Child had her say

[forgetmenot]

Just came from Psychologist appointment where I told what i had to. It is over Ihave no more memories. This child has had her say inside me now it should end. I am exhausted i became agitated a bit. I decided to keep busy distraction skills. Fought back some emotions made supper now i need to sleep. How can just talking about something that happened years ago evoke such fatigue. I don't care about my past really i was no one back then. I have changed and it doesn't matter anymore . I let her have her say now I hope i can rest finally. I don't know if i did the right thing telling but it is too late now i did. Now it is time to leave it be mary

 

[Jazzey]

You did do the right thing in telling your psychologist. Although, I suspect that he already had a suspicion that this was in your past.

Now you can really work on your recovery Mary...You've done a good job here. :2thumbs: I hope that you will be able to get some good rest tonight.

 

[forgetmenot]

I told Jazzey iwas never to tell I am so tired but then you know how it is. God i know you say it the right thing but i feel sick now and somewhat afraid. I fighting these dam tears because i won't let them win Jazzey any of them. They are the no ones not me i need this to end now. Okay this is enough for me The child has to go away she told now she can be quiet for awhile okay iam tired now Don't want anyone around me My husband and daughter gone for a drive Itold them im tired thats all. Good for her for telling now it ends okay bye mary

 

[Jazzey]

I know how exhausting it is to tell these things Mary. I know that you're tired. But it does get better, it does get a little easier.

And it's ok for you to feel sick, tired and if you can let go of those tears, let them go.

Take care of yourself Mary. You did very well today. Give yourself that acknowledgement. You did what you needed to get better, to feel better. It just takes a little bit of time...:hug:

 

[Meg]

I agree with Jazzey, Mary. And tears aren't necessarily a bad thing... I would actually say that, by letting them out, you are not letting them win. My guess is that crying was not approved of 'back then'... but you don't have to live by those rules any more.

I hope you can have a good rest, too. :hug:

 

[forgetmenot]

Thanks i had some sleep just writing poetry now trying get thoughts straight in my head. Tears slowly come then go guess its alright as i have little control over that now they just come. I hope no more memories come now I hope that was last one. I wish i was stronger I thought i was My T ask questions i couldn't answer but now starting to understand. Too many thoughts in me now but its over I am not this child inside I am a person who is now able to see the pain in others not just physical but emotional and i treat people as a whole being. Actually i find treating their emotional well being helps to heal their physical well being faster. I guess something came out of all this i treat everyone with care and respect despite their background, their wealth, their addictions, whatever people just need respect and to know they are a somebody not a nothing mary