Freeze-response to Trauma?

[disotb]

I have, ever sense I can remember, had these episodes while lying down but fully awake where I suddenly feel intense fear and "fall" into myself. I fall so far in that my body doesn't feel real anymore and if people walk by they look robotic and unreal. When I was younger I used to explain it to myself as feeling like my skin turns to stone because my whole body becomes rigid and I can't move.

I am still fully aware and can always manage to shed a tear but can't speak or move. As I've gotten older I've noticed that what I used to think as my skin "turning to stone" is actually the feeling of all the muscles in my body tightening up..even the muscles in my jaw and face. I've looked into sleep paralysis but I've never heard of anything like this and I'm pretty sure I've had sleep paralysis before and it's a very different feeling/experience altogether from what I remember.

I wonder if it's some sort of "freeze-response" to being sexually abused? I was attacked when I was 15 too and I had it happen then as well. I disappeared into myself and didn't fight or move...I was literally frozen with fear and didn't try to stop them.

What is wrong with me? Is this a normal reaction to getting attacked...to disappear into your head and go limp or rigid? I've never heard anyone say they did this and I'm so ashamed that I couldn't even say no or push them away. I used to have these episodes pretty much every night like clockwork just after getting into bed, and still have them once in a while and I'm 27.

I also have periods in the day where I touch something soft and it feels like stone and I literally cringe in pain from the surprise of touching something that should be soft but feels like rock.

Please someone know what's wrong with me and what these episodes are????

 

[Budoaiki]

I wonder if it's some sort of "freeze-response" to being sexually abused? I was attacked when I was 15 too and I had it happen then as well. I disappeared into myself and didn't fight or move...I was literally frozen with fear and didn't try to stop them. What is wrong with me? Is this a normal reaction to getting attacked...to disappear into your head and go limp or rigid?

Hello disotb,

I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head. It makes sense that when dealing with a traumatic event that you would try to disconnect your mind from your body in an effort to spare yourself from it.

I also believe that the "soft feeling like stone" may be a response to prevent you from revisiting those events because a part of you associates that sensation (soft) with the trauma of that event.

That's my opinion based on what you've said but only a trained therapist would be able to determine this with any degree of certainty which would come from a full understanding of you, the trauma you suffered and your subsequent reaction or reactions to it.

 

[disotb]

Thanks budoaiki,
I'm still wondering though if this is a common coping mechanism and if it is than why doesn't anyone ever talk about it? When dealing with trauma you always hear that there are two reactions fight or flight. Nobody ever mentions freeze it seems. I was told if you don't say no and don't try to fight off an attack it's basically like saying it's ok? Basically freezing isn't something legitimate that a person would do in a traumatic situation? :confusion:

 

[Budoaiki]

disotb,

I am not sure who told you or where you heard that;

if you don't say no and don't try to fight off an attack it's basically like saying it's ok?

but I have to say that they are wrong.

Reactions to abuse are as varied as the weather.

Trauma is subjective, circumstantial and just because someone doesn't physically fight back or flee doesn't mean they didn't react with fight or flight which isn't just a physical response.

For example physically shutting down in a "freeze" as you described could be interpreted as a form of mental flight in an effort to escape the attack when doing so may not seem to be physically possible, viable or otherwise safe.

Abusers excel at finding ways to justify their actions and trying to make their victims feel they are to blame or that its also their fault somehow in an effort to avoid their own guilt. (However minimal their guilt or fear of it might be) Which shows the type of twisted thinking that drives that type depraved act and is in itself another form of abuse against their victims.

Nobody ever mentions freeze it seems.

Basically freezing isn't something legitimate that a person would do in a traumatic situation?

I respectfully disagree, people often become "frozen with fear" when faced with something traumatic. I think maybe the fact that sexual abuse is such a traumatic event that people often fear discussing their reactions to it as openly as they do with other types of trauma just as they often fear seeking help for it.

 

[Daniel E.]

people often become "frozen with fear" when faced with something traumatic.

And, of course, animals as well.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi i can remember so well a moment in my childhood freezing not able to move to cry out for help it seems like i had no voice i was paralized forever god It took awhile before a sound would come out it was awful feeling so helpless I do believe there is another stage of just fight or flight i have forgotten what is called

 

[Xelebes]

The freeze is definitely one of the responses I get and is the most problematic for me. HAven't had anything major over the years, but it also helps that I know I am generally in a safe place helps me and that the associations I have with certain events no longer are useful (the anticipation, the dread and the eventual helplessness.)