sunflower
Member
Hello
I am very new here. i came here because my brother died in January. I thought the death would not have as huge impact as it has had. He was the very best of my family. Caring wonderful father and husband. I am not convinced that his wife will ever recover. Sometimes people just do not recover. I think she may be one of those rare people.
But my brother helped people in my family. Because he was the most stable and kind amongst us. Mother and the other sibling are both abusive. I live a life as an agoraphobic. I am not particularly abusive. But am not able to fend for myself. For many reasons. My mother and surviving brother are quite cruel to each other. She is 91. And just lost her son, So anyone being mean to her upsets me to my core. She is powerful and has tons of friends. But her remaining son and his wife are reactive and mean to her. Yes she provokes. But they have a choice how they want to react. They chose cruelty the whole way.
The surviving brother informed me yesterday that he has permenantly stopped talking to my mother. The decision was not an easy one, he said. And he came to the decision that he had had enough of her. I was crushed. How can any rational thinking adult do that to a 91 year old mother whose son just died. I do not care how obnoxious she is. She gave a lot. And now she needs people more than ever. So he takes a hike, so to speak.
My mother does not have much longer to live. I do not want to see that time made shorter because my abusive brother has taken this action. And even before he took this action, he was really so mean to her. I am personally quite afraid of him. His words are mighty weapons. And I have no one to talk with about it in real life. My aunt is now obsessing on saying mean things about my mother all the time. Pointing out constantly how much better she is than my mother.
Doesnt anyone get it? The woman is suffering. I do not care if she hides it. why do people not see beyond the surface? How can they be so uninsightful? I am the mentally ill one. I am the one who cannot function. I am the one on disability. And yet I can at least have compassion and caring. I feel crushed and so deeply upset.
I cannot be alone with my mother. She really can be very hurtful. It is true. But figure it out. Figure out a way. Do not just ditch her in her greatest time of need. She is not going to change. But I can change. I can be more compassionate and caring. She is a hurting 91 year old child. And they are willing to abandon her.
And also my brother who died sort of had my back a little bit. The remaining people refuse to hear anything that is wrong. So I am in a pretty dangerous position with no family help at all. No one to turn to when it is needed. No one in real life. It is dangerous to be alive. The remaining brother is a powerful attorney but he is a rage-aholic. And it would be foolish of me to tell him the truth about how things are with me. He would get very angry about my circumstances. And would be estranged. As would my mother. So I am on my own now. Trying to emotionally protect my mother. And the only family member willing to do it.
Thank you for reading this. I am sorry it is so long.
I am very new here. i came here because my brother died in January. I thought the death would not have as huge impact as it has had. He was the very best of my family. Caring wonderful father and husband. I am not convinced that his wife will ever recover. Sometimes people just do not recover. I think she may be one of those rare people.
But my brother helped people in my family. Because he was the most stable and kind amongst us. Mother and the other sibling are both abusive. I live a life as an agoraphobic. I am not particularly abusive. But am not able to fend for myself. For many reasons. My mother and surviving brother are quite cruel to each other. She is 91. And just lost her son, So anyone being mean to her upsets me to my core. She is powerful and has tons of friends. But her remaining son and his wife are reactive and mean to her. Yes she provokes. But they have a choice how they want to react. They chose cruelty the whole way.
The surviving brother informed me yesterday that he has permenantly stopped talking to my mother. The decision was not an easy one, he said. And he came to the decision that he had had enough of her. I was crushed. How can any rational thinking adult do that to a 91 year old mother whose son just died. I do not care how obnoxious she is. She gave a lot. And now she needs people more than ever. So he takes a hike, so to speak.
My mother does not have much longer to live. I do not want to see that time made shorter because my abusive brother has taken this action. And even before he took this action, he was really so mean to her. I am personally quite afraid of him. His words are mighty weapons. And I have no one to talk with about it in real life. My aunt is now obsessing on saying mean things about my mother all the time. Pointing out constantly how much better she is than my mother.
Doesnt anyone get it? The woman is suffering. I do not care if she hides it. why do people not see beyond the surface? How can they be so uninsightful? I am the mentally ill one. I am the one who cannot function. I am the one on disability. And yet I can at least have compassion and caring. I feel crushed and so deeply upset.
I cannot be alone with my mother. She really can be very hurtful. It is true. But figure it out. Figure out a way. Do not just ditch her in her greatest time of need. She is not going to change. But I can change. I can be more compassionate and caring. She is a hurting 91 year old child. And they are willing to abandon her.
And also my brother who died sort of had my back a little bit. The remaining people refuse to hear anything that is wrong. So I am in a pretty dangerous position with no family help at all. No one to turn to when it is needed. No one in real life. It is dangerous to be alive. The remaining brother is a powerful attorney but he is a rage-aholic. And it would be foolish of me to tell him the truth about how things are with me. He would get very angry about my circumstances. And would be estranged. As would my mother. So I am on my own now. Trying to emotionally protect my mother. And the only family member willing to do it.
Thank you for reading this. I am sorry it is so long.
