• Quote of the Day
    "Worrying is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."
    Van Wilder, posted by Daniel

foghlaim

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friday nearly here, apt looming...? I've tried to remember what we talked about in last apt... and i haven't a clue about the most of it.? Even since then my mem seems to be worsening.. i have trouble remembering why i came up stairs or where i put "whatever"? ? is it possible that the medication is contributing to my bad enough mem?? ? i myself have my doubts but thought i'd ask anyway.
the only other side effects i am aware of is feeling sick, groggy and dizzy.. i know it is the meds on these and i just try and? ignore the symptoms.?( but at same time can't wait till these wear off.)? been told about 2 wks?? not sure i can stick it if any longer.. even thought already of not taking it.. stupid move i? know.? ?
I have a prob taking this and am trying to convince myself? that it's okay to.. right mental battle at times.? i've always had prob taking anything and i'm rarely "sick" so even a paracetamol would be taken only at extreme pain,(ie toothache).? ?How do i get over HAVING to take this.? ? i'm also worried about being addicted to them if on them for more than a cpl wks..?

how do tell my psych i can't remember most of the last apt?? ?
has anyone else had similar exp of "forgetting" most of a session? (if that's the right word)
I mean if i'm not going to be able to remember what i said or whatever, is there a point in going?

thanks
 

ThatLady

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Hang in there with the effort, hon. Those nasty side-effects usually wear off in a week or two. You've got to measure gain against loss, and you really need the medication right now. While it might be lousy to feel so sick, it's temporary and the help they'll give you is worth it. Really, it is. Also, addiction doesn't happen in a couple of weeks, and people who need medication don't become addicted to it. Your doctor is aware of addiction potentials and will make adjustments as needed.

I've had the experience of forgetting what went on during a session. It may well have something to do with becoming accustomed to the effects of the medication, as well. :)
 

foghlaim

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thanks TL:? i didn't start the med until day after the apt.. so i figured it couldn't be that, in fact i couldn't remember much on the same night,, thought i was washed out, and that i would rem following day..? i'm embarrassed to tell him tho..?
 

ThatLady

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Nothing to be embarrassed about, hon. If I remember right, my therapist didn't look particularly shocked that I hadn't a clue what we'd discussed the week before. I imagine it's a phenomenon they encounter with some regularity. I wouldn't worry much about it. You're embarking into new territory and touching on issues you haven't discussed in such an outright manner. It's not surprising that you might not remember everything you talked about. Heck, your mind has been avoiding these issues for some time now, I'd wager.
 

David Baxter

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Don't forget your therapist has an advantage over you: He has session notes. :)
 

foghlaim

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Morning!?
TL? you are right, there would be a lot of "issues" that i've avoided over the yrs, some i don't mind discussing but others,,, well.. in my mind it's a case of "don't go there". Thank you for telling me you have experienced this "phenomenon", you have helped me feel a little bit better about it.? ? ?

David:? Maybe i should ask him for his notes.. *s*? ?
 

foghlaim

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well i did'nt ask him for him notes *s*? but i did tell him i had forgotten most of previous? session, and that i felt\know my mem is getting worse.. he didn't sound surprised and reminded me of some of what we talked about.. as the session went on i remembered various sentences and said " i told you that already didn't i" and then asked him what his reply was.. ( i was getting frustrated\annoyed by my lack of mem,)? the meds may be a contributing factor so have been changed to night time, so that i don't feel so groggy, sick ect during the day.? hopefully things will improve over the next cpl of days.
also i hope my concentration level improves a lot!! it's disasterous(sp) at the moment.? My thoughts keep shifting from one thing to another,,? maybe this goes hand in hand with my mem, or the other way round.?? ?
does anyone get shocked or surprised that they said something and then followed it by saying i don't know where that came from?? like you are hearing yourself saying something but can't believe it's actually you saying it?

i just realised that i can rem a bit more (of todays apt), a lot is still missing, (it was 2hr session).? ?
sorry i think i am waffling again.? ?
one thing i noticed today was after i left.. i was so tired..Drained...even my body was aching..? i could have crawled into my bed there and then,,? even so i'm glad i went at least i think i am.. lol.? ?
 

foghlaim

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More Waffling!!? ?

"world war 3" in my head, while in a session. like for inst>> where did that come from, what the hell did i say that for,? answering it, then it's like there are 2 of u in your head argueing.? Depending on what was said, the associated feelings can be worse than the "fight".

This is happening a fair bit. and i'm finding it very difficult to keep myself? "out of my head" and? keep\regain? control \ focus.? ?(i'm over simplifying here, there are so many things happening all the same moment).? ?whatever about having no concentration at home(that's bad enuff!) i find it so frustrating when in apt because at times while the above is happening, the dr is talking to me and i don't know what he is saying so i have ask him to repeat what he said.?

(even writing this is taking a lot because my thoughts keep straying, i have to read and reread what i wrote to try remember what i wanted to say in 1st place!)?

(as i'm typing this) i am realising to some extent WHY i can't remember some\most of a session.? these wars have to be \ Are a part of the reason.?

thanks for the space ...
 

foghlaim

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sorry if my posts are sounding the same... i should have looked up and seen the similarities. another example of my lack of concentration or lack of mem.... now i feel totally stupid for posting the above.
 

David Baxter

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I didn't see it as duplication. I saw it as expanding on what you said in the first post.

Some of it, I think, it about trying to get to the point where you allow yourself to relax in your sessions - he's not there to judge or crticize but to help. The beauty of a therapy session is there IS no judgement - you can talk about anything, say anything without worrying about being judged, criticized, like or disliked, etc., and without having to worry about the therapist's feelings.
 

ThatLady

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I agree with David. I think a lot of what you're experiencing is related to anxiety and the inability to relax; especially, during these sessions. That's certainly not unusual at the beginnings of therapy. For us laymen, the therapist is another person (we see them sitting there, looking like everybody else), and we don't talk about these things to other people. It takes a while to get used to the idea that the therapist is a special kind of person; a person trained to help us sort out our problems and concerns and learn new coping methods to make our lives easier. They're not just some guy/gal we met on the street, or who lives next door.

I found, once I could relax in therapy and let myself realize that I was speaking with a professional for the purpose of making my life happier, and easier, things progressed beautifully. I think this will happen for you, too. :)
 

foghlaim

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and i can't seem to find anyone who has experienced it

it's been a while since i returned to this topic, in truth i forgot about it, (like so many other things lately). i starting thinking about the hospital a few mins ago, and remembered the phrase conversion disorder. So i had to find this again.

anyway in reference to the quote above, i'm wondering if it would do good to relay here, what actually happened, how it came about that this disorder was diagnosed. i may not be able to do yet\ right now, but the thought struck me anyway.

i hope i remember to come back to this page again. *s*

and i agree TL with both yourself and david, i find it very hard to relax with my therapist
we don't talk about these things to other people
. even tho he is a professional but one of these days i'll might take off my coat, when\if i do then i'll know i've reached that point where i'm starting to relax. also at this point in time it's a bit harder cause his office is causing me prob, space wise.
 

foghlaim

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What is conversion disorder?
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Mayo Clinic psychiatrist Daniel Hall-Flavin, M.D.,

Answer

Conversion disorder is a rare psychiatric illness in which emotional stress or conflict is expressed through physical symptoms, such as blindness or paralysis. Conversion disorder is a type of somatoform disorder, in which symptoms suggest a medical illness, yet no medical condition can be identified to explain the symptoms.
Some people may intentionally fake symptoms to avoid stressful situations. But this is not a conversion disorder. People with conversion disorder actually do experience the physical symptoms. Common signs of a conversion disorder include:
  • Sudden onset of physical symptoms
  • Recent history of a stressful experience
  • Inappropriate lack of concern over the physical symptoms
A doctor will likely perform a physical examination to rule out physical causes for the symptoms. Treatment is directed at resolving the underlying emotional conflict or stress in order to make the symptoms disappear. This may include:
  • Stress management counseling
  • Medication
  • Psychotherapy
 

foghlaim

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I hope it was okay to post the article above...

if not just take it down...

thanks.
 

ThatLady

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Seems like a good article to me, nsa. It's informative for those who know little about conversion disorder. :)
 

Halo

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NSA

Great article. I had no idea what conversion disorder was but I am pretty sure that I might know someone who has it so it was very informative for me.

Thanks for posting it. :)
 

just4U

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Know it's been awhile since you posted but, on the off chance you may be reading this thread anyway, allow me to make a suggestion that has worked for others that I know who had deep-seated 'hidden' and unacknowledged stressors from a fairly young age that were affecting their adult life.

They went to a psychiatrist who was also a highly trained hypnotherapist. Only then (after years of failure with other treatments) were they able to gradually uncover and explore these hidden factors in a safe, non-painful, way. By doing so they were eventually able to face them and disable their ability to influence their lives negatively.

It's not always easy to face the unpleasant but doing so in the capable hands of a highly trained psychiatrist/hypnotherapist, can make the process much, much easier. Be warned, tho: many psychiatrists do not practice hypnotherapy and many will even actively discourage it's use so be sure to find a qualified practitioner should you decide to go this route.

Wishing you a lasting recovery.

just4U
 

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