Emotional Maturity

[solitary man]

Aside from being diagnosed with having a Schizoid Personality Disorder, my doctor last session stated that I am emotionally immature.

Great! Another thing to put on my resume...I wouldn't want to subject anyone to that, so there's another reason to never fall in love.

I've been trying to find info on what exactly Emotionally Immature represents, but so far everything I've come across is very vague.

 

[Jazzey]

Hi Solitary man,

I did a quick google search - I wasn't really sure of the characteristics. Here's a site that I found online. Having said that, why don't you ask your doctor what he/she meant by it and, if they can recommend a good read? I need to understand my stuff - so I always ask for anything I can get my grubby little hands on.

http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/emotional-maturity-949.html

(I won't vouch for the credibility of this site...)
===============
...and some books at Amazon:

Amazon.ca: Emotional maturity: Books

 

[NicNak]

I am emotionally immature too. My doctor has never put it quite that way. He says when I become anxious I "turn into a little girl" and my coping skills are that of a little girl.

He is never mean spirited when he says it though. I am not quite sure what it entails.

 

[solitary man]

Maybe I'm so what naive about certain things in life, especially when it comes to sex and relationships...not much experience.

But I like to think I have several of the characteristics from the list of the link above.


I'm thinking now it's probably time to move onto another doctor, as I find myself stuck and seem to be rehashing the same topics at our meetings.

I'm worried though that I probably won't get any better results with another doctor.

Maybe there's just not that depth in me to explore and should accept myself the way I am.

Yes, in some ways I am emotionally immature.

Is it immature for not wanting to hook up with any random person, because that's what adults do.

I know I'm far too screwed up to throw shallow meaningless sex into the mix, just because I don't have a lot of experience.

And I feel like my doctor is trying to make me feel guilty for not exploring it.


Hey, if they ever need to do a sequel to the 40 year old virgin, wait a couple of months, and I might be able to fill the role...hopefully not.:funny:


It may work for some people, but not me, and I knew that from an early age.

Call me Peter Pan...if growing up means giving up, well count me out.

 

[NicNak]

My doctor has never tried to change my morals.

I agree with the Peter Pan statement you made. Not sure if growing up means losing my "sense of wonder" as people say they see in me.

This part of my illness, has been the one that confuses me the most.

 

[Daniel E.]

I'm worried though that I probably won't get any better results with another doctor.

Are you currently seeing a therapist? I would rather get talk therapy from a therapist than a psychiatrist unless the psychiatrist is good at it.

 

[Into The Light]

Is it immature for not wanting to hook up with any random person, because that's what adults do.

I know I'm far too screwed up to throw shallow meaningless sex into the mix, just because I don't have a lot of experience.

And I feel like my doctor is trying to make me feel guilty for not exploring it.

i don't exactly think emotional maturity means hooking up with a random person nor does it mean meaningless sex. so please, don't think that being mature is defined by those things. emotional maturity is all about how we view the world and how we respond. there are mature ways in handling problems in life and immature ways. and i think everyone is a work in progress that way. i know i am

 

[Jazzey]

:agree:...suffering a little of the Peter Pan syndrome myself at times. Hang in there Solitary Man, some of the best things that life has to offer are worth the wait.

 

[amastie]

I have questioned what emotional maturity means. If it means that I am emotionally stable, well, no. If it means grappling with unstable feelings the best way I know how, then, I think, yes.

amastie

 

[solitary man]

I've experience life differently from the standard "norm", where I closed myself off from feeling any emotions at a young age.

I'm now learning to deal with it, and it's going to take time.

It's like when you try a new skill for the first time, people who've had many of experience, expect your results to be as good as theirs, but how can you if you haven't had the same amount of practice as they had?

And as for the sense of wonder, Nick Nack, don't lose it.

Some people are happy just with the status quo.

I'm not one of them.

There's too much in life to learn, and you'd have to be rather full of yourself to say you know everything about everything.

 

[white page]

i don't exactly think emotional maturity means hooking up with a random person nor does it mean meaningless sex. so please, don't think that being mature is defined by those things. emotional maturity is all about how we view the world and how we respond. there are mature ways in handling problems in life and immature ways. and i think everyone is a work in progress that way. i know i am
___

Hi Solitary man ,
I agree with into the light , everyone has areas where their personal reactions are seen as immature, either our defenses are not developed enough , or we cannot cope with certain events and react very emotionally , or we were pushed into adult hood too quickly and didn't have time to develope certain aspects of maturity . Certainly there is no cut and dried measure of maturity . Often we a complex mixture of maturity and immaturity .
best wishes white page

 

[Daniel E.]

my doctor last session stated that I am emotionally immature.

Of course, context is everything. You don't mention the context in which that statement was made. In any case, you should feel free to ask your doctor what he meant by it since, as the previous posts suggest, it can apply to many different things.

Also, it has been my experience that psychiatrists are less careful and precise with their wording than therapists -- in other words, have been more prone to give passing remarks without a lot of details -- partially because the psychiatrists I have seen are mostly doing medication checks rather than talk therapy and so also have less time.