Heather
Member
Hey I dunno if you remember about the court and mediation thing with my ex-flat mate, but in case you do I thought that I would up date you on what happened.
Just briefly my ex-flat mate took me to court to put an AVO (Anti-Violence Order) on me and then it was taken out of court and we agreed to mediation?
Well firstly I was there early but typical Opal (my ex: flat mate ? the one who took me to court) was over half an hour late, I was annoyed but took care not to show it. When we finally got started she ended up talking all about a letter my mum wrote (requesting that Opal pay her back some money ? also mentioning a few other things). She also mentioned a night when my brother and sister went to her house and asked for the keys to my villa back (my brother lives there now). She mentioned other things but mostly she made herself look bad and me look good!
How is: she told them how she paid no bills and owed a lot of money, how her b/f threatened my siblings with a baseball bat, how she moved out and stuffed my work placement for uni and much much more that SHE did. Then when she brought up stuff my brother and mother did I said ?but that wasn?t me? and refused to talk about it and the Mediators agreed with me. I mean I can?t help what they do, they are both adults as well! Well Opal got angry and yelled at me a few times, she had to be asked to calm down, however I stayed calm the whole time. Then after establishing all the things I DIDN?T do the mediators asked her what I did do and guess what ? she had NO answer! It was established I had done nothing ? then one of the mediators asked Opal why she did this and she had poor reasons!
But the awful thing that happened was in the letter it mentioned when I was r*ped, well she was talking about it and it made me feel so sick and ashamed, I wanted to cry, but I took a deep breath and turned to the mediators and told them that I was still traumatised from the event and that I didn?t wish to speak about it. I almost vomited! Sigh! But they agreed and she had to stop talking about it.
Then we had individual time with the mediators and because Opal spoke first I got individual time first. Well during this time the mediators showed so much concern for me because they knew about the r*pe and about me being sick and about Opal not paying bills and almost stuffing uni for me, plus other stuff that has happened to me, and they were asking if I had support and counselling. And one said something like ?gosh you have been through so much, you didn?t need this, I don?t blame you for not wanting an AVO out on you as it makes it sound like you are violent, which you are obviously not?.
Anyway Opal agreed to pay back some of the money as well (she could not do it still though)!!!
So in the end, even though you really don?t win or loose in mediation, I won! The AVO was lifted, I looked innocent (and I am) and Opal didn?t and I may get some of the money back (that she borrowed or didn?t pay in bills)!
The only thing was at the end Opal was given a call by her mum and her father had died and I felt so bad, but when I said that to the mediators they reminded me that it was her that took me to court and mediation! But I did send my condolences anyway!
Sorry to have been so long, but it felt good to get out.
Just briefly my ex-flat mate took me to court to put an AVO (Anti-Violence Order) on me and then it was taken out of court and we agreed to mediation?
Well firstly I was there early but typical Opal (my ex: flat mate ? the one who took me to court) was over half an hour late, I was annoyed but took care not to show it. When we finally got started she ended up talking all about a letter my mum wrote (requesting that Opal pay her back some money ? also mentioning a few other things). She also mentioned a night when my brother and sister went to her house and asked for the keys to my villa back (my brother lives there now). She mentioned other things but mostly she made herself look bad and me look good!
How is: she told them how she paid no bills and owed a lot of money, how her b/f threatened my siblings with a baseball bat, how she moved out and stuffed my work placement for uni and much much more that SHE did. Then when she brought up stuff my brother and mother did I said ?but that wasn?t me? and refused to talk about it and the Mediators agreed with me. I mean I can?t help what they do, they are both adults as well! Well Opal got angry and yelled at me a few times, she had to be asked to calm down, however I stayed calm the whole time. Then after establishing all the things I DIDN?T do the mediators asked her what I did do and guess what ? she had NO answer! It was established I had done nothing ? then one of the mediators asked Opal why she did this and she had poor reasons!
But the awful thing that happened was in the letter it mentioned when I was r*ped, well she was talking about it and it made me feel so sick and ashamed, I wanted to cry, but I took a deep breath and turned to the mediators and told them that I was still traumatised from the event and that I didn?t wish to speak about it. I almost vomited! Sigh! But they agreed and she had to stop talking about it.
Then we had individual time with the mediators and because Opal spoke first I got individual time first. Well during this time the mediators showed so much concern for me because they knew about the r*pe and about me being sick and about Opal not paying bills and almost stuffing uni for me, plus other stuff that has happened to me, and they were asking if I had support and counselling. And one said something like ?gosh you have been through so much, you didn?t need this, I don?t blame you for not wanting an AVO out on you as it makes it sound like you are violent, which you are obviously not?.
Anyway Opal agreed to pay back some of the money as well (she could not do it still though)!!!
So in the end, even though you really don?t win or loose in mediation, I won! The AVO was lifted, I looked innocent (and I am) and Opal didn?t and I may get some of the money back (that she borrowed or didn?t pay in bills)!
The only thing was at the end Opal was given a call by her mum and her father had died and I felt so bad, but when I said that to the mediators they reminded me that it was her that took me to court and mediation! But I did send my condolences anyway!
Sorry to have been so long, but it felt good to get out.
