Ashley-Kate
MVP
I sort of kind of need to vent..
I am reading a new book. It is a great book i have to admit but i came to realize that although being a great book i find that books that tell the story of someone's life with the eating disorder frustrate me a great deal - not because they are not helpful but because to some extent they are really harmful depending on were you are in your recovery and even at that sometimes they are just really not good at all.. Not all of them and only parts of them
I like the idea that people tell a story and that it gives hope. The thing that frustrates me is the fact that too often these authors who have had eating disorders themselves don't think of how they were at the time of their eating disorder precisely and what i mean by that is that they often perceive the weight they were at when they were at the lowest and when they were at the highest and although to a normal person they may see how frail the girl or boy must have been to the anorexic mind its different.
I for instance saw weight as objectives if someone was thinner than me that i felt i was not anorexic enough, i was not thin enough because i was not the thinnest... and when i read a book about a girl that dropped very low i would aim for that reminding myself that the Dr's knew nothing because they told me i would be dead at that weight but the girl in the book lived so i convinced myself i could drop to that too...
I am better now slowly getting a grasp on my eating disorder but I still envy the frail silhouette and the numbers I never reached and I find it hard to believe that people who write about their own struggles and express the very drive of competition don't remember how they felt about others that were thinner than them...
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent
I am reading a new book. It is a great book i have to admit but i came to realize that although being a great book i find that books that tell the story of someone's life with the eating disorder frustrate me a great deal - not because they are not helpful but because to some extent they are really harmful depending on were you are in your recovery and even at that sometimes they are just really not good at all.. Not all of them and only parts of them
I like the idea that people tell a story and that it gives hope. The thing that frustrates me is the fact that too often these authors who have had eating disorders themselves don't think of how they were at the time of their eating disorder precisely and what i mean by that is that they often perceive the weight they were at when they were at the lowest and when they were at the highest and although to a normal person they may see how frail the girl or boy must have been to the anorexic mind its different.
I for instance saw weight as objectives if someone was thinner than me that i felt i was not anorexic enough, i was not thin enough because i was not the thinnest... and when i read a book about a girl that dropped very low i would aim for that reminding myself that the Dr's knew nothing because they told me i would be dead at that weight but the girl in the book lived so i convinced myself i could drop to that too...
I am better now slowly getting a grasp on my eating disorder but I still envy the frail silhouette and the numbers I never reached and I find it hard to believe that people who write about their own struggles and express the very drive of competition don't remember how they felt about others that were thinner than them...
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent
![[talon]](/data/avatars/s/2/2373.jpg?1612293987){kind=avatar}
