Chuck Norris
Mr. T steps up and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell.
Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell.
God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and says, "Your in my seat!!!"
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
- Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
- Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
- Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talking about.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
- Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
- He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
- Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting very angry. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.
- Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s butt halfway through the first chapter.
- The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted fourteen seconds.
- What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division.”
- Some kids pee their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in concrete.
Mr. T steps up and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell.
Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell.
God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and says, "Your in my seat!!!"
