I was just forcing myself to swallow a tablet, (a very very rare occasion for me) and I had a thought!
I recently discovered that I am a very anxious person. And I started connecting certain events in my life. Like: maybe I could never swallow a tablet - and I only can now, with tremendous difficulty - because of my anxiety! I know it's all in my mind... It's that I can't bear the thought of allowing something to slip down my throat unchewed! I know that people have told me that if you just put the tablet near the back of your tongue, and knock your head back when drinking - that you don't even FEEL it. Yet every time without fail it's a huge struggle for me to just let it pass, and I make it much worse by not putting it at the back of my tongue and I can't tilt my head back when swallowing (it's far too scary...), and so then I feel the tablet, and it feels like it gets stuck, and then I try and bring it back up etc and it's just one awful experience...
Maybe that's why as a little girl, I was the last child to actually let go of the side of the swimming pool and start swimming without any help. I also took forever until I could just jump into the pool like everyone else, instead of gingerly climbing down the steps.
I also tried wearing contact lenses at one point - and the optician really thought I was crazy -but as hard as I tried - I just could not put my finger in my eye. From his whole attitude it was clear that although he's very experienced - he'd never come across someone like me before... I was there for around 30 minutes, trying all that time to do it. He also tried doing it. He was getting really impatient. It was a disastrous and awful experience.
...
I seem to have severe difficulty - much more than average - when it comes to having foreign substances intruding into my body. Until now I just thought, "I'm just like that - very closed by nature, and closed literally in my physical body too..." But it just occured to me that all this could be triggered by my anxiety... ?
(I just thought of another case of not being able to bear a physical intrusion - this is one which I can't be too explicit about... ... !!! - but again, it took me about 2 years to relax and allow ...umm... the... intrusion to ... intrude...!)
Can anyone else here relate to that?
I recently discovered that I am a very anxious person. And I started connecting certain events in my life. Like: maybe I could never swallow a tablet - and I only can now, with tremendous difficulty - because of my anxiety! I know it's all in my mind... It's that I can't bear the thought of allowing something to slip down my throat unchewed! I know that people have told me that if you just put the tablet near the back of your tongue, and knock your head back when drinking - that you don't even FEEL it. Yet every time without fail it's a huge struggle for me to just let it pass, and I make it much worse by not putting it at the back of my tongue and I can't tilt my head back when swallowing (it's far too scary...), and so then I feel the tablet, and it feels like it gets stuck, and then I try and bring it back up etc and it's just one awful experience...
Maybe that's why as a little girl, I was the last child to actually let go of the side of the swimming pool and start swimming without any help. I also took forever until I could just jump into the pool like everyone else, instead of gingerly climbing down the steps.
I also tried wearing contact lenses at one point - and the optician really thought I was crazy -but as hard as I tried - I just could not put my finger in my eye. From his whole attitude it was clear that although he's very experienced - he'd never come across someone like me before... I was there for around 30 minutes, trying all that time to do it. He also tried doing it. He was getting really impatient. It was a disastrous and awful experience.
...
I seem to have severe difficulty - much more than average - when it comes to having foreign substances intruding into my body. Until now I just thought, "I'm just like that - very closed by nature, and closed literally in my physical body too..." But it just occured to me that all this could be triggered by my anxiety... ?
(I just thought of another case of not being able to bear a physical intrusion - this is one which I can't be too explicit about... ... !!! - but again, it took me about 2 years to relax and allow ...umm... the... intrusion to ... intrude...!)
Can anyone else here relate to that?