Entitlement

[desiderata]

I have noticed an unearned sense of entitlement from some of those I associate with and part of society as a whole. What gives these people a right to push their agenda on you? Who made them masters? I have stood my ground countless times but I am tired now and try to let the bullets just bounce off me. It's apparent that I can't dodge all the bullets.

Part of it is the times we live in. Part of it is what leadership and status have been granted and sets an example for others to follow. Whatever the case I hope good conscience rules the day.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What do you mean by "entitlement", @desiderata?

Can you give a couple of examples?

 

[desiderata]

I use the word entitlement similar to "Having the right." My youngest son has used it a few times about his workplace and it's just stuck.
It may be out of context. I haven't looked it up. Sorry if misunderstood.
For example: Joe feels he is entitled or has the right to push his way around other people. The CEO of BigBank believes he is entitled to break the law and get away with it.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I think some people have always been that way. Narcissists for example (pretty much everything Trump does).

I don't know if it's getting worse or not. I know that some have accused millennials of being entitled but I think there are also many examples that would suggest that's not generally true, or at least that there are many exceptions to that generalization.

 

[Daniel E.]

One theory is that in the "good old days" the business environment was more stable. Therefore there was no desire for narcissistic leadership:

Historically, narcissists in large corporations have been confined to sales positions, where they use their persuasiveness and imagination to best effect. In settled times, the problematic side of the narcissistic personality usually conspires to keep narcissists in their place, and they can typically rise to top management positions only by starting their own companies or by leaving to lead upstarts.

Narcissistic Leaders:The Incredible Pros, the Inevitable Cons

 

[desiderata]

Yes, without trying to get political I know the U.S. president has enabled millions to act in ways that are shameful.

 

[Daniel E.]

On the positive side, narcissism awareness has never been higher.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

On the positive side, narcissism awareness has never been higher.

Good point. And we all get to see it in action daily if we can stomach seeing Trump's face any more or watching him in action.

 

[Daniel E.]

Nancy Pelosi teaches us how to perfectly own narcissists like Donald Trump, therapist says | Salon.com

“Leave emotions out as much as possible,” she concludes.

She also emphasizes setting clear boundaries and sticking to them...

“When working with a gaslighter/narcissist, take control of the situation by giving him a “forced choice” – option A or option B. The gaslighter/narcissist will usually come up with their own option that suits them, but is to the detriment of everyone else. Repeat option A or B again. Repeat them again if the gaslighter tries to obfuscate. (This is called the “broken record” technique.) These are the options. Period. There is no wiggle room.”

Sarkis brings up a few other strategies, such as keeping communications brief...

 

[desiderata]

Awareness is one thing, action is another.

 

[Daniel E.]

But I think people have more courage to stand up to narcissistic behavior, e.g. bullying bosses, if they know what is going on.

In fact, both TOTs [Terrible Office Tyrants] and toddlers have little sense of their impact on others. They have few inhibitions, an inability to soothe themselves, and limited awareness that they're even erupting into an infantile rage. Often, within minutes or hours, they can forget it ever happened! Always remember that behind your boss's emotional crash, there is really a toddler trapped inside who wants your time and attention. So always have a "pacifier" ready, such as: "That will be the first thing on my ‘to do' list tomorrow."

Each day, you have the opportunity to proactively manage the "toddlers" in your office by using humor, common sense, rational thinking, and by setting limits to bad behavior. If you choose not to learn effective coping techniques, then you will be an emotional punching bag for your boss (and/or co-workers).

You can reinforce the positive and discourage the negative because YOU have leverage: your skills and contributions. You are the parent with the proverbial cookie jar when it comes to managing a TOT. By adopting a positive, professional approach at work, you will contribute to your own career advancement with transferable skills, while you create a more manageable workplace for others.

Why Bad Bosses Act like Toddlers

 

[Daniel E.]

Why so many narcissistic men become leaders

Just as men display higher levels of confidence and self esteem than women do, men are also more narcissistic-–an extreme version of the same phenomenon. For example, the prevalence of clinical narcissism is almost 40% higher in men than in women. A recent meta-analysis of 355 studies and almost half a million individuals aged 8 to 55 years indicated that the gender difference in narcissism is among the highest difference found for any psychological trait.

 

[desiderata]

I believe all men and women are entitled or have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is when this entitlement is unwarranted, unearned, stolen at the expense of others less fortunate, misconstrued, and yes, abused by those with narcissistic habits. Even though awareness has increased there is a huge swath of people who believe the earth is flat and believe they are entitled without hard work, compassion, intelligence, responsibility, sacrifice, and simply handed to them without these efforts. The proportions seemed to have tipped the scales in that direction causing an uneasy dysfunction of society that we are all a part of.

 

[Daniel E.]

Income Inequality - Inequality.org

Over the past five decades, the top 1 percent of American earners have nearly doubled their share of national income. Meanwhile, the official poverty rate for all U.S. families has merely inched up and down. The official poverty rate understates the number of people in the world’s richest country who have trouble making ends meet. An estimated 43.5 percent of the total U.S. population (140 million people) are either poor or low-income...

One factor in the widening income divide is the decline of U.S. labor unions. As the share of the workforce represented by a union has declined to less than 11 percent since their peak in the 1940s and 1950s, those at the top of the income scale have increased their power to rig economic rules in their favor, further increasing income inequality...

To meet basic needs, low-wage workers have to spend nearly every dollar they earn, creating beneficial economic ripple effects. The wealthy, by contrast, can afford to squirrel away more of their earnings.

 

[desiderata]

Assuming you are not an auto worker I applaud your post. My father worked at Chrysler until just past the age of 50. The "30 and out plan." He has been retired almost as long as he worked and still contributes to the UAW. I agree many unions became fat and corrupt but at the core solidarity is the key for leverage with the rich man. I suppose unions today need to reevaluate their strategy in order to survive in the world economy. I'm all for it.

 

[Daniel E.]

A recent example is in my state of Arizona where the teachers protested and marched -- and stopped teaching for days -- until they finally got their demands for a much-needed pay raise. Arizona has paid their teachers less than almost any other state. Since the public would not stand up for the teachers, the teachers had to do it themselves.

Assuming you are not an auto worker I applaud your post.

I can barely change a tire or change the oil in my car

 

[desiderata]

A few years ago in my state of Wisconsin Scott Walker broke the teachers union. The teachers have survived and I am not sure of their current pay and benefit structure. They had the freedom of choice stripped from them. Although, I have seen more teachers in other states taking a stand for themselves. I forget the state but it was required that all teachers wear a Fitbit as part of their insurance plan. I'm all for someone tracking their fitness but to be forced into it and penalized for not meeting certain goals is not for a government to decide. It was later thrown out when the teachers settled with the state. I can still remember the governor signing the agreement as he was a large man in stature but definitely overweight. How hypocritical.
I have always stood up for myself and question most everything. Not to find fault but a method of processing. Without being pushy I at least encourage my coworkers to stand together for who else will? Unfortunately many are too afraid to lose their jobs all the while big corporate feels entitled to ask for more. As far as my dad and the big 3 autoworkers of the day, many said they were over-paid and it was unfair. All I can say to that is good for them. They fell into a segment of time where this was possible.

 

[Hickwillas34]

associated with pride. Nowadays a lot of people have this kind of attitude.

 

[Daniel E.]

On the plight of Amazon warehouse employees who are often fired for not meeting stringent quotas:



Amazon worker fired: Warehouse employee is out after trying to unionize - Vox

“We have asked the company to provide air conditioning, but the company told us that the robots inside cannot work in the cold weather.”


On Prime Day, pilot union shows solidarity for Amazon strikers | Air Cargo World

"As we know firsthand, Amazon’s business model too often neglects the well-being of the workers who make the e-commerce giant so incredibly successful."

 

[Daniel E.]

Amazon warehouse workers are getting fired by robots

Workers in the warehouse are encouraged to pack and scan orders at an “Amazon pace” — described as a speed in between walking and jogging.

Employees often process hundreds of orders an hour and skip toilet breaks, going to the toilet in bottles out of fear of being sacked for failing to “make rate.”

In 2017 it was reported that staff at Amazon warehouses were suffering from panic attacks and working long hours as they struggled to keep up with demand.