[How to] deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away?

[sandy]

I have this problem . I have this very close friend that had this surgery and he's alive with a miracle , that happened couple of months ago

He's now physically good but since that surgery our relationship was never the same .

He doesnt show much care although he says he cares ,

He says he cares so much but there is this thing deep inside him push him away from his closest friends ever . I believe he's over protecting his heart as he got hurt several times from closest people ,

The problem is I dont want to leave him when he might be needing me and also i cant accept it when i feel he doesnt care as he doesnt simply show it . and he admitted it that he cant show care he cant act like normal .

 

[Daniel E.]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

he admitted it that he cant show care he cant act like normal .

What about before the surgery? I mean, if it's not his personality to act this way, then maybe he's depressed or something.

 

[sandy]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

Yea that's not his personality , Before the surgery he showed so much care and we were so close !
thats why i keep holding on to him because we were so good ! but what makes me confused is that I GUESS he treats everyone normally and its JUST ME that he cant show her much care . and i believe he never lied he just feel HE CANT EXPRESS IT . something is pushing him further

 

[Daniel E.]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

what makes me confused is that I GUESS he treats everyone normally

Are your friends with his other friends? In other words, can you easily find out?

 

[sandy]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

I am yea, but we are not that close . but i am pretty sure he's normal with them . thats what i can see !

 

[Daniel E.]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

So are you the one initiating everything now? For example, do you call him, but he doesn't call you?

Certainly, if he seems happy and is socializing normally with others, then I probably wouldn't be concerned about him.

BTW:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/family-a...ts-interviews-with-sociologist-jan-yager.html

 

[sandy]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

Yea I initiate everything now !
but when we talk he sometimes talks deep and he listens and everything . and btw He changed, His character is starting to change , since that surgery
and he DOESNT want to let go of the friendship ! i just dont get it how he's holding on to me this much and at the same time he cant show he care, ! i just dont get it

 

[Daniel E.]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

Well, whatever the reason, some two-cent advice you may already know:

Taking a low-pressure approach is best when a friendship drifts apart. “Stay on the periphery and occasionally ask your friend to get together,” suggests Lerner. If you pursue her too eagerly, she’ll probably feel harassed and may retreat.

When Friends Behave Badly | Real Simple

 

[sandy]

re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

Okay thanks alot I will certainly put that in mind

---------- Post added at 11:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:02 AM ----------

Btw i forgot to mention that sometimes he wants to talk and sometimes he cant talk ,
and he says he cant control it . its a feeling inside him and he cant control it !

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: deal with a close friend when you feel he pushes you away ?

Btw i forgot to mention that sometimes he wants to talk and sometimes he cant talk ,
and he says he cant control it . its a feeling inside him and he cant control it !

I don't know, but certainly men tend to be less verbal than women, anyway -- more focused on doing shared activities instead.