Deeper Dating: The Three Steps That Lead to Love
February 13, 2012
...Dating is hard. Actually, the word hard doesn't begin to capture it. Most of us have been battered so often that we've learned to stop trusting. We tell ourselves its hopeless, while we secretly long to be proven wrong...
Most of us are wired to want the person we can't really have. People who devalue us make us want to convince them that they're wrong.
But here's the good news: Just as we can be seduced by unavailability, we are also capable of being seduced by goodness. We can cultivate our attraction to kindness and availability, and as we do this, our dating lives dramatically change for the better.
In a healthy relationship, it's important to understand your "flight patterns." The risk of love scares us all. Watch out for the tendency to devalue a new relationship with someone consistent, kind and accepting. I call this phenomenon "The Wave", because like a wave, it can slam you off balance, yet in time, it will simply fade away. If you find yourself pushing away someone decent and available, take the time and space to let the Wave pass. In time, you'll see with clearer eyes if this person is right for you...
February 13, 2012
...Dating is hard. Actually, the word hard doesn't begin to capture it. Most of us have been battered so often that we've learned to stop trusting. We tell ourselves its hopeless, while we secretly long to be proven wrong...
Most of us are wired to want the person we can't really have. People who devalue us make us want to convince them that they're wrong.
But here's the good news: Just as we can be seduced by unavailability, we are also capable of being seduced by goodness. We can cultivate our attraction to kindness and availability, and as we do this, our dating lives dramatically change for the better.
In a healthy relationship, it's important to understand your "flight patterns." The risk of love scares us all. Watch out for the tendency to devalue a new relationship with someone consistent, kind and accepting. I call this phenomenon "The Wave", because like a wave, it can slam you off balance, yet in time, it will simply fade away. If you find yourself pushing away someone decent and available, take the time and space to let the Wave pass. In time, you'll see with clearer eyes if this person is right for you...
