologist. I'm looking to go to some NA meetings. Currently, I have a prescription to Lorazepam - so I take it in place of any other drugs. But, this is just a crutch.
Are there legal alternatives that can ween me off my "drug addiction" and "drug thoughts" for when I get bored? Something that's okay to take every day in place of narcotics that will get my mind off them? I'm on Prozac 10mg- maybe I should up the dose but will that get my mind off drugs during boredom (my #1 enemy)? I know I should find more things to do but when Im tired (say from a long run) theres not much hope in me getting around to a bunch of paperwork I have to do (maybe Im lazy?) Any and all helpful responses or comments are welcomed and appreciated. If any further clarification is needed, please let me know and I'll do my best.
