Cutting less, but having more hopeless thoughts

[Cat Dancer]

I am trying to sort through this in my mind so I thought I would write it here. I've been hurting myself a lot less, maybe once or twice a week instead of every day. But I've also been feeling a lot more depressed and hopeless. We talked about it in therapy and we kind of decided that it's because normally when I have bad feelings, such as guilt, sadness, pain, anger, and others, I would turn to hurting myself and since I'm trying really hard not to do it there isn't anywhere for the feelings to go. So my question is, what can I do with the bad feelings instead of turning them all into hopelessness and suicidal thoughts or self destructive actions?

I've been thinking about my own question and I think writing really helps. Also if I have the energy, working on one of the hobbies I used to enjoy. (Hoping the enjoyment comes back soon.) I think there are a lot of good self help ideas here: http://forum.psychlinks.ca/showthread.php?t=1216

I don't know why I posted this question because I forgot about the resources here.

I guess those ideas could apply to the thoughts of hopelessness and despair too.

 

[Daniel E.]

I guess those ideas could apply to the thoughts of hopelessness and despair too.

Learning something new can help one feel more hopeful about the future. I usually feel more hopeful after reading a book or just listening to an audio book while doing something else.

(Nietzsche, who suffered from depression, wrote in his letters to friends that his desire to learn new things -- his "will to knowledge" -- was his best chance at happiness.)

 

[Cat Dancer]

That's good advice. I need to get to the library or something like that. Maybe find something new to learn on the internet. I worry a lot when I lose that desire to do things, even old things. That is a dangerous state of mind for me. Feeling hopeful about the future often does include the desire to learn something new. I haven't had that lately.

 

[ThatLady]

There are a lot of opportunities for learning on the internet. There's loads of information on almost any subject that might catch your fancy. There are classes to take, reading to do, and pictures to enjoy. That's one thing that you might try to help relieve the feelings of depression and despair.

Another thing that might help is finger painting. Yep. Finger painting. It's really a lot better exercise in releasing frustration and unhappiness than a lot of people realize. Besides, after awhile it's kinda fun and you can even hang up your "artwork" on the refrigerator! That way, if you're as untalented as I am, everyone can have a good laugh several times a day!

 

[AVC]

Be nice to yourself Janet, remember if you are not nice to yourself it is hard to extend that to others or improve yourself.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I am holding on to hope. One day maybe I can leave this behind me and I'll wonder how I could even have ever hurt myself in any way. I do think it hinders me from being able to be whoever I'm supposed to be and isolates me from people. It doesn't allow me to have friends or be a friend and that is sad. So I really, really want to stop. Last night I slipped up, but it's so much less frequent than it used to be and that is hopeful, isn't it?

 

[Halo]

I think that it is a sign of great hope when the SI becomes less frequent and one begins to resist the urges and although the slip ups happen they are not the end of the world, they are just that....slip ups.

I am proud of you Janet :clap:

Take care :heart:
:hug:

 

[Peanut]

Hi Janet,
I agree with what Halo said. It sounds like you are making a lot of progress stopping your SI. I hope you don't feel like the slip up was a major set back. It is just an opportunity to learn from. Your situation sounds really hopeful and it sounds like you are trying to think of good things to do to help yourself. Plus, just try to keep in mind that every time you resist an urge, you build more strength for the next time one comes up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, maybe it's hard to see sometimes, but it's always there. :heart:

 

[ThatLady]

Last night I slipped up, but it's so much less frequent than it used to be and that is hopeful, isn't it?

You're darned right it's hopeful! It's an improvement and all improvement is hopeful! I agree with the assessment as to why you're feeling more down. Finding things to replace the self-injury in ways that won't be detrimental to you is key. Some find release in creating things. Others find it in reading, or writing, or simply talking to others about unrelated things. Some find it in watching nature and marveling at the beauty of the world.