Can't seem to fall asleep & constantly worrying bout it

[Denise]

I have been having difficulty falling asleep no matter how tired i am after a long day. It is starting to affect the way i am at work, other leisure activities, friends and family. Each time i feel so tired and sleepy at nite, i go to my room, turn off the lights and hope to get a good night's sleep. However, each time i lay my head on my pillow, it's like i hear a voice or have thoughts 'warring' with each other..one side telling me to let go and drift off, fall asleep, and the other side asking me over and over again 'why aren't i asleep yet'? I seem to be conscious each night bout when i'm gonna fall asleep...i know sleep happens naturally without thinking bout it, but these conscious thoughts come in automatically especially when i'm about to doze off. With this it takes me more than an hour to finally doze off unconsciously and i seem to fear sleep more these days as i don't want to continue being conscious in bed for too long...it can be such a torturous experience..sigh
I feel i'm going crazy as i can't seem to get rid of those thoughts or 'voices' in my head...am i going crazy? Does tht mean i have a mental disorder?

 

[Daniel E.]

...as i don't want to continue being conscious in bed for too long...it can be such a torturous experience.

From what I have read, it's not a good idea to stay in bed for more than 20 minutes or so if you can't fall asleep:

If you can't fall asleep within 20 minutes, get up and do something boring until you feel sleepy.

http://www.stanford.edu/~dement/howto.html

If you find that you get up in the middle of night and cannot get back to sleep within 15–20 minutes, then do not remain in the bed "trying hard" to sleep. Get out of bed. Leave the bedroom. Read, have a light snack, do some quiet activity, or take a bath. You will generally find that you can get back to sleep 20 minutes or so later. Do not perform challenging or engaging activity such as office work, housework, etc. Do not watch television.

http://www.umm.edu/sleep/sleep_hyg.html

Most insomnia is due to stress and/or poor sleep hygiene.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Another technique that is helpful in the type of sleep problem you describe is relaxation therapy... or meditation... various procedures that help you to focus your thoughts on peaceful images, body sensations, or "nothing", to displace the intrusive thoughts that are keeping you awake.

Some people find having the radio on "Sleep" with some low volume music helpful.

Other suggestions: start "winding down" earlier in the evning, slowing down yourself physically and mentally, no caffeine (coffe, tea, chocolate, soft drinks) later in the day, no activities that are mentally exciting, boring TV instead of a thriller, reading a magazine or something else that isn't engrossing while lying in bed...

 

[Banned]

I find warm milk with a bit of vanilla and sugar most helpful. Failing that, I head for the Nytol. I've also found keeping a regular schedule is very helpful. I know they all say that, but it made such a huge difference with my body. I go to bed at the same time every day, and get up at the same time every day, and I've never slept better.

 

[Suzette]

Hi Denise,

Would it help if you wrote your thoughts all down some time before you go to bed? Then perhaps they don't circle that much in your mind anymore.

Also the fear of not being able to sleep causes some stress, which makes you feel less sleepy etc.

I agree that you should avoid intense things later in the evening. When I have a telephone call later in the evening, I cannot sleep well since it is stressful to me. Reading in bed by the way, takes my mind off the things that happened during the day, that helps me a lot. Because the words keep going in the book and there is a story going on, you easily get distracted.

The best tip I got from my mother: focus on your body. If your thoughts keep spinning it is not as easy as it looks. Actually, it is hard to do then. But if you really try and focus on your breath and tummy for instance, it might be a good help.

Or keep a light on. Sometimes I am not aware I don't feel safe, then I switch a light on near my bedroom and I feel a lot more relaxed.

Tips from Suzette

 

[ThatLady]

Heh. Your situation reminds me of one I had years ago. I had trouble sleeping (stressful time in my life) and had heard that counting sheep could help. Soooo, I began to count sheep. Lo and behold, I slept. However, as luck would have it, somewhere (I don't remember where) I heard that you couldn't count the black sheep. Okay...now I have a problem. There hadn't been any black sheep until I heard you couldn't count them. Now...there were black sheep. I carefully avoided counting them. What shows up? Black and white sheep. Now, I'm up all night trying to figure out whether you count the black and white sheep as no sheep, or half a sheep....you get the idea.

Inability to sleep is normally caused by stress. I'd follow Dr. Baxter's suggestions and be sure you get enough exercise daily (but not near bedtime). Also, warm milk, as BG suggested, is an excellent sleep aid. If those things don't help, you might want to talk to your doctor about using a sleeping medication for a short period of time until you can get your sleeping habits organized.

 

[Mrs. King]

I tried that yoga technique, where you have to imagine your lungs slowly filling with air and then emptying. I visualised my lungs filling up with blue air, then going red as they emptied. This keeps the eyes fixed on an (albeit imaginary) place, which is apparently necessary when trying to drop off to sleep? When I was going through my separation, I was not sleeping at all till somebody told me this technique.

 

[Mrs. King]

Oh, and, obviously, if you are concentrating wholely on the thought of air in your lungs, you cannot be distracted by thoughts of unpaid gas bills; which ex you would like to neuter first, and so on, which prohibits sleep.

 

[Denise]

Thank you so much for your comments...haven't been in hear for a while now...was coping with insomnia since i last posted my message here...it got better for a few months, now it's back again to haunt me.
i'm almost not gettin sleep at all the past few weeks...and it's really killing me. Sleep to me now is a huge phobia, and each time i close my eyes, i start to get anxious and my mind feels like it's gonna explode! Wht shud i do? I'm losing hope here and afraid i'm going into a depression and my future doesn't look bright at all. Shud i see a psychiatrist or psychologist?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Start by seeing your doctor. There are several options for medication to help you sleep that will not make you feel groggy the next day.