Feel like there is nothing I can do

[Cat Dancer]

to make a difference in the world. I feel that my time is over. I am really depressed. I don't have the energy right now to battle with ocd or whatever and I don't feel like anyone understands this.

I want to call my therapist, but only to tell him I quit and thanks. I know this is negative, but I am feeling really down right now.

 

[Andy]

If you call your therapist for any reason at all, it should be to tell him that you are feeling this hopeless. I hope that if your not feeling safe you can reach out to your therapist.

I'm sorry your not doing well and I know I don't know you well but I can GUARANTEE that you have made a HUGE difference to many people in your life and out (like here on Psychlinks) and most importantly to your beautiful children. :support:

 

[Banned]

CD from how you've described your therapist in the past I think he would be more than willing to help you over this latest hump. There are many of us here who do understand how debillitating depression is and how hopeless things seem. We also know you've experienced this before and worked through it and you can do it again.

 

[MHealthJo]

So sorry you are feeling this way, CD.

Those thoughts just aren't true... I'm so sorry they are assaulting you right now.

xx

 

[Been there Done that]

Feelings can deceive us. Look towards the future and not the present temporary distress. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temproary problem. I had a major depressive episode when I went on Cymbalta. The Cymbalta make it worse and I was suicidal. I took three blood pressure pills and decided to go to the hospital afterwards b/c I really didn't want to die. I am glad I never carried it out b/c my meds were changed and to this day I love my life and am a very happy person. It takes patience to see yourself healed and on the ohter side of the depression. I havent been depressed for twenty months to this day. Hang in there it will get better!

 

[Retired]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Feelings can deceive us. Look towards the future and not the present temporary distress.

This message is so important to consider and to absorb during moments of crisis.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I called my therapist and he didn't call me back. I'm ok with that. I know he's busy. I just feel such a need to connect. I feel like I'm only good for one thing. I really wish I could start over, but I can't. I have to somehow make the most of what I have. How do I do that?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I called my therapist and he didn't call me back.

Yet...

 

[Cat Dancer]

Anyway, I feel like I am going to make it through this day. Maybe there is some hope after all. At least for this moment.

 

[Andy]

Anyway, I feel like I am going to make it through this day. Maybe there is some hope after all. At least for this moment.

That's all you can do sometimes make it through the day or the moments and the next day focus on getting through them again. :support:

 

[MHealthJo]

That's all you can do sometimes make it through the day or the moments and the next day focus on getting through them again.

-- Yup, I've definitely had plenty of time periods of this "hiding in the trenches" mode. There are plenty of times when you've got to just hide safely while the bombs blitz.
. ... then, when it's a bit less offensive out there, we can creep out a bit.... do something a little more offensive, ourselves, if we can.... but know that when we hear those sirens it's okay to run back to the bomb shelter again!

Also, one more thing - even though it can be so hard for the person suffering to feel a connection to others, Please know CD that we feel a connection to you regardless, and we are with you.

xx

 

[Cat Dancer]

I think/fear I let everyone down by not killing myself. Writing it out makes me think that doesn't make any sense. Why do I let things be so confusing?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Partly because for reasons I don't fully understand you continue to fight accepting that most of your intrusive negative thoughts are due to OCD.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Well, it's not an easy thing to accept that most of your thoughts are not even real and due to some mental disorder. I then don't even know who I am or if I am even real. This is really discouraging.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Many people have OCD tendencies. The key is to understand what OCD is all about and learn to manage it.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I guess I don't understand what comes from the OCd, what comes from the depression, what comes from the PTSD, etc.

I feel really discouraged and hopeless thinking that most of my thoughts are just ocd thoughts. That i don't have any actual real thoughts. It seems like there is no real me then. If that makes any sense.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

But the depression diagnosis doesn't seem to bother you and the PTSD diagnosis doesn't seem to bother you but you fight tooth and nail against the OCD diagnosis.

The question is why?

I think this is something you should address with your therapist. I think it's important.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I think of OCD as being like the Monk character. I'm nothing like that. I don't know what makes me have OCD. I do have bad anxiety. I think I don't truly understand the symptoms of ocd because I don't see myself as having it most of the time.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There are different varieties of OCD, Cat Dancer, and there is no question at all that you exhibit classic symptoms of this.

See:

Famous People with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Famous People with OCD

https://www.google.com/search?q=fam...aMqyr2AWstICIBg&ved=0CEIQsAQ&biw=1138&bih=586