Hello Everyone,
I feel kinda crappy so I thought I'd share. My boyfriend is tricky. Has intimacy and anger issues. Problem is, I always seem to be failing him and I get caught up in his issues. For example, last night we went out and had a wonderful tiem at dinner. We went out for drinks after....too many by my count. At the bar, he was speaking aggressively to a couple who were from England because, I guess, the guy was somehow leaning on him physically. He was complaining about their accent and .... actually, I'm not sure what else because I started talking to the guy next to me about whatever. I heard my boyfriend calling me and telling me that it was time to leave, so I got up with him. Then, somehow, on our way out I ended up talking for a few minutes to the woman in the couple that my boyfriend had been heckling or whatever. My boyfriend left the bar. When I met him outside, he was livid. Apparently he had gotten into a fight with them and was exiting. He said he was humiliated by my staying to chat with the woman. All this was completely lost on me. He yelled at me the whole way home, telling me that all I had confided in him that night was bullshit, and that I humiliated him, and when I said that I had no idea what was going on, he told me I should have been more aware. He ended the night yelling about how he had really liked me but that I had let him down. As I was leaving he was ranting that he was going to spend the rest of his life alone, that he didn't have any friends, only acquaintances. I was crying by the time I left him. I told him that in pushing me away he was choosing anger over love.
Should I have been more aware and in tune with what was going on at the bar?
Is he pushing me away because he doesn't want to stay with me and he's using this as an exit?
Should I tell him to go to hell the next time I talk to him? Or should I embrace him?
Thanks for being there,
Blueblue
I feel kinda crappy so I thought I'd share. My boyfriend is tricky. Has intimacy and anger issues. Problem is, I always seem to be failing him and I get caught up in his issues. For example, last night we went out and had a wonderful tiem at dinner. We went out for drinks after....too many by my count. At the bar, he was speaking aggressively to a couple who were from England because, I guess, the guy was somehow leaning on him physically. He was complaining about their accent and .... actually, I'm not sure what else because I started talking to the guy next to me about whatever. I heard my boyfriend calling me and telling me that it was time to leave, so I got up with him. Then, somehow, on our way out I ended up talking for a few minutes to the woman in the couple that my boyfriend had been heckling or whatever. My boyfriend left the bar. When I met him outside, he was livid. Apparently he had gotten into a fight with them and was exiting. He said he was humiliated by my staying to chat with the woman. All this was completely lost on me. He yelled at me the whole way home, telling me that all I had confided in him that night was bullshit, and that I humiliated him, and when I said that I had no idea what was going on, he told me I should have been more aware. He ended the night yelling about how he had really liked me but that I had let him down. As I was leaving he was ranting that he was going to spend the rest of his life alone, that he didn't have any friends, only acquaintances. I was crying by the time I left him. I told him that in pushing me away he was choosing anger over love.
Should I have been more aware and in tune with what was going on at the bar?
Is he pushing me away because he doesn't want to stay with me and he's using this as an exit?
Should I tell him to go to hell the next time I talk to him? Or should I embrace him?
Thanks for being there,
Blueblue
