More threads by braveheart


It's becoming increasingly clear to me, through work in therapy, and what my therapist says... that as I was growing up, from baby right to leaving home after uni, both my parents were depressed.

Neither of them sought any treatment. So neither of them were formally diagnosed. But very obviously depressed. And the knock on effects on me.....were profoundly damaging in many ways.

Mum's effected her to make her passive, submissive, she somatised a lot to get attention. She wasn't really responsive to me, and I was desperate for praise from her. She also worried about everything and everyone, including me, constantly. Dad's made him irritable, aggressive and abusive. He suffered paranoia and anxiety. He projected his terror into me. And left me stained, tainted..

How can neither of them have sought help?

Because they were scared of anyone finding out how it really was at home.

It really hurts.
The anger.
The sadness.
The grief.


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Re: depressed parents

Depression runs right down my mother's side of the family. She had a diagnosis of schizophrinia but the family history shows she had been depressed for years. Her mother was depressed and both my second cousins have dealt with clinical depression. Only one cousin who is a social worker did anything about it - but everyone else seemed to keep it as a family secret until my mother couldn't anymore. One of my sister's was quite depressed about 10 yrs ago after her 3rd child was born.

I have been told that genetics may play a part in all of this. I am glad I am finally recieving help and and done with keeping it a "shameful" secret.
Re: depressed parents

in time it may help you to know that the cause for everything you went through was that they were depressed. back when we were growing up things were quite different than they are today. i think there was a lot more stigma associated with therapy back then than there is today. also, is it possible that it just may not have occurred to them to seek help? this doesn't undo the damage that has been done to you but i think understanding the factors that have led to what happened to you will be helpful in the process of healing.

you have every right to feel angry and hurt and sad. you were robbed of a normal childhood, and are still suffering through the effects of it today. it is only to be expected that you would grieve for this. :hug:
Braveheart, I'm so sorry for your pain and suffering in this situation. I am a depressed parent and you give me courage and strength to get help and continue getting help so that I can make a better life for my little girl. I truly wish your parents had been able to do that and I'm sorry that it has hurt you so badly. You have such a kind, good, gentle heart and spirit and I wish things were easier for you.

Take care of yourself and know that you are worth of all good things.
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