Does he have schizophrenia?

[December1202]

Hello!
One month ago I met a guy online. We clicked right away - our meetings were few hours long, same sense of humour, interests, he was respectful, consistent and caring, there was a chemistry. I never met a men like that before. He told me he might be OCD but he was never diagnosed. After the last date when we were going back (it was quite late) he told me to go to the other side of the street and he looked scared. Then he told me "I thought this man (who was passing by) had a bomb". There were only three of us in the street, it's a small city, there were never bomb attacks in my country (I'm from Europe). I got scared of him and didn't say much till the end of the date. Later I asked him through texts about it and he said that this guy had a package and he heard ticking (I didn't hear anything), then that he was joking (when I said it's a bizzare thing to say). Now I am worried that he is paranoid and may have some mental illness. What do you think?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Hi, @December1202

I don't know how to answer your question other than to say (1) it is not possible to diagnose anyone online or from a distance, and (2) it could be many things, including both various mental health conditions and drug use/abuse.

That said, I do think this may be a red flag for you that you should not ignore.

Have you noticed anything else about this man that seems a little odd to you?

 

[December1202]

I don't think he does drugs, he has a good job, friends and seems to have normal life. Odd things would be that he was once telling me that he is 'sanguine and melancholic at the same time and it makes his life difficult' for 15 minutes and that he has some sleeping problems. Also the thing about OCD. He also told ne he tends to raise his voice, e.g. when people do stupid thigs, I asked what that is about and he said 'e.g when people are drunk and want to do stupid things' but still that was odd to me to say these stuff.

 

[forgetmenot]

The red flags come up for a reason.
If this person is causing you to become uncomfortable, uneasy or even fearful then i would listen to those red flags.
As said one cannot diagnose someone without knowing this persons full history and also one has to be a doctor to do that.

The red flags are there so if you are going to see this person again do NOT go alone.

The raising his voice is another trigger stating he get agitated quickly or angry not a good sign.

I would ask him outright if he has any diagnosis you should be aware of.

Maybe he has PTSD or other illness because he did a tour at war but unless you ask you won't know.

Again if you are feeling uncomfortable around him take a friend next time don't go alone or don't go at all.

 

[December1202]

He told me he never went to psychiatrist and when I raised this issue he said that he is fine and started to say he does not know if he has OCD. I wasn't sure if I overreacted but I see it was not only my impression

- - - Updated - - -

For sure he was not on a war and for sure he had nothin to do with bombs, I asked. He said that sometimes he tends to analyse "various scenarios". That's a bit said as he overall seems a nice guy and I was hoping it could work out

 

[forgetmenot]

"I wasn't sure if I overreacted but I see it was not only my impression"

So someone else sees what you see so that tells you that you are not overreacting. He may be a nice guy but someone with problems that should be looked at. Just be careful that is all i am saying having a friend go along with you gives you those second opinions on what you are seeing and hearing.

 

[Daniel E.]

Since this was a first date, you would think social pressure/anxiety would override some of the paranoid thinking if it was minor.

Given his paranoid thinking, I assume he isn't getting professional help partly due to a lack of insight. Often, family has to get involved in such cases, regardless of age.

 

[Daniel E.]

our meetings were few hours long, same sense of humour, interests, he was respectful, consistent and caring, there was a chemistry.

After the last date when we were going back (it was quite late) he told me to go to the other side of the street and he looked scared.

Oh, I see this was not a first date. So maybe that's why some symptoms were coming out -- since he was more comfortable with you.

In any case, it's very difficult to help someone else with mental illness or drug abuse if they aren't able/willing to get treatment. It can be difficult even when they are getting treatment.

 

[December1202]

Exactly, as he told me about his OCD behaviours I decided to talk to him about all of this. He told me he understands his behaviour was irrational etc. but it didn't seem like he sees any need to go to see the doctor. At that point he really believed someone random in the street is carrying a bomb in the box... I would like to be able to encourage him to go to see the doctor but we met only few times and I don't feel entitled to make him search for help. I feel like I would like to help him but probably better for me will be just stop seeing him

 

[Hickwillas34]

If he is causing you to become uncomfortable, uneasy then you should be careful. Be safe