I like to think I usually have a handle on the things I had to endure as a child. But, it never fails that something will cause it to resurface and inflict pain. Inevitably that leads to anger for me.
My father was a very physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. I always felt that most of that problem was my fault. Thankfully, as we grow, we learn it isn't true, but that doesn't always negate the underlying issues that it causes.
I realized last summer that another man in my family is, in essence, my father in another body. And it scares the hell out of me. What has happened this week is I learned that, not only does he scream at his wife, but he puts his hands on her and likes to toss her around. Yes, that made me angry. But what has infuriated me and shocks me so, is that there are two young children in this situation. I don't understand how the rest of this family can't see where this is leading. When asked for my opinion, I don't think it was really something this young woman really wanted. At least not after I gave my opinion.
Violence leads to more violence. And, inevitably to the children. Why, oh why, does a woman put her children at risk????
I am so ****ed off that I just want to scream. I just can't understand. They are constantly cleaning up after him, bailing him out of his messes and giving him money. All taking care of him, but ignoring the obvious. The kids. The newest addition to the family is only one month old. The older one is almost 3 and she gets to hear all the awful names he calls his wife and all the shouting and screaming and crying. I tried to tell her what this does to a child. The effects are everlasting. I am 42 and still have nightmares of things I had to witness or endure. My mother left the first chance she could, but it wasn't soon enough.
And his siblings aren't helping. The one says, he is my brother, I love him, I can't see him struggle, I can't see him suffer. OMG!!!!
I tried to tell them and I think it fell on deaf ears. The hidden scars are there forever. The damage it causes to a childs ability to know love, give love, accept love is sometimes irreparable.
My family has been riddled with addiction. As was my husbands. It has taken SO MUCH WORK to stop the cycle, but we were determined. And it ended with us telling both our fathers that they would not see our children if they were drinking. And there were times that we cancelled visits because of that. I was never sorry. I never felt guilty for that. I was not going to subject my kids to that. They are what is important.
I am sorry to ramble, but I am just so angry. It is like my father can reach me from the grave sometimes. :hissyfit:
My father was a very physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. I always felt that most of that problem was my fault. Thankfully, as we grow, we learn it isn't true, but that doesn't always negate the underlying issues that it causes.
I realized last summer that another man in my family is, in essence, my father in another body. And it scares the hell out of me. What has happened this week is I learned that, not only does he scream at his wife, but he puts his hands on her and likes to toss her around. Yes, that made me angry. But what has infuriated me and shocks me so, is that there are two young children in this situation. I don't understand how the rest of this family can't see where this is leading. When asked for my opinion, I don't think it was really something this young woman really wanted. At least not after I gave my opinion.
Violence leads to more violence. And, inevitably to the children. Why, oh why, does a woman put her children at risk????
I am so ****ed off that I just want to scream. I just can't understand. They are constantly cleaning up after him, bailing him out of his messes and giving him money. All taking care of him, but ignoring the obvious. The kids. The newest addition to the family is only one month old. The older one is almost 3 and she gets to hear all the awful names he calls his wife and all the shouting and screaming and crying. I tried to tell her what this does to a child. The effects are everlasting. I am 42 and still have nightmares of things I had to witness or endure. My mother left the first chance she could, but it wasn't soon enough.
And his siblings aren't helping. The one says, he is my brother, I love him, I can't see him struggle, I can't see him suffer. OMG!!!!
I tried to tell them and I think it fell on deaf ears. The hidden scars are there forever. The damage it causes to a childs ability to know love, give love, accept love is sometimes irreparable.
My family has been riddled with addiction. As was my husbands. It has taken SO MUCH WORK to stop the cycle, but we were determined. And it ended with us telling both our fathers that they would not see our children if they were drinking. And there were times that we cancelled visits because of that. I was never sorry. I never felt guilty for that. I was not going to subject my kids to that. They are what is important.
I am sorry to ramble, but I am just so angry. It is like my father can reach me from the grave sometimes. :hissyfit:
