From 'Quote of the day'

[amastie]

Ready to start a thread in response to another, I happened to the Quote of the Day, posted by Daniel:

"If you deliberately set out to be less than you are capable of becoming, you will be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life."
Abraham Maslow

Don't know if others would agree with me, but I sincerely believe that it is at the centre of the defence-seeking nature of dissociative conditions that we specifically seek to hide behind a "self" or "selves" that are less than who we are, and yes, it does leave us deeply unhappy all the while.

- amastie

 

[Always Changing]

Can you expand a bit more on that Amastie?

 

[amastie]

Hi AC,

my response to the quote was almost instinctive rather than thought through, so now I must put reason to my instinct - still believing it totally to be true. My thoughts are based on my experience and what I've learned from others. Others here who see it differently please chime in.

When we dissociate severely, we create separate "selves" inside, each "self" appearing to be a full-fledged person in their own right. Indeed, someone with dissociative identity disorder (who splits completely from who they identify as their "original" self) will create whole new personas who do indeed appear to operate fully and independently of that "original" self. I believe the tv series "United States of Tara" showed that. I don't know as I never got into it. Even though someone who dissociates may act and feel like a full-fledged human being - and may well be offended not to be considered as much - there is no denying that any such fear-created individual is able to operate in the world *because* they have left behind memories of abuse or of being very vulnerable. That is their reason for being - to *not* be vulnerable to a particular situation.

To me, being vulnerable is an essential part of being fully present in the moment. Those of us who dissociate very much waive being fully present in order to feel safer (with good reason!) Nevertheless, such a choice will always keep us less than who we are.

- amastie