Friendship question

[kimmy]

Hi everybody !
Have you ever wanted to be absolutely the friend of a person because you thought this friendship would be true and sincere? and that person would probably be the only or the best friend you have in your life :friends:? what were your efforts to make this friendship? Does it work?

 

[Yuray]

Hi Kimmy

I have attempted what you mention, and it backfired because the person didn't live up to my misplaced expectations.

Yuray

 

[Jazzey]

Hi everybody !
Have you ever wanted to be absolutely the friend of a person because you thought this friendship would be true and sincere? and that person would probably be the only or the best friend you have in your life :friends:? what were your efforts to make this friendship? Does it work?

Hi Kimmy,

When I meet someone that I find nice, I may invite them to do something: going out for coffee or something else. Or, if I'm having a little get together with other friends, I'll invite that person too.

But I've never placed the kind of expectation that you're expressing here. Mostly because we don't know that person until that friendship starts to unfold a little. Some people I've invited into my life only to realize that I didn't want them in my life at some point, that they weren't who I believed that they were...

 

[Halo]

I don't believe that friendship can be rushed or forced. I think that it is a natural progression between two people and can lead to a meaningful, trusting, honest friendship but again it cannot be forced.

 

[kimmy]

Hi Kimmy

I have attempted what you mention, and it backfired because the person didn't live up to my misplaced expectations.

Yuray

sorry to hear that

 

[mindfulconstruct]

I don't believe that friendship can be rushed or forced. I think that it is a natural progression between two people and can lead to a meaningful, trusting, honest friendship but again it cannot be forced.

I agree. Friendships are dynamic, and they change when the people in them change.

When I was younger, I used to have labels for my "best" friends, something I grew out of quickly when I realized how fast my friends could change.

Now, I don't need the labels or have strong desires for friendships to succeed. I do have friendships that I honor and cherish, but I look at them realistically, because relationships take two.

And I think that the label can be an attempt to substitute for the real thing. As in, if you have a "best" friend that you know will be there for you no matter how hard things get... then you don't even need to call them that, because it is a given.