Into The Light
MVP
i was just wondering what others have done in therapy to feel safer and better able to face and feel difficult feelings during a session. what has worked for you? what has your therapist tried to help you along there?
- Thread starter Into The Light
- Start date
Hi ITL,
Some of my favourite techniques include focusing on one spot on the floor, talking in "auto pilot" mode...so I'm not thinking about the feeling....just about getting through getting the information out. When it's nice out, I'll ask to go for a walk, so we can walk and talk at the same time - that seems to make it easier. I've also brought my dog with me to sessions and basically told my dog what I wanted to say...
My therapist is pretty awesome and I have a good relationship with her, so when things were really, really hard, I kept telling myself in my head that I need to do this, I need to say this, and it won't kill me. Literally...I had to tell myself I wasn't going to die by talking about this...
That's about all I can offer you...I hope something in here is helpful.
Some of my favourite techniques include focusing on one spot on the floor, talking in "auto pilot" mode...so I'm not thinking about the feeling....just about getting through getting the information out. When it's nice out, I'll ask to go for a walk, so we can walk and talk at the same time - that seems to make it easier. I've also brought my dog with me to sessions and basically told my dog what I wanted to say...
My therapist is pretty awesome and I have a good relationship with her, so when things were really, really hard, I kept telling myself in my head that I need to do this, I need to say this, and it won't kill me. Literally...I had to tell myself I wasn't going to die by talking about this...
That's about all I can offer you...I hope something in here is helpful.
hey ITL
I know that me opening up and dealing with feelings in therapy has been very hard. When I first opened up about something I got a very good response. The therapists reaction really helped me deal with it. Because of that I have more courage to say more things. I kinda say the same things as Turtle that I need to say it and deal with it.
I dont know if my therapist has helped me along persay because my therapist lets me go at my pace and never pushes anything nor really brings things up. Maybe this strategy has helped me, knowing that I will have to be the one to bring stuff up and deal. I dont even know if I said anything useful here. but here it is anyway
I know that me opening up and dealing with feelings in therapy has been very hard. When I first opened up about something I got a very good response. The therapists reaction really helped me deal with it. Because of that I have more courage to say more things. I kinda say the same things as Turtle that I need to say it and deal with it.
I dont know if my therapist has helped me along persay because my therapist lets me go at my pace and never pushes anything nor really brings things up. Maybe this strategy has helped me, knowing that I will have to be the one to bring stuff up and deal. I dont even know if I said anything useful here. but here it is anyway
...She pulls the reins on me when she feels that I'm distressing - she slows me down. I unfortunately don't know when I'm getting myself into trouble until I'm dead center of it (dissociation). She's really good at reading me - and this makes me feel safe. She's taken on the role of not letting me go to places that I don't even recognize as being places that I can't just yet delve into.
Along the same lines as what Jazzey has said, my therapist doesn't keep me in deep for too long - she brings me out pretty quick, usually using humour or being inquisitive about something ... ie she'll ask me what new trick I've taught my dog.
So - I rely on her to bring me out when things get too deep as well.
So - I rely on her to bring me out when things get too deep as well.
My Psychiatrist always assures me that he isn't judging me and that being a "let down" isn't something he is thinking.
He will often repeat positive accomplishments or assurance through out my session so it "sticks" with me, cause I tend to be forgetful. Either that or it is his way to further assure me.
He frequently tells me how well I do with coping with my symptoms. I especially had a hard time about how others viewed me and how well I was doing. He quickly made me understand that others, even with their best intentions, usually do not understand.
He addresses any fears I have. He directs me with facts.. He will always let me say how I feel, then will go through the feelings I have and help me understand where they come from and how to keep things in prospective.
When bad things happen, I often get down on myself because I think I don't handle it well, but he always puts that into prospective too.
Lately trama has caused me confusion because I second guess what has happened and he helps me get things straightened out so I can start to deal with it. I tend to down play things a lot, drown it in humor, not realize lines were crossed or assume I am weak, he often has to make me see things for how they are, even if it is worse than I thought, for that reason.
Even though he is male and myself female, I even feel comfortable enough to talk about female issues too. He is very understanding that way too.
I think at this point, he has heard all the worst possable things I could say. So to be open about other things is easier now.
Luckily I never had any fear of telling him, even when I was SI'ing before.
I think my Family Doctor had me realize early on, the best way to get assistance is to be completly open and tell them anything that doesn't seem "right". When I asked for a referal to a Psychiatrist she agreed and said she thought I would benefit greatly from it cause I am so open.
The only shame I felt, was thinking I let my doctors down because I had to go off work, but both are still persevering to assure me that I have done very well. Which is now starting to finally sink in, I think.
He will often repeat positive accomplishments or assurance through out my session so it "sticks" with me, cause I tend to be forgetful. Either that or it is his way to further assure me.
He frequently tells me how well I do with coping with my symptoms. I especially had a hard time about how others viewed me and how well I was doing. He quickly made me understand that others, even with their best intentions, usually do not understand.
He addresses any fears I have. He directs me with facts.. He will always let me say how I feel, then will go through the feelings I have and help me understand where they come from and how to keep things in prospective.
When bad things happen, I often get down on myself because I think I don't handle it well, but he always puts that into prospective too.
Lately trama has caused me confusion because I second guess what has happened and he helps me get things straightened out so I can start to deal with it. I tend to down play things a lot, drown it in humor, not realize lines were crossed or assume I am weak, he often has to make me see things for how they are, even if it is worse than I thought, for that reason.
Even though he is male and myself female, I even feel comfortable enough to talk about female issues too. He is very understanding that way too.
I think at this point, he has heard all the worst possable things I could say. So to be open about other things is easier now.
Luckily I never had any fear of telling him, even when I was SI'ing before.
I think my Family Doctor had me realize early on, the best way to get assistance is to be completly open and tell them anything that doesn't seem "right". When I asked for a referal to a Psychiatrist she agreed and said she thought I would benefit greatly from it cause I am so open.
The only shame I felt, was thinking I let my doctors down because I had to go off work, but both are still persevering to assure me that I have done very well. Which is now starting to finally sink in, I think.
When a therapist shared with me her own inconsistencies in life, I knew I was in the presence of someone posessing the same afflictions that we all share as humans.
I know a lot of things, as do we all, but none of us knows all. I could inform her of many things she had no working knowledge of because these were things in my expertise.
Her expertise was what I required from her. We were two 'experts'. Two people. Thats all. There was no superiority in anything other than what each of us knew in life that served us.
We were equals. Thats how I rationalized it, and thats how I benefitted from it.
I know a lot of things, as do we all, but none of us knows all. I could inform her of many things she had no working knowledge of because these were things in my expertise.
Her expertise was what I required from her. We were two 'experts'. Two people. Thats all. There was no superiority in anything other than what each of us knew in life that served us.
We were equals. Thats how I rationalized it, and thats how I benefitted from it.
Yesterday, when you posted this question ITL - it took me while to respond because all I had in my mind were the things that didn't help me in therapy...
I'll just share one item here. The biggest stumbling block for me, and one which almost convinced me to stop therapy, was seeing my therapist react to some of the things that I said. I'm a fairly open person. Add to that that I don't recognize that some of my experiences aren't 'normal' (you know what I mean here). So when I share them and I see a look come over the therapist's face, or the therapist is mute for the next minute or so, I shut down. In that instant, I realize the enormity of what I've just shared and I'm embarrassed about my thought processes.
With my new psychologist, she has reacted to some of the things I've said. But she's also explained her reactions. And we've discussed them openly - this has helped to not feel so embarrassed. She gently leads me down healthier ways to think about these situations.
I don't know if this makes sense. But my safety with her also comes from her openness to tell me why she has a particular reaction to what I may say or not say sometimes...
I'll just share one item here. The biggest stumbling block for me, and one which almost convinced me to stop therapy, was seeing my therapist react to some of the things that I said. I'm a fairly open person. Add to that that I don't recognize that some of my experiences aren't 'normal' (you know what I mean here). So when I share them and I see a look come over the therapist's face, or the therapist is mute for the next minute or so, I shut down. In that instant, I realize the enormity of what I've just shared and I'm embarrassed about my thought processes.
With my new psychologist, she has reacted to some of the things I've said. But she's also explained her reactions. And we've discussed them openly - this has helped to not feel so embarrassed. She gently leads me down healthier ways to think about these situations.
I don't know if this makes sense. But my safety with her also comes from her openness to tell me why she has a particular reaction to what I may say or not say sometimes...
Ryan Howes
Member
Hi ITL, I'd like to give one therapist's perspective, if I may.
There are several things we therapists have in place to make therapy a safe place to talk. We get advanced degrees and obtain licenses to help us understand what our clients go through and to assure our competence. We take courses on law and ethics to help us distinguish between ethical and unethical behavior. We give clients a consent form to fill out, clarifying our legal obligation to uphold client confidentiality. We do things like keep our shades drawn, have white-noise makers in our waiting rooms and have separate exits to protect the client's privacy. And most of us have studied psychological theories that help us understand why people think, feel and behave in certain ways. There are times when information startles us, but mostly because we're surprised we didn't think of it sooner, not because we're somehow appalled by our client's feelings or behavior.
When I have a client who has something to say or feel but doesn't want to go there, I'll encourage them to talk about their fantasy of what might happen. I'm going to run screaming from the room? I'm going to stay silent and judge them? I'm going to feel overwhelmed and resent them? I usually find they're afraid of my fantasy reaction and the reality of their own thoughts and feelings. But the more we talk about what they anticipate will happen, the less frightening it is.
There are several things we therapists have in place to make therapy a safe place to talk. We get advanced degrees and obtain licenses to help us understand what our clients go through and to assure our competence. We take courses on law and ethics to help us distinguish between ethical and unethical behavior. We give clients a consent form to fill out, clarifying our legal obligation to uphold client confidentiality. We do things like keep our shades drawn, have white-noise makers in our waiting rooms and have separate exits to protect the client's privacy. And most of us have studied psychological theories that help us understand why people think, feel and behave in certain ways. There are times when information startles us, but mostly because we're surprised we didn't think of it sooner, not because we're somehow appalled by our client's feelings or behavior.
When I have a client who has something to say or feel but doesn't want to go there, I'll encourage them to talk about their fantasy of what might happen. I'm going to run screaming from the room? I'm going to stay silent and judge them? I'm going to feel overwhelmed and resent them? I usually find they're afraid of my fantasy reaction and the reality of their own thoughts and feelings. But the more we talk about what they anticipate will happen, the less frightening it is.
Replying is not possible. This forum is only available as an archive.
Similar threads
