More threads by Peanut


I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for building self confidence and/or coming across more self confident? I find I either have in the back of my head "what if I look anxious?" or "what if I look incompetent?" particularly at work, sometimes in front of large groups. Also I am small and my voice is small and that does not help. Lots of times people can't hear me and I don't command much authority. Any suggestions on how I can work on this?


I'm working a lot on this in therapy.
I'm another small person who's had a small voice for years [teaching was sooo not the job for me.] and is starting to find a voice. And some self belief.
I can't find words right now, but hope to come back to this.


Another thing I was told to "act as if" you had confidence and it would come across like you did.


Dr. Meg, Global Moderator, Practitioner
Hi Peanut :)

I have a similarish issue at the moment. I'm learning to sing and I'm constantly being told that I need to improve my volume (it's very irritating, I know, you have my sympathy!!). My teacher says you can do that by trying to direct your voice to a particular point up the back of the room - aim for the point, if that makes sense! Also, if you breathe deeply from your diaphragm and support the sound by pushing out with your rib and abdominal muscles, your voice can sound stronger (and the deep, slow breathing is good for anxiety, too!).

I think sunset's advice to act 'as if' is good, too. I give it a go every time I have to speak in public, and have found that it works well. Good luck :)
Do what you feel is the right thing, get a euphoric feeling from it and look forward tho the next time
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