Depression/Medication

[suewatters1]

How does one person know if the medication for depression is enough. I feel my Bupropion is enough but I think I just need a way to deal with the issues that are causing me to have this major depression.

In the past I tried many SSRI drugs for anxiety and it didn't do a thing form me Last year I tried a depression pill with Seroquel at the lowest dose and the Seroquel made me a zombie I couldn't function.

Since 2004 I have had health issues. I also found out in 2004 I had ADHD. I feel I am the right dose for my ADHD and now I am also on 300mg of Bupropion SR which I feel is the right dose. I also have physical health issues.

I feel the fact that physical health makes me tired and the delays in getting some answers from them and the fact I have been bullied and harassed for the whole 24 year I have been on my present job is also one of the main factors. I thought the problem at my workplace has been bad for almost 2 years but it dawn on me this week it has been going on for 24 years it's just now I realize there is only so much BS that I can mentally handle that now I am at a breaking point. It's been adding up to where I am ready to explode. It's like I can only repress so much of everything that happen to me from my childhood up till now for so long now I can't push back those thoughts anymore I have to deal with them.

So the reason I am having bad thoughts and think that is OK to have these thoughts. Is it due to the fact of all that I had endured since childhood till now I just can't deal with it anything more? I don't have family support and because they don't know but if they did it would make matters worse I know. That is why I have been proactive all my life to trying to fix my own mental health by finding the counseling I need. But right now it like I am going down hill and can't climb up.

I just can't quit my job like that. I have house and car payments and I have good benefits where I work. But it's like I am not sure how much more my mind can handle. I never got this bad before in my life. It's like I am not sure what could trigger me into doing something stupid.


Sue

 

[Into The Light]

if you think you are in danger and might be about to harm yourself, i would call 911 or call a suicide hotline to help you through.

as intense as the feelings can get, they do pass. the trick is to get through them without taking the wrong action.

it sounds like you are under an enormous amount of pressure right now and that is why you are feeling the way you are.

try to keep reminding yourself that as awful as you feel right now, things will not be this way forever. you are working on helping yourself, you've been seeing professionals to help you cope, and you are posting here to get yourself through all this. your situation can and will change for the better, and it's a matter of hanging on until that relief starts to come in.

is there anything you can do to keep yourself busy or to distract yourself?

how is your sleep at night?

 

[suewatters1]

ITL I don't feel I am in danger of hurting myself today but because I am fighting all the time to forget all the bullying and harassment I have endured. But I am not sure how much longer I can keep fighting to forget. Actually I never forget it's always on my mind but I try to forget.

Also it doesn't help I am not eating properly and some nights not sleeping properly. Also my house is a disaster zone because I am not taking care of it. I am surprise there are no mice or rats lurking around. I just find it hard to deal with it all. All my life I kept thinking tomorrow will be better but I am 45 yrs old and I have been saying that for about 40 years. I am not sure how to deal with life situations anymore.

Sue

 

[Always Changing]

Writing out all that is happening at the present time can be therapeutic in itself, maybe when at work if you can find a safe place "mentally" some of the stuff that is bothering you will just pass over your head, ( not easy I know).
Can you take any "sick leave" or holidays at this time?
Meantime keep writing on here and talking to your Therapist about where you are at.

I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[suewatters1]

Thank You I used all my holiday time and I can't afford to go on sick leave. The Thanksgiving weekend is coming up so an extra day off and I have 2 days off at the end of the month without pay due to inventory so that will make it an extra long weekend.

ITL All the things I use to do to keep me busy or distracted aren't working anymore.

 

[Always Changing]

ITL All the things I use to do to keep me busy or distracted aren't working anymore.

Sometimes when all else fails, it's time to step back and do nothing, take the pressure off and just have a cup of tea!.
Then after that if you are able\or up to it, maybe do just 1 thing that will help you in any way, be it something simple in the house, (e.g the washup), writing or simply going for a short walk.

as ITL said, things will get easier, :hug:

 

[suewatters1]

Thank You I am forcing myself to get ready to go out for breakfast at a restaurant. Hopefully I will be able to eat it. I haven't eaten much this weekend so I feel it then maybe I will pick up a few groceries for the week.

Sue