Emotional friend

[fairfax]

we really need advice. i have a friend who is very emotional and very sensitive. she take our lightest jokes seriously and always feels like she doesn't belong in our group. we have been classmates and friends for 3 years but somehow she still feels that way. She has very low-esteem and negative outlook in life, and we think that's why she's very sensitive. She also hates herself and before she even cut herself when she was still with her ex-boyfriend. she said that she likes feeling the pain and seeing blood.

we are very cautious now with our conversations with her because we might hurt her even if we don't intend to. We always acknowledge her talents and qualities but we feel that it doesn't affect her self-esteem at all.

what shall we do?:dimples:

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: emotional friend

what shall we do?

Basically, you want to encourage her to get professional help or at least see the school counselor. If she doesn't comply (and there's a good, if not likely, chance she won't), my personal opinion is that it may be a good idea to inform her parents she seems depressed (and her parents don't have to tell her the source of their concerns).

 

[Lana]

I agree with Daniel on this one: your friend should be [strongly] encouraged to seek professional help in the matter. As for you and your friends, I'm not sure that changing the group dynamic to avoid hurting her feelings or praising her exessively is a good way to go. It may be perceived as approval [by her] of her behavior and it's giving her a LOT of control over you, rather then helping her control herself. It's a form of manipulation that may result in resentment and tension in other healthy friendships.